


Swanna Song

by thewordweaver



Category: Pocket Monsters | Pokemon (Main Video Game Series), Pocket Monsters | Pokemon - All Media Types, Pocket Monsters: Black & White | Pokemon Black and White Versions
Genre: Angst, Eventual Sex, Eventual Smut, F/M, Major Illness, Other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-20
Updated: 2016-10-20
Packaged: 2018-08-23 14:59:06
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 15
Words: 52,882
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8332144
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thewordweaver/pseuds/thewordweaver
Summary: "I'll give you one last song to remember me by. Don't ever let it leave your heart."





	1. Unravel

**Author's Note:**

> hiya hello I'm just cross-posting things from my ff.net account  
> felt it was about time for me to post something here lol since apparently the audience is better here
> 
> lmao don't ever talk to me about this story it was the launching pad but boy do I hate it passionately and feel the utmost embarrassment every time I think about it
> 
> date originally posted on ff.net: mid 2011  
> {all subsequent notes at the end of every chapter and after these brackets is from then as well}

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> {there's gonna be a lot of line breaks here in this prologue and for that I apologize
> 
> anywho, if you could kindly read what's under the last line break (it starts with actual author's note} before actually reading anything else, that'd be real swell
> 
> thanks.}
> 
> \----
> 
> Hi guys! I'm returning from an almost three year hiatus. xD; I neglected this account because I figured I would never be coming back to it, but boy, was I wrong.
> 
> For some reason, my writing spirit has been rejuvenated and stories are just coming out of my ass. D: I guess that's a good thing though. I know my writing has improved over the past three years, but I'm still not sure whether it's, you know, decent. But I guess I'll let you all be the judge of that. -nods-
> 
> Hopefully you'll enjoy this story of mine.
> 
> Disclaimer: I do not own Pokémon.

Touko had a big heart, but it was a weak heart.

Her heart was working overtime during this final battle with N. She had gotten him right where she wanted him.

Just as her Reshiram dealt the final blow to his Zekrom, she felt her heart thud violently in her chest. She clutched her chest with one hand and put the other over her mouth.

She coughed and wheezed, doubling over in pain. As she coughed, she felt a warm liquid splatter onto her hand and she knew what it meant. _'Dammit… at a time like this…_ ' Her attempt to suppress any further ones from erupting from her throat ended with her on the floor, on her knees.

The moment she was grounded, N ran across the room to her, hands hovering above her as he knelt down, unsure of what to do.

Reshiram whined, having been a witness to incidents such as this, but never this grave.

Touko leaned to the side before she tilted over completely, her body hitting the marble floor hard.

She was too out of breath to let out the groan that should have come from her. Her lungs failed her and she choked for air.

"Touko!" N exclaimed, taking one hand and lifting the top half of her body, propping her up on his lap. "Touko, don't close your eyes!"

Her eyelids were drooping and the darkness was closing in on her, embracing her. And she welcomed it gladly.

N didn't dare shake her awake; for fear that he might aggravate the situation at hand.

'Those eyes… what lovely green eyes…' she thought faintly, one hand weakly reaching out for his face. They shone through the shadows enveloping her.

"Touko! _Touko_!"

The last thing she saw before she passed out were those eyes, full of worry and fear, begging her to stay up just a little longer.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Touko has Ischaemic heart disease, but I threw some violent coughing in there for good measure. It makes for a good story. I think so anyway. -shy throat clearing-
> 
> "Swanna Song" is obviously a Pokefied twist on the term "Swan Song." Why such a title?
> 
> Because racecar.
> 
> In all seriousness, just keep the title in mind. It'll come in handy later.
> 
> "While you are away  
> My heart comes undone  
> Slowly unravels in a ball of yarn"  
> Unravel - Björk
> 
> \----
> 
> actual author's note
> 
> OKAY so I'm sure some of you may have questions {and if you don't and this is your first time ever seeing this story, perfect; hope you enjoy my super old work}
> 
> yes, this story existed a long time ago
> 
> yes, I deleted it because I was feeling really shitty about my work, so in a fit of emotional turmoil and general dissatisfaction with my writing and myself as a whole, I got rid of everything
> 
> luckily I wasn't completely stupid and I backed up everything just in case something like this happened again {surprise! it did}, so I'm gonna preface everything you'll see come from this story with this: I wrote this three years ago and finished about a year or so later so I started in mid 2011 and finished in late 2012
> 
> SO, expect to see a lot of plot holes and cliches, but it's otherwise what I feel is a... pretty decent story written by someone who was sixteen and just getting back into writing fanfiction after just writing for shits and giggles since she was in kindergarten and kinda bombed her first attempt at writing fanfiction back in 2008 {I'm old ok}
> 
> as far as uploading all the chapters go, I will not be uploading everything all at once. rather, I will be uploading each chapter every few days or so for the sake of those that are newcomers so that they're not like overwhelmed or anything {also it would be overwhelming for me to do all of that; I didn't save each chapter separately; I copy-pasted the entire story using the file recovery thing here and put it all in one Word doc so yeah}
> 
> other than the additions to this prologue, everything else will remain untouched from when I originally wrote this all to preserve its history {lmfao}, so you can all also enjoy cringing at my really silly 16 year old self and the outdated jokes and memes that were placed in the notes
> 
> to conclude: if this is your first time reading this, please rip this story to shreds so I know what to improve on even tho I've already improved quite a bit since then {critiques and advice are always welcome; no matter how old you are, you can always improve upon your writing}  
> if you've read this before and you're just glad it's back, thanks for coming back and I'm sorry for deleting this, especially if you genuinely enjoyed it at the time; thank you for your continued support.


	2. A Brief Respite

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I uploaded two chapters today. o: {Technically, it's a prologue and a chapter, but whatever.}
> 
> Enjoy!

' _Where am I?_ ' Touko was slowly coming to and she felt herself lying down on something plush and rather comfortable. She heard a soft, constant beeping, rhythmic and soothing, tempting her to fall back asleep. ' _I can't be at home… this isn't my bed… my bed isn't nearly as nice as this one…_ '

She stirred a little and sighed contently, opening her eyes slowly… only to be greeted by a face far too close to her own.

"Holy shi-!" Her heart beat rapidly and she put a hand over it to calm it down, staring wide-eyed at the green-haired teen. The heart monitor nearby beeped wildly for a few moments until she got her heart rate to settle.

"Good, you're up," N said with a sigh of relief, backing away enough so that he was just standing next to her bed. "That was quite a scare you gave me, passing out in the throne room like that."

"Slow down, you still talk too damn fast," she grumbled, trying to make sense of the jumble of words that came out of his mouth. She closed her eyes to try and backtrack to what had happened before she found herself here. ' _Speaking of locations…_ ' "Where am I? And how long was I out?" she asked him, reopening her eyes, just noticing the garb she was wearing. A standard hospital gown.

"The Team Plasma infirmary. And just a few hours."

She glanced around the room, seeing that she was indeed in a clinical setting. Even though the bed felt like a cloud, it was a hospital bed, equipped with the usual rolling wheels in case a patient needed to be moved somewhere else. Noticing the window not too far from the bed, she peered out of it, seeing nightfall set in. The room was darkening and it was becoming difficult to see anything, since the light in the center of the room on the ceiling wasn't turned on.

"Wait, I'm still in this damned castle?"

There was a slight pause of silence.

In a swift motion, she reached viciously for his neck. He would have been strangled mercilessly were it not for the sharp, painful tug she felt on her right arm.

With a small cry of pain and a labored wheeze afterward, she clutched it, seeing there was an IV attached to her arm. "Try not to move too suddenly. You might rip it out. I hear that's not very pleasant."

Grunting with annoyance, she fell back into her default position: lying down on the bed. She stared hatefully at him, seething with anger.

Figuring out what her concern was, he shook his head and patted her left arm. "Your pokémon are safe, don't worry," he assured her, hearing her breathe a little easier. "I had to hide their pokéballs, though." He grimaced a little after that comment, still despising the idea of keeping a pokémon trapped in a capsule like that. "Father was going to release them and leave you for dead, but I wouldn't stand for it. You won fair and square and it would be wrong of him or me to take advantage of your critical condition at the time."

"You're crazy, but you're noble."

"Pardon?"

"Nothing."

N stared at her strangely for a moment before turning around and grabbing a chair in the room, pulling it to her bedside and sitting down in it. He wore an intense expression on his face as he watched her.

Noticing this, Touko coughed lightly and looked in any other direction but his. This went on longer than she might have anticipated and it was really starting to unnerve her. " _What?_ " She finally voiced at last with a stressed sigh, scowling at him.

"You're an interesting character."

"I repeat: _what?_ "

"During our battle, you were pushing your pokémon hard, but you were both in sync, as if they could read your mind and know what you wanted them to do. And whenever they were hit, you were genuinely concerned for their well-being. I didn't think trainers could care that much about their pokémon and that the pokémon would want to be with humans that force them to fight."

"You're kind of jaded, N. I don't know what kind of trainers you've been watching, but the ones I know of are just like what you described." She shook her head. "Anyway, that was sweet and all, but I kind of need to go home."

"Nonsense! You're in no condition to go anywhere. You can get all the treatments you need here." His brow furrowed together and he frowned at her, unhappy with the fact that she was so quick to leave.

Truthfully, Touko didn't really want to leave just yet anyhow. She was tired to the bone and the hospital bed was too tempting to leave. ' _Damn Team Plasma and their nice hospital beds._ ' "Fine, fine, I'll stay. But if I'm so much as treated as a hostage, I'm leaving ASAP, whether it kills me or not." She huffed, closing her eyes.

"While you're here, could you maybe…"

She reopened her eyes and raised an eyebrow at him, wondering what was going on. "'Maybe' ...?"

"Could you teach me about friends? Or at least acquaintances?"

She choked on air for a moment, sitting up quickly and staring bewilderedly at him. "We're _enemies!_ We just had a heated battle some odd hours ago! Which, by the way, _almost killed me_." She deadpanned the last sentence, though her facial expression didn't change much.

"I'd like to think that we're at a truce, since you beat me. And I'm sorry for that; I had no idea about your condition."

An awkward pause befell them once again.

"So will you?"

"I don't know…" She stared at her covered legs.

"Touko…" When she looked back up at him after he murmured her name, she could see those light emerald eyes pleading with her, staring into her soul. And it pulled at her heart strings.

' _Fucking… ugh. Damn those eyes that entice me…_ ' She closed her eyes once more and clutched her forehead, sighing heavily. "I can't believe I'm going to agree to this…" she mumbled much too quietly for him to hear, earning her an inquisitive look from him. "I swear I'm becoming delusional." After she finished talking to herself, she told him, "I guess since I can't leave quite yet… and you _did_ save my life… fine. It's the least I can do."

She opened one eyelid tentatively and saw the grin that threatened to break his face in two. As much as she tried not to, the grin was contagious and she found herself smirking a little. "Alright, alright, you can st—" Before she could finish speaking, she was pulled into a suffocating hug.

The heart monitor went crazy again.

"Thank you," he murmured.

"Yeah, yeah, now could you let me go? I can't breathe," she muffled into his chest.

"Right. Sorry. From what little I know, hugs can be used to express gratitude sometimes." He released her from his death vice and she breathed deeply to catch her breath.

"At least you know a little, so you're not _completely_ helpless." She chuckled to herself.

He stared at her blankly, not understanding her dry humor.

"It—never mind." She shook her head and lied back down. "I'm going back to sleep. I'm still tired."

"Okay. Good night then." N got up out of his chair and nodded once before he left the room.

Touko closed her eyes and moved so that she was lying down on her side, facing the door.

' _What a day._ '

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Brownie points if you know where Touko's "you talk too fast" came from. ;D
> 
> I feel like I rambled with this chapter. I wrote for about two hours before I noticed how long I spent writing. D: Well, at least I know how to kill time. xD;
> 
> A Brief Respite - Masashi Haumazu  
> {It's a musical piece, so I can't write lyrics.}


	3. Power-Hungry Fool

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> bupbup whatever used to be here is gone 'cause I accidentally got rid of it, my bad.

Feeling refreshed the next morning, Touko stretched her body, sighing and relaxing once she was done. She didn't want to open her eyes just yet, but…

It felt like something was hovering over her.

Risking a peek, she saw a recognizable face rather close to hers again.

"Mother of Arceus!" She slid back quickly, grabbing hold of her dear heart again.

"What the hell, N. Is it really necessary to do that?" Her face looked stressed and it was quite obvious that she didn't enjoy that kind of wake-up call at all.

"Sorry," he apologized, smiling sheepishly at her. "It's just really interesting to watch you sleep. And you mumble things really quietly, so I move closer to hear." Seeing her face pale with dread and figuring that that wasn't exactly something she wanted to hear and why it would alarm her, he added, "But don't worry! You're usually not coherent."

She still wasn't very relieved by his rushed addition, but at least it was undecipherable. She had forgotten that she was prone to talking in her sleep, but it wasn't exactly something she really worried about, since no one was around to listen to her spout nonsense.

Until now, anyway.

Shaking her head, she sat up and attempted to fix her hair a little. Eyeing a curtain in a corner of the room, she saw a showerhead and was suddenly filled with the burning desire to shower. "Hey N?" He had turned his face away from her since he felt she needed to recover from her shock, but he looked back at her when she called for him. "Yes?"

"Any chance I could shower?"

N nodded and, before she could ask, went over to disconnect her from the IV drip and the heart monitor. "Be careful not to move that arm too much," he warned her, pointing to her right arm, which still had the bottom half of the IV tube attached to it. "It'll hurt."

While she was watching him, she saw a rather large blue and green bruise flowering his cheek. "What is that?" she asked, pointing to it.

"A bruise."

"Well obviously. _How did you get it?_ "

"My father hit me because I refused to do as he said. I may be king, but he still has authority over me. At least, that's how he sees it."

Having little understanding about human sympathy, he was shocked when she looked absolutely horrified. Not only did he seem to be indifferent about it when he told her, he just outright said it!

"If disobeying your father led to you getting hurt, and you knew it would, you should have just listened to what he said. I don't want you getting hurt just to save me."

"But isn't that what friends do? Save each other no matter what?" Was he getting this right or were his limited view on how a friendship should work all skewed?

"Well, yes, but I wasn't your friend at the time." Touko's face twisted with concern.

"I hoped that you might become my friend. And I didn't want to let the opportunity get away."

Checkmate.

Too bad he didn't know how well he had stumped her.

Her mouth moved like a magikarp's for some time, opening and closing wordlessly, before she decided to just leave it closed, her jaw audibly clicking shut.

"Did I say something wrong?" he asked her anxiously as she was pulling aside her sheets and getting to her feet without responding to him. He didn't want to have failed and lose his only chance of being an acquaintance to someone just after a day of her being here.

"No, no, just thinking," she said at last, patting his shoulder as she shuffled past him. "Go get me some clothes and a towel, please. And maybe some—" She cut herself off, blushing slightly at the thought of having him retrieve those. "You know what, never mind. Could you ask Anthea or Concordia or some female nurse to come here instead, please? I think it might be better if they got what I need instead."

N looked at Touko with a puzzled expression. First she touched his shoulder out of nowhere, then she stopped what she was saying all of a sudden. And now her face turned a soft shade of pink.

What?

' _Humans are strange… so much harder to understand than pokémon…_ ' He figured he might as well just roll with it. Maybe all of these actions would start making sense later.

Going over to the wall adjacent with the headboard of the bed, he pressed a button, which said to him, "Yes, Miss Touko?"

"This is N."

"Oh! Master N! I had forgotten that you were also in her room." The voice sounded flustered and embarrassed.

"It's quite alright. Could you send either Anthea or Concordia down here, please? Preferably soon." If Touko was going to want things, those two were the only females he trusted to get her anything.

"Of course. I'll send for them right away."

"Thank you."

Releasing the button, he looked at Touko, who had decided to sit back down on the bed.

"Is it really that bad that you can't ask me to get whatever it is you need?"

"Yes."

N scowled at the bluntness of the answer, disappointed that this relationship of theirs wasn't exactly going the way he had hoped.

While Touko looked around the room in detail now that she could see it clearly, N sulked, which she duly noted.

It amused her, but she knew that he was brooding over her lack of wanting him to do anything for her. He did want her friendship after all. Trusting one with something was a way to make and strengthen bonds. She supposed he picked up on that.

Just as she was about to console him, Anthea came through the door, bowing slightly to N. "You called for me, my lord?"

"Yes." His expression cleared just a second after she came through the door, but she had already taken notice of it. "Touko needs things. And she'd rather talk to you about what they are." He didn't know the name for what he was feeling at the moment, but he didn't like it. He didn't appreciate the fact that she was choosing someone else to talk to about what she felt was necessary for herself over him.

Anthea nodded and went over to Touko, who stood up once again. As they were talking, Touko noticed out of the corner of her eye that N was staring at them, more specifically, their lip movements. She shot him a glare before she apologized to Anthea, grabbing the woman's shoulders and turning them both. Now Touko's back faced N and Anthea was standing directly in front of her, blocking his view.

N pouted and sat down in the chair with a huff, crossing his arms and staring aimlessly around the room until they were done.

"Thank you," she told the Plasma member, nodding once to further acknowledge her thanks.

"Anytime." Anthea walked to the door, bowing when she was near N before she left the room, off to obtain what Touko had requested.

"You," she said, pointing to N, "out," she continued, now pointing to the door.

"For what?"

"I need to shower."

She got a blank look in return.

"I will be _naked_."

Another blank look.

Smacking her forehead, she decided to put this in a way he would understand. "Friends of the opposite gender do not stay in the same room when one is unclothed, unless they are something more than just friends."

"There's such a thing as being more than just friends?" His curiosity had now been piqued.

"Don't worry about it, that's for a later day." She looked expectantly at him with her hands on her hips, jerking her chin at the door.

Relenting, N rose from the chair he was in and dragged himself to the door.

"Do I really have to—?"

" _Yes._ "

With a defeated sigh, N left the room.

Wiping her forehead with a release of air, Touko untied her gown and went over to and pulled back the curtain, surprised to see a sink with a mirror above it and a toilet as well. "Nice," she murmured, thoroughly impressed.

N was leaning against the door of the room, moping quite gloriously. A few minutes later, as Anthea was rounding the corner to the room, she could see him with a distasteful look upon his face because of the fact that he had been kicked out. With a quiet chuckle, she made her way to him.

"These are what Touko asked for, Master N. You can put them in the room since you are standing out here."

He fixed his face and took it gladly, appreciating the excuse to go back into the room prematurely.

N was going to put the large bag of goods on the bed quietly and just sneak out, but he was riveted by a wondrous sound that reached his ears.

Touko was singing.

And quite beautifully at that.

He knew he should have left already, but the sound was too majestic to miss out on.

Once the song she was singing came to an end, she turned off the water and pulled back the curtain.

Only to grip it tightly for her life.

"Dammit N, I thought I told you to stay outside the fucking room!" she screeched with a cherry red face.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry! Anthea came with your things, so I brought the bag in for here and then I heard you singing and—"

"Waitwaitwaitwaitwait." She almost missed that last part, since he was speaking in a quick mumble again. " _You heard my singing?_ "

"Err… yes." There was no point in lying when he already told her he did.

There was a tense silence. A pokémon could have cut the thickness of it.

"Just… just hand me the bag, please."

N grabbed the bag off of the bed, but he was wary about approaching her. Humans could get violent when they were mad. He had seen it before. His father was a frequent example of that.

But he trusted her… kind of.

Hesitantly, he made his way to the curtain, swiftly withdrawing his hand from it once she had gotten hold of it. Noticing how fast his hand had moved, Touko smirked a little. "I'm glad you have the sensibility to tell when someone's upset. Just listen to me next time, alright?"

"I still don't see what was wrong with me staying in here."

Her expression was sour again, tinged with a bit of embarrassment. "Let's never speak of this again, okay? You never saw anything, you never heard anything."

"What about you? That sounds one-sided."

"That's the point. You forget about it completely and live with sunshine and rainbows and I am left scarred for the rest of my life."

Her humor flew over his head once again. This actually caused him to worry instead.

Because she didn't hear a laugh or so much as a chuckle from him, she knew he didn't get the joke.

"Ugh, never mind. Just don't bring it up anymore."

He nodded, though she obviously didn't see it.

Touko emerged from behind the curtain a little while later, feeling fresh and cleansed, wearing comfy pajamas instead of standard hospital wear. But now she was hungry.

And her stomach let the both of them know it.

"I probably should have asked for food…" she muttered, hanging her head in resignation.

"I'll get it this time," N offered excitedly, already on his way to the door. "Unless… you want Concordia or Anthea to instead?" His cheerful mood darkened a little.

She could hear the twinge of jealousy in his voice and it took all she had to keep from smiling. She knew he would question it if she did. "No, no, you can get it this time, if you really want to."

"Anything for a friend." He grinned from ear to ear, jogging to the door.

"We aren't even really friends ye—" The door clicked shut before she could finish.

Tutting with her tongue and shaking her head, she reattached herself to the IV drip and heart monitor.

* * *

Sometime later, as she was watching her heart rate on the LCD, she heard the door open. "That was kind of f—"

Her back hit the headboard and she let out a strangled cry.

Ghetsis had her by her neck against the chilling metal, staring hatefully at her. "I knew he would be keeping you here. This wing is the one we rarely use. He's foolish to think that I wouldn't ever look here."

The heart monitor had the most constant beeping it had ever had before.

"Little tramp, thinking you could just come in here and manipulate N to do your bidding. And not just him, but Anthea and Concordia as well. I should kill you right here and now."

He started to close the hand he had around her neck, causing her to grab at his hand with both of hers, gasping for air.

She swallowed as much air as she could and coughed a few times when he finally let her go.

"No… later. I want N to feel more pain than he ever has before. Even more than the bruise I gave him. Harsh, emotional pain. That will teach him to never try and become attached to anything ever again." He smiled cruelly at her. She kept herself from shaking to show that she was afraid, but she couldn't stop her tears from falling.

"You are wise to fear me, tramp." He cackled a laugh as he went to the door. "Do not fret. I will return at a later date. I'm sure you'll be looking forward to it."

Once the door closed, sobs erupted from her chest, wracking her body. She thought she had been at least somewhat safe, at least when N was around, but the moment she was alone, she was vulnerable.

And she hated it.

* * *

By the time N returned, looking rather pleased with himself, she had stopped sobbing, but she still appeared to be pretty shaken up. His good mood instantly vanished upon seeing this, and he placed the tray on the nightstand beside the bed. "Touko, what's wrong?" He asked, considerably concerned.

She just shook her head and stared blankly at her legs.

He frowned at her unresponsiveness, but he let the subject drop. He would respect her space. He had already messed up once today and he didn't want to make two mistakes in one day. "Here's your food," he said instead. He lifted the tray and placed it carefully onto her lap.

She graciously accepted it, mumbling a soft "Thank you" before she began to eat.

She ate in silence and by the time she was done, she had calmed down enough that she was no longer setting off N's alarms. He was still a bit worried, but she no longer seemed to be too stressed out about it.

He just wished he could have helped his devastated friend.

* * *

During the middle of the night, Touko woke up, sitting up suddenly, having nightmares about Ghetsis' departing words. She just barely contained the scream she was ready to release and breathed heavily, feeling the cold sweat that slicked her skin. The heart monitor's image was filled with rising and falling lines from her sudden anxiety, but it seemed someone had silenced it for the time being.

It wasn't until she had calmed down enough that she felt she was touching hair other than her own.

"What the—?" Her eyes now adjusted to the darkness, she could see a familiar lanky figure sitting in a chair, slumped over her bed, and breathing slowly. ' _I thought he went to sleep in his own room…_ '

She tried to figure out when and why he would come back, but nothing was coming to her. Had it have been medical, she would have known. The condition she had woke her up whenever it got serious.

Coming to no reasonable conclusions, she decided that she would ask him in the morning.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: -accidentally deleted what was here- Sorry!
> 
> Power-Hungry Fool - Yuka Tsujiyoko  
> {This is also a musical piece, so I can't write lyrics.}


	4. Upstairs

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> lmfao it took me this long to upload an already prewritten chapter pathetic
> 
> also why was this chapter so long what the hell...
> 
> what was I thinking back then...
> 
> \----
> 
> Wheeeeeee filling this with other things is actually kinda fun. n_n Wish I remembered what was originally here, though.
> 
> But anyway.
> 
> Have fun reading!

"N, I am going to kill you. I will decapitate you, flay you, and leave your skin out to dry."

He looked absolutely petrified after she said this.

"Stop waking up right in front of me then!" Touko scowled and sat up, feeling a bit satisfied when he shied away from her glare.

"Friends don't do that, okay? It's weird. And unsettling. Don't do it anymore, alright?"

N frowned, but truthfully, he didn't have any intention of stopping. She said the strangest things when she was sleeping. Before she woke up, he thought he heard her mumbling about Ghetsis.

He was sure that that was just his imagination, though.

Probably.

"By the way, I have a question for you." N looked back at her inquisitively. "Why did you come back to my room last night?"

Well, she wasn't supposed to find out about _that_. But he wasn't going to lie. That just wasn't him.

"I didn't want to leave you alone for too long. My father is out for you and I don't want him being able to hurt you while I'm not around…"

Too late for that.

"… And what if you needed anything? I don't want you having to wait too long to get something."

Touko had to blink and rub her eyes before the image of a lillipup's perky ears and wagging tail on him disappeared. His "Aren't you proud of me?" look had made it harder for it to vanish.

"I see you're learning. Friends are around whenever their friend isn't well."

There went that vision again.

"Uhm, Touko, does friendship also involve being patted on the head sometimes too?"

Whoops.

She hadn't even realized that she took that picture seriously. "Sometimes," she answered with a nervous chuckle. She said that just to cover her ass, but it _was_ true. Kind of.

"Give me a second." She freed herself from the machines and made her way over to the curtain.

"Should I step out?" N was slowly getting out of the chair, not wanting a repeat of yesterday's events.

The memory was still fresh, so she knew why he asked. "No, I just need to freshen up." She scowled and mentally cheered to herself when she successfully suppressed her blush.

Once she emerged from the curtain, she sat down on the edge of the bed, back facing him. Suddenly, she turned around and asked, "Can I leave the room?"

"For? Do you need anything?" She saw the lillipup ears perk up.

"No, not right now, calm yourself. I want to walk around. Being bedridden for too long isn't good for me. It isn't good for anyone, really." She went to the large bag near the curtain and fished out a pair of slippers. Now that they were on her feet, she headed for the door.

"W-wait! That's not safe! You're supposed to keep your friends from danger, right?" He dashed after her.

"Then come along then!" She walked briskly, her normal walking speed. It wasn't fast, but it wasn't slow. And it kept her heart from going crazy from strenuous effort.

"What about the heart monitor and the IV?" She wasn't supposed to stay away from those for extended periods of time.

"They're too bothersome to carry around! I can't walk around with them. They're bulky." She waved him off as she started to walk aimlessly, making observations about where she was.

"At least let me lead you. You're going to get lost if you just go wherever you please." N didn't realize that having a friend came with additional stress.

But it was worth it.

"You know, I don't doubt that. It might be better if you did that, actually." She stopped and smiled sheepishly at him.

Once he was leading Touko, he asked her, "Did you have anywhere in particular you wanted to go?"

"Nope, I just want to explore. How about you give me a tour of the rest of this place? That would make more sense than just strolling around for no apparent reason."

N grinned at this suggestion and nodded, starting to walk a little faster. His strides were long, so for Touko, she had to practically jog to keep up.

"N, slow down!" She was starting to pant a little, a hand over her heart.

"Hm?" He glanced over his shoulder and saw her trying to match his pace. "Sorry." He stopped and waited for her to reach him, walking at her pace once she was next to him. His eyebrows furrowed in concern, pointing to his own chest, referring to hers.

"My heart's fine, just a little upset with me." She chuckled. "Don't do that again. I just might collapse next time." She punched his arm playfully.

He stared at her in confusion, wondering about what just happened. He was hit, but it didn't hurt like his father's.

Why?

Touko, upon seeing his puzzlement, shook her head. "What I did is what you'd call a 'playful punch'. It's not supposed to inflict pain. You use it when you're joking around with a pal. Got it?"

N nodded, but he didn't quite understand that.

Oh, she had so much to teach him.

"I'll go into detail about this later. I think I should get you some self-help books to read when you're not busy watching me like a Braviary. Seriously." She shook her head and chuckled to herself. "Anywhere, where are we going first?"

He thought for a moment. "It's the morning, so you should probably eat breakfast."

Her stomach growled right on cue.

He laughed and she smacked his arm this time, glaring at him, though a smirk tugged at her lips.

"Was that another one of those playful hits? That one kind of hurt though." He rubbed his arm and frowned slightly.

"Yes. Sometimes they'll hurt if the person that hit you didn't really enjoy what you did or said. It stings a little for a bit, but it's harmless for the most part."

He looked at her skeptically, but she was the one he asked to teach him about how all of this worked. If this was the price for that, then so be it.

* * *

Once Touko scarfed down her breakfast with N watching in horror and wonder at how much she could eat, he began the tour of the castle.

Whenever a Team Plasma member came past, they would bow to him and not question what he was doing walking around with her. She was sure they would object to it, but there was no response from anyone.

"Are they usually this silent?" She asked when yet another walked by. "Don't they not like me?"

"They've been taught not to speak out of line. I'm completely different from my father, and they know this, but they don't take any chances." He looked a little gloomy, but it was soon dispelled.

As the tour continued, the amount of walking that Touko was doing was getting to her. When N could audibly hear her wheezing, he stopped walking, becoming concerned. "Touko, maybe we should go back to your room."

She immediately shook her head no. "I'll be fine, let's keep moving."

But when she took a few steps forward, she was brought down onto her hands and knees.

"Okay, so maybe I'm a little tired." She slowly stood up and dragged herself to one of the walls of the hallway, leaning back and sliding down on it. He joined her at the wall, sitting next to her.

"I'm going to use you as a pillow," she declared, putting her head on his shoulder. "Friends sometimes use each other as pillows if there's no other adequate replacement for one."

And she didn't want to admit it, but N was a pretty damn comfortable pillow.

She was just starting to relax when they heard voices coming from down the hall. And one of them was recognizable to her.

Instantly, Touko scrambled to her feet and started to panic, afraid of being caught. N himself started to get a feeling of dread, since the Pokémon trainer herself was right there, vulnerable and ready for preying on.

He grabbed her hand and they sped further down the hall, turning a corner. The voices were a bit louder now and they sounded like they were coming closer.

If they ran now, they would be heard.

Touko couldn't really recognize any of the voices but one, but N knew all of them as well as which one belonged to whom.

The Sages.

They had gotten together for a meeting and he had forgotten that they were having that meeting today.

That would have been totally fine if it weren't for the fact that this was the wing that meetings were held.

They were doomed.

She started to shake involuntarily and he felt it since he was holding her hand. He pulled her over and held her waist for comfort, trying to calm her down. When more speech was heard, he peeked around the corner, watching the seven carefully.

"N…" Her heart had already been hammering in her chest and with him holding her like this, it wasn't helping in the slightest.

"Shh," he breathed in her ear. "They're close."

Oh, they were close alright.

A little _too_ close in her opinion.

Touko could feel her face heat up.

"Wait, this isn't the way to the throne room," one of them said, turning around. "It's still easy to get lost in this blasted castle, even after being in it for so long."

The Sages turned around and walked in the opposite direction.

After he heard the elevator open and close and he peeked the corner to make sure, N let go of her.

Touko could feel her little Pidove heart beat out of control.

"The tour's going to have to continue some other time. We were too close to getting caught." She nodded in agreement and started to walk. He grabbed her hand and stopped her.

"You're tired, I can tell." She was a trooper, but she was going to kill herself if she kept overworking herself like this. "I have an idea." He turned so that his back was facing her and he knelt down.

Wait, was he offering to carry her?

"I'll be fine, N, really."

"Touko…" He looked over at her and made a pleading face.

The tail and ears that she envisioned stopped wagging and folded themselves down respectively.

And those eyes.

Those damn eyes which seemed to have the power to persuade her to do anything.

"Fine," she said reluctantly, swallowing her pride and putting her arms around his neck. He stood up and hooked his arms around and under her legs.

She was so glad the pajama pants were long.

Shame about the short shirt sleeves, though.

Her hands were on his chest, her arms were touching his neck, and when she rested her head, she was on the crook connecting his neck to his shoulder.

She didn't know how many more surprises her little Pidove heart could take in one day.

Though she resisted as much as she could, Touko took a quiet whiff of his scent.

He smelled of berries. Mostly Oran.

Did he go around feeding wild pokémon in his spare time? She didn't know why, but the image popped into her head and she laughed quietly to herself.

Well, wherever he got the scent from, it smelled delicious.

Though you wouldn't ever get her to say that out loud.

It was intoxicating and, coupled with the constant, hypnotic motion of his steps rocking her slightly, and her head resting with her eyes closed, she started to doze off. ' _I'm just resting my eyes… I'll open them within thirty seconds…_ '

While he was walking up a flight of stairs, he said, "Touko?"

No answer.

"Touko?"

Still nothing.

When he turned his head to look at her, he found that she was sleeping.

And she was drooling a little, but that was okay.

A little saliva never hurt anyone.

"Ghetsis, no!" She mumbled, sounding distressed. "You can't do that! Leave him alone!"

He frowned, hearing her nightmare and wishing he could comfort her.

And why was she dreaming about his father anyway?

* * *

Touko felt refreshed, stretching out on a nice, fluffy surface.

Wait, what?

She opened her eyes, only slightly less shocked to see N in front of her face.

"N, I meant what I said before."

He looked shamefaced, hanging his head. "Why do you insist on keeping me from being allowed to listen to you?"

"Because I might say the wrong thing." She scowled at him. "Anyway, did you bring me here after I fell asleep? And how long was I out for this time?" She couldn't believe she felt comfortable enough to fall asleep on him. She's only really gotten to know him over the past three days and already she was acting pretty chummy.

' _Too fast, Touko. Too fast._ '

"Yes and about half an hour. Also, you drooled a little bit on my shoulder, but I changed my shirt."

He really needed to learn when and when not to speak.

Her face flushed and she looked down, muttering a "sorry."

He could see the color on her face and he tilted his head to the side, questioning what that was. "It's alright," he told her. "But why is your face turning red? Is that normal?" He reached out for her face, placing a hand on her cheek.

It was warm.

And it was getting warmer by the second.

Because she had been reconnected to the machines, the heart monitor was going off again.

"Don't do that," she said, brushing his hand off without looking at him. Once his hand was off of her face, the heart monitor slowed down some, but it still continued to beep rapidly.

"What this color on my face is is called blushing. It happens when you're faced with a humiliating situation. You've felt humiliated before, right?"

"Yeah, when you beat Zekrom and me. My father wasn't pleased at all."

Touko frowned and patted his hand, which was on the bed after she brushed it off of her face. "You could have gotten revenge by leaving me there to die."

"What good would that do? You beat me and you turned out to be true hero. As much as I hate pokémon being kept in capsules and being forced to fight, I must abide by the beliefs of the one who won. Killing you off would be illogical." He shook his head and grabbed hold of her hand, smiling slightly.

There went her blush again.

And the heart monitor.

Her heart was just going crazy today, wasn't it?

When he heard the heart monitor go off again, he let go of her to test a theory, to see if the same thing that happened last time would happen this time.

Lo and behold, it did.

He didn't know whether that was a good thing or a bad thing; Touko's heart rate went up whenever he touched her.

"Stop that!" She grumbled, not enjoying being subject to unnecessary physical contact.

She kept her eyes from meeting his, he noticed.

He would have to look up more about this, it seemed.

"Master N?" The intercom called, sounding a bit worried. "Ghetsis and the other six Sages wish to see you." It clicked off and N's face looked stressed, taking off his hat and running a hand through his hair.

"They're probably going to talk about why I shouldn't keep you here and how I failed as king of Team Plasma and…" He trailed off, watching Touko's guilt set in. "It's okay, really. When you're king, you never hear the end of it." He shook his head. "As you heard, I have to go. I'll be back as soon as I can."

He put his hat on her head and smiled slightly before leaving the room.

She looked up at the bill of the hat, then pulled it off of her head.

Biting her lip, she watched the door for a minute or so, making sure he wasn't about to come back or that no one was going to come through the door.

Then she pressed it to her face and took a whiff of it.

She felt like such a creeper.

But as long as no one caught her, it was okay, right?

She hoped so.

After she put the hat back on her head, she disconnected herself from the machines and grabbed the chair N would sit on, bringing it over to the window. Once that was in place, she dug a book out of the bag of items and made herself comfortable in the chair.

* * *

Taking a break after reading for a few hours, she put the book down and glanced anxiously at the door, wondering how long this meeting had been going on.

Where was N?

… Not that she was _that_ worried or anything.

So she told herself.

Concordia came in to check on her, so she asked the woman where he was. "He's still at the meeting. He requested that I stop by and check on you if he still hadn't returned after three hours."

Touko nodded and thanked her, not saying anything else after that. She waited until she heard the door shut.

Sighing she faced forward and looked out of the window, seeing a Braviary fly by.

She was then suddenly filled with longing, missing her team.

Maybe she could ask N.

If he ever returned, that is.

* * *

N walked into the room quietly, almost silently, and chuckled to himself after the first thing he saw.

Touko was asleep with her head thrown back and the book over her face with his hat on the floor.

Amused, he went over and picked up the hat and carefully took the book off of her face, placing both on the arm on the chair. As gently as he could, he picked her up.

When he did, she stirred and woke up slightly, barely opening her eyes. "A prince?" she muttered, looking a little frustrated because she was trying to figure it out.

"Not quite."

"A king?"

Thinking about this and putting two and two together, it finally clicked and she came to a little more. "N? What time is it? And why are you dressed like that?"

He was wearing a gold crown and a lush, white robe.

"It's about 6pm. And don't you remember? I had a meeting with the Seven Sages." His expression looked a little dark when he brought them up.

"Oh… I want to see my pokémon. I miss them." She yawned a little and closed her eyes, losing the weak grip she had on consciousness.

"You'll be able to see them in due time."

She nodded, just faintly hearing him.

"Let it be soon. I want to…" She passed out and her jaw went slack.

' _It's hard to believe she's someone you wouldn't want to battle with as an enemy._ ' He shook his head with a smirk as he set her down on the bed.

He didn't know how else to describe it, but he had a certain fondness for her.

She was really quite interesting.

* * *

Over the next two weeks, N and Touko made it a daily occurrence to go out for a walk in the morning after she woke up.

Well, it was more like she would choose to go out, regardless of his concern, and he would obligingly follow.

On the bright side, he was learning a lot more about how friends worked and he should and shouldn't do around them.

And he learned more about her.

But even though they were getting closer, she still wouldn't let him stay in the room while she showered.

And he still didn't understand why this was unacceptable. But he abided by it.

… Most of the time anyway.

Her singing was too hard to resist.

* * *

Putting a hand out without opening her eyes, she pushed his face away from hers. She had gotten used to it because, no matter how often she would tell him to cut it out, he would still do it.

When life gives you Sitrus berries, you make a Sitrus smoothie.

"Can we do something a little different today instead of going for a walk?" he asked her, having gotten used to her pushing his face away.

Sitting up and ruffling her hair with her hand, she raised an eyebrow at him. "Exactly what do you have in mind?"

"It's a surprise. Can we?"

"I don't see why not. Just give me a second."

Once she was ready, she walked to the door, waving him over. When he reached her, she nabbed the hat off of his head and placed it on her own. "So, what are we doing?"

He pulled out a piece of cloth from his pocket. "You're going to have to wait and see."

She scowled and crossed her arms with a huff. "Fine." She trusted him enough at this point.

Now that the blindfold was on her, he led her around, a hand on the small of her back.

He had an amused smirk on his face upon seeing her blush. He had read about what it could mean, but he didn't have a complete understanding of it.

Maybe he'd ask her what it meant to have a "crush" some time. He was sure she would know how to explain it in a way that made more sense.

"I had to pull a lot of strings to make sure that you could be here," N said once they reached their destination. "I'll probably get in trouble for this later, but I'm sure it'll be worth it."

She didn't get what he was saying until the blindfold came off and she saw her team, standing there excitedly, joyed to see her again.

"Scorch! Deviant! Bolt! Geisha! Shogun! Courage!" She ran up to them and threw herself at her Reshiram, grabbing his fur while the others crowded around her. "I missed you guys so much." Her vision became blurry with tears, so she closed her eyes, holding tight to Scorch. Her five other pokémon made themselves comfortable around her.

N watched, a tender look on his face. It was hard to believe someone loved pokémon as much as he did, especially if they were sticking them in pokéballs.

But when he let her team out of their pokéballs before he went to get Touko, they sounded content, almost glad, with being in those things. A bit hostile with him at first, but they were happy.

He asked them if they would rather be released. The Reshiram, Liepard, Emolga, Mienshao, Samurott, and Braviary all had the same response: they would rather die than be separated from their beloved trainer. They had an unmatched loyalty for her.

When she finally recovered enough from the high she had gotten after seeing her pokémon, she looked around, finally noticing her surroundings. "Where are we?" She asked him.

The area looked just like the outside world, only, when you looked up, there was a glass ceiling several hundred feet high. Side to side, it was forest as far as the eye could see.

And it was alive. She could hear the cries of pokémon coming from every direction.

"This is an entire wing for pokémon we've… rescued."

"Stolen?"

" _Borrowed_. I'm trying to see if I can return them to their trainers of they looked perfectly fine when they were taken."

She looked shocked to hear this piece of news.

"What? I've seen that not _all_ trainers hurt their pokémon. They have them fight, but it's to grow stronger and make and strengthen bonds. At least, that's what a lot of the pokémon I asked told me."

After he heard what Touko's team said, he went to see if this held true with the others that were confiscated.

Sure enough, it was.

A good lot of them looked heartbroken from being separated from their trainers. And it hurt him to see them like that.

' _This is my fault._ '

And he would fix his mistake.

"If you go in certain directions, you'll come across a replicated ocean, desert, plain, and grassland. Each is specifically made to look like their homelands."

She nodded at him, thoroughly impressed. "I'm glad you're learning." She gave him a wide, genuine grin; the first one she's made since she got here.

It was worth a lifetime of troubles from Ghetsis just for the chance to see that grin.

He cleared his throat and looked away from her, a light pink dying his cheeks.

She was too preoccupied with her companions to notice.

* * *

"Touko, we need to go. Concordia and Anthea know where to hide your pokémon and they won't tell a soul, but other Plasma members make rounds around here. If they see us, it'll certainly reach Ghetsis."

Everyone had been relaxing around Scorch: Touko was lying against him while the others lounged peacefully when she had been singing to them.

But once N mentioned his father's name, she choked and her face paled, but she really didn't want to go.

Sighing and getting up reluctantly, she told her team, "Sorry, guys, I have to go." They were all roused and they all made a distressed cry, clinging to her tightly.

"C'mon guys. You're making this really hard for me." It took all she had to keep herself from crying. They were sad, but they let go. "I'll see you guys later, okay?" She patted each of their heads.

"Behave, Deviant, okay? Stop picking on Bolt. You know he hates that. And Geisha, I trust you'll keep those two in line. Courage, Shogun, try not to overwork yourselves. Scars are cool, but they're not cool when I have to get you guys healed because you couldn't control yourselves. And Scorch, watch all of them, okay? I know you can do that."

All of them gathered together for a group hug.

As she and N were heading for the exit, she walked backwards, waving at them and blowing kisses.

Right as they got to the door, N stopped and turned around, caught off-guard when he found that she was hugging him. "Thank you. A lot," she said, her voice muffled. He returned the hug and found himself disappointed when she let go.

She wiped at her eyes with her fingers before looking at him. "Okay, ready."

"Unfortunately, I have to blindfold you again. I can't let you know where this wing is just yet."

She nodded with understanding and let herself be blindfolded.

* * *

In those two weeks, a doctor came by once each week. The first time, he prescribed her to a disgusting, smelly medicine. Touko was going to throw it away, but N gave her those pleading eyes and she found herself taking it daily as prescribed.

But today, once she was unblindfolded, she neglected to take it.

"Touko, did you take the medicine today? You usually take it after our walks."

"I took it before we left."

There was a staredown.

"You're lying."

How did he _do_ that?

"Okay, so I didn't. One day isn't going to kill me." She waved his comment off. She was in a great mood after seeing her 'mons and she didn't want to ruin it by taking that vile medicine.

"Take it. It's to help your heart. I know it tastes terrible, but it's necessary."

"But I _really_ don't want to."

"Touko…"

She glanced at him and quickly glanced away. Those damn eyes weren't going to get her this time.

"No." She marched over to her bed and flopped down on it.

She closed her eyes.

And reopened them when she felt a heavy weight on her chest.

N was straddling her on her bed.

Certainly a great way to get her heart to stop.

"You need to take it."

"You can't make me."

"Was that a challenge?"

"Maybe it was." The look in her face, despite her racing heart, gave him the proper answer.

He opened the bottle and shook the two pills she was supposed to take daily into his hand.

"What happened to you being nice and kind and respecting my views and personal space?"

"I respect them, but this is for your own good. If you would just take them yourself—"

"Not a chance."

"And this is why I'm forced to do this."

He easily gathered her wrists in one hand, since she was pushing her hands against his chest in attempt to get him off, and pinned them above her head.

A nurse came in to change her sheets, but immediately stepped out.

They were a little too busy to notice.

"Hey, asshole, get off!" She struggled, but she was weak and grew tired easy. Panting a little from her efforts, she glared at him.

"I have the pills right here. I'll let you go if you take them…"

"I'd rather fuck your dad than take those today. You're ruining my happiness."

He grimaced at that. "Why are you being so difficult?" He did his lillipup pout.

She resisted. Her will always dwindled whenever he did things like that, but she was going to fight it this time.

"Then you leave me no choice."

He popped the pills into his mouth and leaned his face in close.

She saw where this was going and her eyes widened. "You wouldn't dare," she growled before she closed her mouth tight, starting to move her head from side to side.

Unfortunately for her, he still had a free hand.

He grabbed her chin with his hand and held her head in place, bringing his lips to hers. He pried her mouth open with his tongue and slid the pills into her mouth.

Her struggle dissolved then and he felt her become weak under him.

Once she swallowed them, their liplock continued a little longer than it should have.

N, realizing this, pulled away. Her face was a furious red and her eyes were shut. When she opened them, there was more ocean blue around her pupil than usual.

Her eyes had dilated.

Noticing that it was over, Touko scowled, hiding her face with a pillow once he let go and rolled off of her.

"I'm… I'm going to leave for a moment. I'll be back."

"You do that."

She kept her face covered even after he left.

One image was burned into her thoughts, no matter how much she tried to think about anything else.

N had been blushing too.

* * *

Touko passed out with the pillow still on her face and she became cranky when someone pulled it off, the sun shining right in her face.

She was woken with a sharp, painful, echoing slap to the face.

"Sit up, whore," Ghetsis hissed, sounding pissed off beyond belief.

She had a hand on her cheek where she was hit, tears forming at the corners of her eyes from the sting.

"So, you think you can seduce my son and get him to take you to see your pokémon? Fool. I know where you sleep. Did you forget that during my two week absence?"

He cackled at the hateful glare she was giving him.

"Though I suppose I should also be thanking you. The closer you get to N, the more it will hurt him when you are snatched away from him. I just don't want you trying to become more than 'friends' with him." He sneered upon saying the very word.

She kept quiet, moving her hand off of her cheek and closing her eyes, wishing him away.

WHAP.

"Keep your eyes open while I'm in your presence, whore. That's rude."

He felt deep satisfaction whenever he inflicted pain unto her.

Beat his son and shame Team Plasma, will you?

Then pay for it dearly.

She cried out this time, hanging her head and putting both hands over her injured cheek, unable to keep herself from sobbing. The only consolation from this was the fact that her thick hair hid her face. Her heart was hurting and she felt a cough starting to burn her throat.

"Weak. You may have beaten my son, but you are still just a weak little girl. I should have killed you off when you beat him at the Dragonspiral Tower. You don't deserve the title of 'Hero'." He sneered at the last word as well.

She started coughing then, putting her hand to her mouth.

Blood. She could feel it. Sticky and wet, all over her hand.

She saw dark spots gathering in the corners of her vision.

When her hand fell to the bed, Ghetsis glanced at it.

An unnerving grin crept onto his face.

"But it looks like I may not have to kill you off after all. Your body is already doing it for you."

He laughed cruelly again.

Her world was growing, another body-wracking cough producing blood upon her hand.

"Your days are numbered."

* * *

"Touko! _Touko!_ Dear Arceus, what happened!"

She woke to a younger, much kinder Ghetsis, grabbing her shoulders and shaking her.

"N?"

She heard a deep sigh of relief. And she felt herself being practically crushed against him.

"You coughed blood again," he murmured in her ear with her gathered up in his arms. "What happened while I was gone?"

He grabbed her shoulders again and pulled her away to an arm's distance, looking her over carefully.

There was an angry red hand print on her left cheek.

"Nothing, don't worry about it."

"It was my father, wasn't it?"

She knew he would ask and she didn't want to trouble him, but there seemed to be no way around it. He already knew, even if she didn't tell him.

"Yes," she murmured reluctantly, contemplating her navel.

When she looked up again, she saw a fury burning in his eyes.

"You can't stay in this room. He was the reason you were upset those two weeks ago, wasn't he? Why didn't you tell me?"

He looked dejected.

It broke her heart.

"I already caused you so many problems; I didn't want to add more." She started to choke up a bit.

"It's never been a problem helping you, Touko. Haven't you realized that already?" He shook his head and touched her injured cheek gently.

She winced.

His anger was ignited once again.

"Are you still tired?"

She could lie again, but she figured once was enough for one day. She nodded truthfully instead.

"Alright. Rest then." He let go of her and she lied back down.

She could swear that he had kissed her forehead before she fell asleep.

* * *

' _I'm definitely not in my hospital bed anymore._ '

The one she felt herself lying on when she was coming to was even more comfortable than the one she had just some time ago.

She wasn't even sure that that was possible.

When her eyes fluttered open, she saw herself in a rather luxurious bed, placed in a huge, beautiful room.

And a particular green-haired fellow staring at her from a chair.

She pushed his face away as usual and rose, inquisitive about where she was. There was still medical equipment near her and on her, but she definitely wasn't in a hospital setting anymore.

"N, where the hell am I?" She already had a guess, but it was better to confirm it.

"… My room. It's the only place my father doesn't check."

She felt a hell of a lot more awkward being in this bed now.

"That's sweet, but what about where you'll sleep? And the doctor. How is he going to visit?"

"I'll figure it out. And Anthea and Concordia will be coming in from now on. They're the only two that I know will keep their word and resist telling Ghetsis anything if he asks about you."

Completely aware now, she saw that the area around his right eye was swollen and bruising.

"Stop getting hurt just to protect me!"

"I'd rather get hurt than having you get hurt."

"Since when the hell were you a martyr! You think you can just take all the pain and it won't hurt me? It hurts me more to see you get beat up for the sake of saving my ass!"

"Touko, calm down."

"No!" She was at a fever pitch now. She wasn't going to stop until she felt like it. "I told you before to just leave me and die, but you _don't listen_! As much as I like living, it's not worth it if I have to see you get abused in the process! If you think it's just okay to take all the pain, than you're _wrong_! This hurts me just as much, if not _more_! If you let me go, I can just go to a hospital in Castelia! I go there all the time! They know what I need! And it would be better for the both of us if I just _left_! You know this! So why, N! Why do you insist on keeping me here when it's just destroying you and stressing you out!"

"Because you're the only friend I have here. I can't stand seeing you get hurt. If I lose you, I'll have nothing."

Her anger was smothered. "Okay."

She grabbed one of his hands and pressed it to her sore cheek, which had been bandaged up while she was sleeping. "Sorry."

"I am too. I didn't know you felt guilty."

"You still have a lot to learn. I suppose that's why I'm here, isn't it?"

She offered him a slight smile, putting his hand down on the bed, but still holding it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Bawwwwww, I'm so sappy. |D
> 
> NO THIS IS NOT WHAT WAS ORIGINALLY HERE. Everything after A Brief Respite and before The Saltwater Room is gone and I'm filling it in with nonsense. c:
> 
> BECAUSE IT'S FUN THAT'S WHY.
> 
> I'm such a spazz.
> 
> "Teach me the way  
> To be humble and good  
> To be quiet when I should  
> To be great"  
> Upstairs - Psapp


	5. Love During Wartime

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME HAVE A CHAPTER FROM MY STUPID 16 YEAR OLD SELF  
> [since doesn't tell you when each chapter was uploaded, this is being uploaded Dec 20, 2014]
> 
> \----
> 
> Bupbup, this is the crappy chapter. It's here because it's the only way to move on with the plot I planned out. Sorry your eyes have to burn.
> 
> But I'm sure you've read worse, right?
> 
> ... I hope so.

As per usual, Touko had a hand to his face and gave her hand a push, all before she even yawned and stretched.

But as she brought her hand to her mouth to smother her yawn, she felt that it was being held by another hand.

Wait, what?

"Before you scream at me, I would like to say, in my defense, that you wouldn't let go of my hand last night."

She screamed anyway.

"Why were you sleeping next to me! You should have brought a bed in here for me!"

It wasn't until she had her little freak out that she processed what he said. "Then you should have just taken your hand back."

"I didn't want to wake you."

Oh dear Arceus.

"Anyway, where's my crap? I assume you moved pretty much everything in here, right?"

He nodded. "Even your bag. It should be at the foot of the bed."

She didn't let go of his hand until she peeled off the covers and had to get the machines off, going over to where he said the bag would be. "I need more pajamas…"

He was in the process of sitting up when he heard her. He then sprang out of the bed and ran out of the room before she could object.

"Dammit, I was sure I said that quietly…" She sighed and put her hands on her hips, closing her eyes and tilting her head down. "That boy, I swear…" She should her head leaning against the food of the bed with her arms crossed now, waiting for him to return.

Upon his arrival, she saw that he had quite a few pairs of pajamas in his arms, beaming with accomplishment. "Here you are. Now excuse me for a moment, I didn't get to do anything before you woke up since you trapped me." He started walking to the bathroom.

"… I don't think so." Touko bounded past him. "I'm using it first."

"No, I don't believe you are," N said, realizing that she was running. So he did the same.

He easily passed her and when she tried to push the door, she collided with it instead. After her "Oof!" was a sharp "click!"

He locked the door.

Panting, she put her back to the door and held the arm that she had attempted to ram the door with. "Bastard. Haven't you ever heard of 'ladies first'?"

"From what I gathered, sometimes that rule doesn't apply between friends. I'm utilizing that now."

Well, _someone_ was getting smart.

"Fine," she grumbled, marching over to the bed and flopping back on it.

When he emerged from the bathroom, Touko immediately sat up, opening her mouth to make a snarky remark at him.

It was lost.

They stared at each other for a moment.

Then her face turned a nice shade of red.

And she put her pillow over her face.

N had come out in nothing but a towel, completely forgetting that Touko was sharing his room since she had become silent after she accepted his victory.

He had to admit: it was pretty entertaining to watch her face change colors like that.

Not so much when his own face was turning the same color, though.

He had made a run for it to his closet, closing the door behind him to save themselves from further embarrassment.

Thank Arceus for that.

Before he could come back out, she beedrill-lined it for the bathroom.

And she groaned when she realized she had left the bag outside after she finished her shower.

' _Oh, come on. Can this morning get any worse?_ ' "N, I left my bag out… can you please hand it to me?"

Adequately dressed now, he went over to where she left it and picked it up, handing it to the arm that was sticking out from the door.

" _This_ is how you come out of the bathroom when there are other people in the next room. _Clothed_ ," she announced when she emerged from the bathroom.

He smiled sheepishly at her and rubbed the back of his head. "Sorry."

"All is forgiven. For now, anyway." She shot him a dark look. "Don't do it again."

"As you always say when something inappropriate is done."

She punched his arm.

He was frowning and she was laughing at his expense when Concordia came in. She smirked a little at seeing the two of them enjoying each other's company.

"Good morning, Master N."

"Good morning indeed, Concordia." He could have done without the awkwardness that started off the morning, though.

He and Touko both, really.

"And to you, Miss Touko."

She nodded once in acknowledgement.

"I'm here to do a check-up on you." The blonde-haired woman went up to Touko and motioned for her to get on the bed. She had a clipboard in hand and she set it next to the trainer. While she wrote down things and made examinations, she spoke to her king.

"Master N. Sage Ghetsis is becoming cross with everyone because he can't find Miss Touko."

"Please, just call me 'Touko'." She felt weird being addressed formally like that.

"As you wish." Concordia bowed her head. "When I asked to leave his presence to come here and see you both, he barraged me with questions. I fear that if we don't find some way to make him believe that Touko is gone, he'll eventually find her in here."

And nobody wanted that.

Nobody currently in the room, anyway.

"It seems this has become a conundrum of sorts," N replied, propping his elbow up on Touko's head and tapping his chin. "This one here likes to go out without warning…"

"Might I make a suggestion, my king?"

He raised an eyebrow at her. Touko moved his arm and grumbled something under her breath about how he needed to keep his body to himself.

"You know of how he doesn't like Touko and would rather see her dead. Well, I propose that we 'kill her' or she 'dies' somehow and we 'bury' the body while he is a witness."

It was a good thing they both understood that she didn't mean it literally.

"I see… this way, it keeps his attention away from you or Anthea and prevents him from even considering checking this room."

"If we're doing make believe, I think we should use Zoroark. It _is_ the master of illusions after all." Touko didn't care how strange her informal speech sound. She wasn't going to talk like a stiff. "I should add that he's hoping for me to die of a heart attack or something like that."

The royal two looked at her with some worry and a bit of puzzlement.

"It's a long story…" The Pokémon trainer cleared her throat and shied away from their stares, wrapping her arms around herself.

"Heart attack, huh?" N thought about this for a second. "Concordia, fetch me my Zoroark. And tell Anthea to come here as well."

"Yes, Master N." She bowed to him before she left the room.

"Wow, you really do sound like a king. It's kind of unsettling."

"Unfortunately, that's the way it is around here. If you hold a place of high importance, you can't speak informally the way you did."

She rolled her eyes and waved him off. "Anyway, about this plan of ours, in order for it to be believable, you have to be the one to show him my 'dead body'. And you have to look absolutely grief-stricken."

"What are you getting at here?"

She held up a finger and went over to the bag of stuff, pulling out a notebook and pen. "I'm so glad I asked for these kinds of things… let's sit down over there." She pointed to a couch against a wall of the room with the pen in her hand.

After she patted the spot next to her and he sat down, she began drawing a diagram.

"Okay, this is what I imagined: Say the Zoroark is posing as me and we put him here, right?" She drew a stick figure with hair. He snickered at the drawing and she elbowed him, continuing with a bruised pride.

"Now, by this point, you should have already notified your father and told him that I died. Then you should bring him through this way," she drew an arrow coming from the left, "so that he can see the little puddle of blood that should be next to 'my' mouth. Hopefully Zoroark can hide his pulse somehow if Ghetsis decides to check it, I don't know.

"Then we have to have a fake burial, but with some way for Zoroark to get out right after it's buried into the ground. Or fake a cremation. Whatever method of disposing 'my body' will please him the most."

She closed the notebook, looking up at him. "So?"

"We should probably plan out the burial now. Hand me your notebook." He held out his hand and she passed it over to him. "Maybe if we do this… and make it seem like we're getting rid of it here if he chooses this…"

Touko glanced over his shoulder and scowled at his diagram. His mapping and drawing skills were far better than hers.

When the door opened again, they both looked up to see Anthea and Concordia, the latter with a pokéball in her hand.

It wasn't until then that they realized how close they were sitting. N cleared his throat and Touko promptly moved away.

"Here you are, my king," the blonde one said, underhand-tossing the pokéball to him. "Anthea is here as well."

"Good, good. If you haven't been informed about what we're up to, Anthea, you'll learn now." N waved them over and got off of the chair, sitting on the floor. "It'll be easier for everyone to see like this."

The other three women sat around him glancing down at the notebook he had scribbled on.

"Touko already came up with a well-thought-out death scene an there are only minor adjustments that need to be made to it. The only thing we really need to work on is a burial. Now…"

* * *

The next week was dodgy, with Anthea and Concordia having to work their way out of question from Ghetsis and avoiding being followed. The four of them slowly got the items they needed together, the process made much easier by the cooperation of Zoroark.

Now that everything was set and ready, the plan was set to go.

And oh, was there pandemonium.

The Zoroark was placed in a hall on the floor with a path leading to an exit of the castle. The scene was made to look like she was running and trying to escape when her heart gave out.

The pokémon was lying on its stomach, as if it fell while running. A fake, small puddle of blood was put next to his open mouth. N pretended to look distraught {courtesy of Touko's harassment to teach him how to act} while his father felt great accomplishment.

Now his son was broken and would be the king he was supposed to be: cold, indifferent, and powerful, with nothing to hold him back.

At least, that's what he thought.

Ghetsis ordered the girl's body to be burned and the ashes tossed out somewhere or to send them to someone who actually gave a damn about her, like her mother.

There was a rather close call with the Zoroark being cremated instead of the substitute they had prepared, but that was just barely solved.

"Let's never plan something like this again," N said, taking off his hat and running a hand through his hair as he walked through the room door.

Touko was reading since she wasn't allowed to leave the room during the plan operation, so she glanced up from her book to see how exhausted he was. "Did something happen?"

"Zoroark was almost burned alive. Luckily, we got to them before they could dump him in the fire."

She frowned a little, but was relieved to hear that everything went according to plan.

"Also, we sent your mother your 'ashes'."

"You _what_!"

Almost according to plan.

"My father said to get rid of them somehow or send it to someone, so we chose the latter… everything was supposed to be believable, so we went with a realistic route."

"So you sent them to my mom." She stared at him for a moment before she shook her head. Speaking of her mom… "Do you have my Xtransceiver?"

"That device that used to be on your wrist? Yes. Why?" He went over to a drawer in the dresser near the bed and pulled it out.

"I should probably call her. I've been here this entire time and I didn't even bother to tell her. She was probably worried sick and now she must be bawling her eyes out." She narrowed her eyes at him and he cleared his throat and glanced down, making is way over to the bed she was sitting on and handing it to her.

She attached the device to her arm and picked the option to call her mom. When she finally answered, Touko got to see her mother falling to pieces. Her hair was a mess, her face was covered in blotches of red from sobbing, and her eyes looked empty.

"Err, Mom?"

"Yes, Touko?"

Pause.

"Touko?" She stared at her daughter in shock, thinking she was seeing a ghost.

"Uhm, I heard you got my ashes… I hope you can tell they're not really mine by the fact that I'm speaking to you right now."

"Is this some kind of cruel prank! I was so worried about you! You disappear for almost a month and then I get those strange Team Plasma men at my door, telling me my daughter is dead!"

"Well, yes, in a way, but it wasn't to prank you… I'm at Team Plasma's castle right now and—"

"Wait, you're _where_!"

N could certainly see where Touko got her personality from now.

" _Mom, can I speak for, like, two seconds!_ "

There was silence.

"Finally, thank Arceus." The trainer shook her head and breathed. "As I was saying, I'm at the Team Plasma castle because I had another episode with my heart. N here," he had hit head on her shoulder, watching this conversation up close," saved me from almost dying because it was pretty bad this time around.

Her mother was glaring daggers at the boy on her shoulder, knowing who he was. "Tell him to get off of you."

"Mom, it's fine. He's not how we thought he was, relax. Anyway, I don't know when I'll be coming back home, but I just want you to know that I'm not really dead. If the news of my 'death' reached Biana, Cheren and Touya, please tell them that it didn't really happen. But you also need to tell them they can't tell a soul. And neither can you."

"… I knew I shouldn't have ever let you become a trainer. It was always just too much for you and now—"

"Mom, please, let's not start this up again…"

"No. I've told you time and time again that—"

She hung up.

"N, get off." She shrugged the shoulder he was on to shake him off. She put her head in her hands and breathed deeply to keep herself from crying.

"What was she talking about?" He asked, looking quite concerned about her current mood.

"Don't worry about it." She slid her hands back so that they were holding up her hair for a few seconds before she dropped them at her sides. "My mom and I don't agree with the path I've chosen is all. We get along most of the time, but when that topic is approached, it gets… nasty." She glanced back at him and gave him a weak, forced smile.

He wasn't buying this façade and she knew he wasn't.

"Look, I don't want to talk about it, alright?"

"Don't friends talk about what's bothering them so that it doesn't burden them anymore?"

"Yeah, well, this isn't up for discussion right now, especially not after I just finished talking to her."

He would respect that.

There was silence again for some time before her Xtransceiver started going off.

"Aren't you going to—?"

She quickly unfastened it from her arm and chucked it at the floor. "No." She knew who it was without looking at it and she really didn't want to fight right now. It made her heart tired.

And that proof was currently audible right now.

"I just… I just want to walk. And maybe see my pokémon. I haven't been out of this damn room for a week. To hell with staying in here anymore." She crawled off of the bed and detached herself from her obligatory dead weight hardware, heading straight for the door.

"Whoa, hold on. You're 'dead', remember?" N just barely caught up to her. Touko had her hand on the doorknob. "You can't just walk out as you please. The halls have cameras." He shook his head. "They have to be disabled first before you can leave."

"Disable them then!" She yanked her arm out of his grip and looked at him impatiently before averting her gaze quickly, facing forward again. After that event with her mother, she was hostile, and she was lashing out at whatever she could.

Unfortunately, with N being the only other person in the room, that was him.

"Touko, relax!" N furrowed his brows and turned her around, grabbing her shoulders. When he examined her face closely, she had tears streaming down her face silently, rolling off of her chin and dousing the collar of her pajamas.

"Well, what are you waiting on!" She shouted, though her voice waivered and cracked in a few places. "Disable them!"

Instead of listen to her, he pulled her into an embrace.

"Let me go, let me go! Disable the cameras!"

But he kept his hold on her, no matter how much she tried to fight him off.

Knowing he knew she was trying to run away from the problem literally, she stopped struggling, putting her head against his chest and bawling.

She sniffled and sobbed things incoherently into his shirt, two fistfuls of the cloth in her hands.

There was a soft knock at the door and N moved himself and the emotional Touko away from it, allowing Anthea to come in.

"Master N, I—" She stopped her message upon seeing the scene before her.

He put a finger to his lips and murmured to the woman, "Disable the cameras from this hallway to the one where we keep pokémon. Turn the one in that room off as well, please."

She bowed silently and left the room.

"Touko?" he asked when he could no longer hear her sniffling and unintelligible shouting.

She wasn't responding.

"… Yes," she muttered at last, pulling away and looking up at him, wiping stray tears with the back of her hands.

"Do you feel better now?" He frowned slightly and put her face between his hands, kneeling down a little so that he was face to face with her.

"A little, yeah. My chest hurts and I'm tired, though." Her eyes were drooping a little, but she was fighting to stay awake. "Sorry about your shirt."

"If it helped you feel better, then it's okay." He chuckled and patted her head. "Tears and spit aren't going to kill me."

"You need to learn how to beat around the bush, you know that?" She leaned forward because she couldn't hold herself up, causing her to press her forehead to his. "You embarrass me more than I would like when you're blunt like that."

"Sorry. I'll try to be more subtle then."

"That's a good boy." She lifted a hand to pat his cheek, then she left her hand there, moving her lips forward and planting a light kiss on his.

She promptly passed out and started falling backwards.

It was a good thing his reflexes kicked in.

' _Friends don't do that, do they?_ ' He remembered something similar happening when she wouldn't take her medicine about a week ago…

… But that wasn't on purpose. When he did that he had an… impulse. It just kind of happened.

And the forehead kiss was just for a show of concern. From what he saw, people did that all the time.

But what Touko did, that was… that was on purpose.

What did it mean? Was it that "more than friends" thing she mentioned weeks ago?

' _I suppose I'll have to ask her when she's awake for once._ '

Since he already had one hand on her back, he used the other to lift her legs, temporarily throwing her over his shoulder so he could pick up her Xtransceiver and open the door.

' _She sleeps like a Snorlax._ ' He chuckled to himself, guessing that that thought was one of those things he probably shouldn't say to her.

* * *

When Touko put her hand out to push a certain someone's face away, she got a pokémon's cry instead.

"Shogun?" She opened her eyes and saw her team around her, with herself lying against Scorch, as well as N kneeling beside her.

"You fell asleep again," N mused, raising an eyebrow at her.

"I'm becoming a narcoleptic, I swear." She hung her head and put a hand to her forehead. "I blame this heart of mine."

"By the way, I brought this… what do you call it? Xtrans…"

"Xtransceiver." She scowled at the device in his hand. "You should have left it where I tossed it. Actually, you should have just thrown it away."

She was still obviously very sore about what happened with her mother.

"Was it still going off while I was asleep?"

"A few times. But it stopped some time ago." He held it out to her and she reluctantly took it from him.

"Well, this thing is not _all_ bad. It takes pictures and gets you to the Entralink and other cool things." Touko tapped on it until she was at the camera, snapping a picture of N, who was kneeling next to her Liepard and Samurott.

He had to blink repeatedly to get his vision to clear. The flash was blinding.

"I take it you don't get your picture taken very often, do you?" She laughed ant sat up, snapping more photos. "You're going to have to get used to it now."

It had cruelty potential and she'd be damned if she wasn't going to abuse it.

"Touko, I'm quite certain you've blinded your entire team. And me," he said after she had taken hundreds of photos within the span of half an hour.

"Oh, come now, the flash isn't that bad. It only lasts for a second or two."

"But you've been taking quite a few pictures." That was a severe understatement.

"Fine, fine. Just one more. With all of us." She motioned for all of her pokémon to gather together. Scorch had to dip its head so that it would be in the shot.

"Now, you stand here and I'll stand here." She placed him so that he was beside Deviant and Shogun. She stood next to him, also beside Geisha and Bolt. Courage was roosting on top of Scorch's head.

"Everyone smile!"

She snapped the photo when her pokémon made their cry. That was their way of cuing her to take the picture {they had been subject to her exploitations many times before}.

Once that picture was saved, she looked back at the group and grinned.

But N could tell that this grin wasn't reaching her heart.

* * *

Night fell and silence loomed within the castle, the spell of sleep overtaking it.

Touko was on one side of the bed and N was on the other; that was the sleeping arrangement they made since he wanted to give his bed to her, but she didn't want to kick him off something that belonged to him.

Their backs were facing each other and their eyes were closed, but neither was sleeping.

She opened her eyes after trying to force herself to sleep for twenty minutes, but to no avail. She sighed heavily and started to trace the pattern on the sheets.

"You're still bothered by what happened earlier today, aren't you?" he asked without moving anything but his lips.

"You read people like you read pokémon."

"Kind of. Humans prove to be a little more difficult to understand." He threw in a soft chuckle for good measure. "You shouldn't let it eat at you like that."

"It's not something I really talk about with anyone, not even Bianca, Cheren, or Touya. And they're my closest friends."

N felt a twang of jealousy when she added that last part, but he put that aside for now.

"The only person I really talk to about it is my mom and you saw how well that turned out," she breathed sarcastically, turning so that she was on her back now, staring at the ceiling.

"How did it start in the first place?"

"When we were young, we would all pretend we were trainers since we obviously weren't the legal age yet. We weren't supposed to leave the town without parents because of the tall grass full of wild pokémon, but Touya had convinced us to run in anyway. He stole some pokéballs from his parents and said it would be an adventure. Who were we to disagree?

"So we walked around in it like idiots until we came across a pokémon. It was a Purrloin. Thinking it was just a harmless little thing, we tried to capture it. But we had no pokémon to weaken it first, so all our attempts failed. We ran out of pokéballs and by this time, the Purrloin was incredibly pissed off." She sighed raggedly and took a deep breath, preparing herself to tell this next part.

"Then the Purrloin started chasing after us to get its revenge and we ran like hell. While we were all running in fear, I felt a sharp pain in my chest and I had to stop, but it was just behind us, so I had to get away. When I tried to run some more, there was a harsh throbbing coming from my heart and it dropped me to the floor. I coughed excessively and blood was just dripping from my mouth. Bianca had been running with me, so when she couldn't see me, she looked for me. She found me lying on the ground, looking like I was going to die there.

"Her scream called Touya and Cheren.

"It also called our parents, who had been looking for us.

"She held onto me, screaming in my ear, telling me to live, hoping the Purrloin woud leave us alone. But, as fate would have it, it didn't. Just as it was about to pounce for us, my mom came with her Stoutland and scared it off.

"She absolutely flipped when she saw my condition." She had her hands over her eyes, willing herself to keep it together.

"Once I was okay, she scolded me like there was no tomorrow. If I wanted to go somewhere, anywhere, she would have to accompany me because she didn't trust my friends or me. And when the time came for me to make my decision of whether I wanted to be a Pokémon trainer or not, there was hell. My mom was furiously against it and we fought for days. Neither of us was going to be happy no matter what I chose, so I went with what I wanted in the first place. The conflict has been going on ever since."

"She had a good reason, you know."

"Yes, but—"

"But you did what you desired rather than what would have kept you safe."

She laughed dryly, feeling her resolve to stay strong crumbling.

"May I?" He asked, turning to face her now.

"Go for it."

He moved over to where she was and wrapped his arms around her, one hand on her back, the other stroking her hair.

She placed her head on the crook of his neck, feeling tears prick her eyes. "I just wish we could stop fighting about it. It never ends."

He rubbed her back, kissing her forehead when she started sniveling, knowing her weeping was starting up again.

When she was knocked out once more from the strain it put on her to cry, he thought over what she had told him, a little astonished to see the similarities between them.

Seems he wasn't the only one with parental problems.

They had more in common than he had originally thought.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Hope you guys got through that alright.
> 
> But now that it's over, we can move on with the plot! ISN'T THAT WONDERFUL? 8D
> 
> "The city's so much better  
> Just stay inside  
> You're better off  
> Dead!"  
> Love During Wartime - The Main Drag


	6. The Saltwater Room

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the note below was from a long time ago so I'm not actually going anywhere lmfao
> 
> \----
> 
> This will be the last chapter for the next couple days. xD I'll be in Europe from the 15th to the 24th, so no uploading anything for me! But when I come back, I promise I'll have some awesome chapters to make up for my absence! n_n
> 
> Disclaimer: I don't own Pokémon.

When Touko woke up this morning, her outstretched hand touched nothing but air.

Her face contorted with confusion, her hand waving around the area to finally make contact with skin.

But there was nothing to touch.

Slowly opening her eyes, she found herself alone on the bed, no N to wake up to.

But she did notice some pink hair in the corner.

"Master N had business to attend to. He said to tell you that you can hit him as much as you want when he gets back."

And she'd be damned if she wasn't going to.

' _He never leaves without telling me,_ ' she thought, frowning and rolling over on the bed so that she was on her stomach, her face in a pillow. "Did he say when he'd be back?"

Anthea shook her head no. Brushing the skirt of the dress she was wearing, the maiden went over to the bed, sitting on the edge of it. "He also asked me to watch over you until he got back. Is there anything you need?"

"Not right now. Thanks though," Touko muffled into the pillow.

Anthea couldn't help but chuckle at the trainer's obvious unhappiness. "Knowing him, he's probably trying to come back here as soon as possible."

She peeked out from the pillow, raising an eyebrow. "You think so?"

"I can't remember the last time he willingly left whichever room you were in without you."

Now that she thought about it, there was hardly a time where N wasn't with her.

"Where is he now?"

"Giving a speech. Many grunts didn't want to admit it, but N was spending more time with you than actually doing what he needed to. He's a month behind with everything he was supposed to be doing."

Touko turned her head so that her face was completely covered by the pillow again.

"Oh, don't feel bad. He doesn't enjoy being a Shuppet and doing things he doesn't agree with against his will for the sake of satisfying his father, so you just gave him an excuse to put it off. But now that you're 'dead', he has no choice but to go back to what he was doing before."

The brunette sighed heavily into the pillow. "I _told_ him to send me back home."

"He's too attached to you to let you go. You should have left the first day you were here."

"I can't tell whether you like me or hate me." Touko lifted her head now, giving Anthea a blank look.

"Both, really." She smirked a little and stretched out her legs. "When you first got here, I was hoping N would save you, regardless of what his father told him to do. And he did. It was rate for him to stand up to his father until you showed up." She waved her hand over the sheets, smiling slightly.

"And you also showed him that keeping pokémon as companions in a pokéball wasn't necessarily a bad thing. But then when you accepted his invitation to become his friend, I knew he wasn't going to leave you alone. But why? I didn't understand how he could become so obsessed with a common girl." She shook her head.

"When N becomes attached to something, he doesn't ever let it go. He becomes possessive, but not in the sense that you're his and no one else's. He just gets jealous. Obsessively so. And it's both endearing and unnerving to see him become that way around you. Though I don't think you've noticed it."

"Truthfully, I've only noticed it once or twice."

Anthea laughed a little. "You must be some kind of special for him to do all of these things just for you."

She blushed a little, hiding her face once again.

"Just try to keep things at a friend level. Anything above that and I just might kill you. He doesn't need to know anything about intimate relationships."

Touko couldn't tell if the woman was joking about her threat or not.

With a little bit of fear, she slowly got up from the bed and muttered, "Mind taking these off me?" She pointed to her obligations.

"Sure."

As soon as she was freed, she skittered to the bathroom, locking the door behind her just in case.

Since she felt too tired to stand, Touko decided to fill up the bathtub that was in the bathroom, treating herself to a bubble bath instead.

She sank down in the arm water and relaxed, her long hair floating around her. ' _It's not so bad being dead,_ ' she thought with an amused smirk.

After spending over half an hour in the water, she reluctantly got up, wrapping a towel around her body and around her hair. She rummaged through her bag, having learned her lesson and leaving it there. She popped the two pills in her mouth and dry swallowed, grimacing at the taste.

"Dammit, I'm out of panties," she muttered when she looked for them, scowling. Sighing, she reluctantly went over to the door and opening it just enough to announce, "Hey, Anthea, do you think you could get me some panties?"

"Anthea left fifteen minutes ago. And I'm not going to call her this time to get it!" N responded as he jogged out of the room.

Oh Arceus, what has she done.

"N, no, don't—!" The door shut and she was left to slam her head against the door, a dire expression on her face. "Anthea's going to kill me, she's going to find out and kill me, why didn't I check first, oh Arceus, why have you forsaken me…"

"I honestly don't understand why you always ask Anthea or Concordia to get you these kinds of things. Are they really so bad that you don't want me touching them?" He stuck his arm through the crack, a stack of panties in hand.

"Yes, yes they are. They have a meaning behind it that you have yet to understand." ' _That you'll_ never _understand._ ' "Same thing with coming out of the bathroom not clothed." She shut the door.

He shrugged and waited until she was out and in her usual attire: pajamas. They were blue with white spots this time.

Compared to the expensive crown and luxurious robe he was wearing and the room they were in, she looked severely out of place.

"You know, I've realized that that's all you've worn since you got here."

"I'm _in here_. I'm not going anywhere. I'm not royalty." She motioned to his apparel. "Why would I ever have to wear anything else?"

He thought about that comment of hers.

"Well, would you want to go somewhere?"

She eyed him suspiciously. "What are you getting at here?"

"It's as you said. You don't go anywhere. You must be sick of having to stay in here all of the time."

"Just a little." She frowned slightly, staring out of the window not too far away. She missed running around in her combat boots, able to feel the wind on her skin, breathing in that fresh, clean air.

"Oh, and this is for not being there when I woke up this morning." She punched his arm.

He rubbed his arm with a frown. "Is there anywhere in particular you wanted to go?"

"Well, I haven't been to the east side of Unova… and I hear Undella's really nice…"

"Then we'll go to Undella." He smiled and took his crown off, placing it on her head. She adjusted it properly, feeling like a queen. "I'll try to see when we can go… my father wants me to catch up with all of the paper work and other things I was supposed to be doing."

"I've heard." She nodded a few times. "I shouldn't have passed out in the throne room, huh? Then you wouldn't have had so much to put up with."

"But then I wouldn't have gotten to have you as a friend."

He had a point there.

"I'll be back soon," he said with a sigh, taking the crown off of her head and putting it back on his own. "I only came to see you for a moment. Anthea will be returning soon."

Touko frowned, following after him as he headed to the door. "I'm starting to think that this fake death thing was a bad idea."

"I'm doing everything I can to finish everything as fast as possible. I don't like this any more than you do, but if we didn't fake your death, you'd be in danger and that would have made things much worse." He sighed, glancing back at her.

"I know, I know." She shook her head. "Anyway, don't worry about me. At least I'll have Anthea to keep me company."

He pouted, that hint of jealousy in his eyes.

Noticing it, Touko smiled up at him. "Calm yourself. She's not going to take over your place."

"I suppose I'll go now," he muttered, feeling a little better now that he received a smile from her.

She waved at him before he shut the door.

Moments later, Anthea reappeared.

"So, panties, huh?" She laughed at the bright red face she earned from the ocean-eyed girl.

"It wasn't on purpose, I swear! I thought you were still in the room, so I asked for them, and then _he_ ends up being in here instead!"

"Relax. I didn't mean it when I made that threat." The pink-haired woman laughed. "I did mean everything else, though. Besides, it's inevitable anyway. I just wanted to see your reaction. You really are an interesting girl, just as he says."

"What the hell are you talking about? What's inevitable?"

"An intimate relationship. I've seen the way you are around him and vice versa. It's adorable, really."

Touko looked absolutely baffled and she didn't know how to respond.

"Aw, how cute. You're too shocked by my approval to speak."

"I'll have you know, we're nothing more than friends! Just because I'm teaching him about things doesn't mean I'm going to let it be _me_ he experiences them with!"

"You're denial isn't helping your case, Miss Touko."

"Just Touko. _Please_. And I'm not denying anything. I'm just telling you the truth." She rolled her eyes and made her way back onto the bed, her back facing the woman once she was lying down.

"Sad. I thought you two made such a cute couple too."

" _Why are we still talking about this_."

"Because I enjoy seeing you squirm over it. But you know I'm not speaking in lies. You feel something for him, but you don't want to admit it."

" _I'm going to read_ ," she said in a hostile tone, refusing to partake in this conversation any longer.

Touko's heart had been feeling worse than usual and that previous discussion did nothing to help her condition. She coughed a few times, but it was nothing serious. It hurt, but it wasn't enough for Anthea to come rushing.

But she did ask if the trainer was alright.

About an hour or so later, she put down her book, glancing over her shoulder at the pink-haired dame. "I'm hungry."

"I was waiting for you to say something. I swear, girls these days, always starving themselves." She chuckled. "I'll be back in a few minutes."

While she was gone, Touko thought about what Anthea had said. ' _What the hell is she on? Gloom fumes? How the hell would N and I end up together? I'm sure he doesn't even like me like that, much less know what it's like to have a sexual desire._ '

" **But you could certainly show him,** " a little voice in her head whispered.

"No, no, no! I don't like him like that! We're _just friends_!" She said aloud, making a fist and hitting it against her forehead. ' _Stupid Anthea, planting thoughts in my head!_ '

" **Are you sure you don't?** " the voice purred, almost tauntingly. " **You seemed to be pretty close to him last night. And don't forget that kiss you gave him.** "

' _I was looking for comfort in the worst way possible, alright? I wasn't exactly in the best of moods, nor was I in the right state of mind. And he was just being nice._ '

" **You seemed pretty disappointed this morning when you didn't find him lying next to you.** "

' _Just because I've gotten used to him being right next to me when I wake up doesn't mean_ anything _. I was just expecting my standard routine. Why are you making up hidden meanings?_ '

" **The real question is: Why do you keep coming up with excuses to defend yourself?** "

She didn't have an answer for that.

When Anthea came back, she set the tray of food on the nightstand near the bed. "Here you are."

Touko didn't feel any better upon hearing her return. She was sure the embarrassment she suffered was clear on her face.

"Thanks," she muttered as she turned around, keeping her head down as she was reaching for the tray.

The benefits of having wild, unruly hair.

The woman looked at the teenager curiously, wondering why she was hiding her face. "Is something wrong?"

"N-no. I'm fine. Really." She peeked out from her hair and gave her a weak smile.

Without warning, Anthea grabbed her arm and held her in place, the other hand on her forehead. "You're pretty warm, but it doesn't seem like you have a cold…" The goddess of love raised an eyebrow with a smirk.

"Whatever you're thinking, that's not it," she retorted, grabbing the tray and turning away from her.

"Who said I was thinking about anything?"

"I'm not stupid, even though I'm a _common girl_. I saw that look on your face. You think you're right. Well I'm going to prove you wrong."

"If you say so." The goddess laughed, going over to the couch and sitting down, making herself appear neat.

* * *

Other than those little disputes, the two ladies didn't interact much. When Touko finished eating, Anthea took the tray and returned it to where it belonged.

She did a check-up on the girl as well, noting that she seemed a little weaker than usual, but otherwise, she was fine.

Touko was teased about that as well.

She defended herself, as one might expect.

When the sun was beginning to set, it was time for Anthea to go.

"Concordia will be looking after you from now until tonight. Don't miss me too much while I'm gone, okay?" She winked.

The Pokémon trainer stuck her tongue out at her like a bratty child.

The goddess laughed aloud before she was on her way.

There was some downtime before Concordia showed up.

"Is Anthea always like that?" Touko asked exasperatedly, frowning.

"Only when she's comfortable with you or she doesn't have to be formal, yes." The blonde woman smiled. "I take it she gave you a hard time since you're asking?"

" _Just a little bit_ ," she grumbled, combing her hair with her hand.

"Forgive her. She doesn't mean you any harm, though. It's all in good fun." She had a close-eyed smile this time, waving the brunette's comment off. "Oh, and Master N told me to give you a message. He's sorry that this is taking longer than he anticipated and he'll definitely make it up to you later."

She shook her head. He didn't seem to understand that none of this was his fault, did he?

"Thanks," she said instead of voicing what her true thoughts were.

"It's no trouble at all." Concordia bowed politely. "The same rule applies for me as it did Anthea. If you need anything, just tell me what it is and I'll get it for you." The goddess of peace smiled warmly before going over to the couch and sitting down.

Touko went back to reading, but her mind would stray elsewhere at times. She was thinking about things in general: what Anthea had planted in her head, how she got into this castle in the first place, how natural it seemed to N to care for a friend like this.

She hadn't expected for him to catch on so quickly.

Though there _were_ some things he definitely needed to work on.

" **You're thinking about him again,** " the voice tormented. " **You sure it's not like that?** "

That little murmur was getting annoying. Sometimes she thought it would be better if she didn't have a conscience.

" **Do you really think you could resist those eyes?** "

This voice knew just which buttons to press, didn't it?

"Concordia, can I talk to you about something?"

"Of course, anything." She tilted her head to the side curiously.

"How do you feel about this whole… situation? Like, with me being here and 'stealing away your king' and all that?"

The goddess thought about this for a moment.

"Well, when you came by that room in the castle when you first came here, I was hoping you would be the one to show N the error of his ways. And you managed to do just that."

Seemed a lot more people didn't like that liberation idea at Team Plasma than she thought.

"But I certainly wasn't expecting N to want you to stay and for you to become his friend, and that you would accept his offer."

Was she going to express her dislike for her too?

"I wasn't sure how I felt about it, so I decided to wait and see. But when I saw how well you two got along and how much happier he looked, I knew that you were good for him."

Did she _really_ have to use that term?

"And I have to say, the fake death was quite fun, even though Zoroark was almost cooked."

"Hm," was all Touko replied with, duly noting all that Concordia had said.

"May I ask why you were asking?"

"Anthea was teasing me earlier about how I like mrmfph…" she started to mumble the rest, her face flushing again.

"I'm sorry?"

"About how I probably… like… N." She kept her head down and glanced off to the side, clearing her throat.

"Ah, well, I never thought of that… but if it happens, I won't object to it. Though you might have a bit of difficulty trying to get him to understand how it works." She laughed softly.

N couldn't be _that_ oblivious.

"Well, if you truly love him, then by all means, do as you desire. I see no problem with it. And if you weren't 'dead', it would have certainly made me happy to see Ghetsis upset and N make a stand for himself some more. His father needs to get what he deserves." She looked a little angry and passionate with fury when she talked about Ghetsis.

"Thank you." The trainer was surprised to hear this from the woman.

"No problem at all. Thank you for letting me speak freely."

' _Talk about completely different personalities… Anthea is so brash while Concordia is so… timid._ Way _too timid_.' "You're really sweet, you know that?"

"So I've been told. You're not too bad yourself." She smiled warmly. "Think you have room for more friends?"

"I don't see why not."

* * *

Unlike with Anthea, Touko chatted quite a bit with Concordia.

Maybe it was because she was very much like Bianca. Her blonde, klutzy friend was just as sweet, if not sweeter.

She ate once more when the sun was down and chatted some more. When night came around, Concordia did a check-up before the trainer decided to go back to reading.

By the time Touko was asleep it was already past midnight, with not one sign of N since that morning.

Concordia was getting tired herself.

When the king finally came through the door, he saw the blonde yawn and try to rub the sleep from her eyes while the brunette's shoulders rose and fell steadily.

"Thank you, Concordia," he said with a short, respectful bow.

"Ah, Master N, I didn't even realize you came in. It was my pleasure to watch Touko for you." She stood up and bowed back, walking to the door.

"Good night, Concordia."

"Good night, my lord."

After the door shut, he shook off the robe and tossed it on the couch, putting the crown on top of it.

When he climbed onto the bed, he lied down in front of her, watching her sleep for a moment. "Sorry I came back so late," he murmured, putting a hand on her cheek.

He frowned slightly when he felt that she was warmer than usual, but there was no increased heart rate or blush.

He looked over at the check-up clipboard on the nightstand and read that she was a little weaker than usual, but otherwise, she was fine.

N couldn't figure out why, but he felt a little worried.

' _I'm sure there's a valid explanation for it. I won't concern them with a little suspicion of mine unless she shows a sign other than that…_ '

She started to move a little, making herself comfortable. He grabbed hold of her, arms tight around her, cradling her protectively.

"N…?" She murmured in her sleep, his scent filling her nose when she was pulled close. She mumbled some more things before she scooted closer to him, sighing contently before she stopped moving.

He really should ask her what all of this meant.

Well, whatever it meant, it felt nice.

* * *

Every morning since the one he said they would go to Undella, Touko harassed him, repeatedly questioning when they would go.

And each morning, he would take her face in his hands and look at her straight in the eye, saying, "Soon. I promise."

That motion seemed to be enough to get her persistent pestering to stop for the day.

The "soon" wasn't until two weeks later, when N finally caught up with all he had to do.

Anthea and Concordia had been notified of this, so they bought Touko a sundress, appropriate for the location they were going to.

The problem lied in trying to get the brunette to wear it.

"What's wrong with the clothes I wore before I started staying here?" She complained, backed into a corner by Anthea.

"Are you kidding me? Those shorts and that tank-top best combo? I don't think so. You're wearing this." She shoved the sundress at the girl.

Ultimately, she had no choice. Reluctantly, she put it on.

"Good girl." The goddess of love laughed and patted the embarrassed girl's head. "It looks nice on you. Leave your hair down like that, but brush it a little." She moved out of the way so that Touko wasn't cornered anymore.

She obeyed, knowing that, with her here instead of Concordia, she was going to be forced to do things.

N came in sometime later in his casual attire. Beholding the spectacle that was Touko, he raised an eyebrow.

He wasn't sure what it was, but he felt something when he saw her dressed like that.

And his face couldn't help but color itself a little.

"Looks like your date is here," Anthea muttered to her with a snicker. "Good afternoon, Master N." She bowed.

"It's not a date," she growled in response, looking tentatively over at N as she was brushing her hair. "I'll be done in a second."

When she finished, she walked up to him, keeping her head down. "Alright. I'm ready."

He nodded, then looked to Anthea. "Are the cameras off?"

She nodded.

He took Touko's hand and led her down the halls, glancing back at her every so often to make sure she wasn't tired from walking.

She still had her head down.

"Is something wrong?" he asked, stopping and looking at her with a slight frown.

"No, of course not!" she said, looking up then. When she saw those emerald eyes on her, however, she quickly glanced down shyly.

He unconsciously tucked a hair behind her hair, moving close to her face, showing concern.

An awkward silence befell them.

He cleared his throat and continued walking with her.

When they reached an exit, he opened a door, looking back at her to see her reaction.

"Scorch!" she exclaimed, her hand sliding out of his as she went to cuddle her companion.

The Dragon-type pokémon ducked its head down, humming happily when she hugged his muzzle.

"Your Reshiram will be taking us to Undella." He dug into his pocket and tossed her the pokéball.

She beamed brighter than before.

"Is there something wrong?" She asked a few moments later, looking around her person, having noticed him staring intensely at her.

He didn't realize what he was doing until after she said something. "Hm? Oh, no, you're beautiful."

Both of their faces flushed.

N had no idea why he was blushing, but for some reason, he reacted in such a way, feeling it fit for this situation.

Touko, on the other hand, knew exactly why her face was acting the way it was. And she wished it didn't.

' _Stupid Anthea. Stupid emotions._ '

"We should go…" she muttered, letting go of her pokémon and walking to the heat generator it had for a tail, climbing up on that before she made her way to its back, holding onto the fur.

N joined her, sitting behind her and putting his arms around her.

She bit her bottom lip, hoping her heart wasn't as audible as she thought it was.

When they reached Undella, N was the first to jump off of the pokémon, holding a hand out to help Touko get down.

Once the Reshiram was in its pokéball, they looked around, seeing hardly anyone. It was spring, so there weren't many beach-goers around this time of year, which was good for them.

They didn't exactly need anyone recognizing N.

Touko took a deep breath of the salty sea air, closing her eyes wistfully. "Ah, the sea… there's a sea route near my hometown, but it's not nearly as nice a quaint like here." She took off her sandals and buried her toes in the sand. "I've missed the outside so much…"

He watched her during that moment, entranced with what she was doing.

When she reopened her eyes, she picked up her sandals, starting to run along the coastline.

"Come on! Haven't you ever been the beach before?"

N chuckled, running after her.

* * *

As the sun was setting, they were walking along the beach again, near the water.

N had his pants rolled up since she had decided earlier to tread into the water and splash him, starting a water fight.

Now they were on the wet sand, watching the waves come in and wash away their footprints.

"Touko, I have a question for you," he commented, looking out on the horizon.

"Hm?" She looked away from the ocean and up at him.

"What did that kiss mean? The one you gave me when your mother was upset with you?" He looked at her now, raising an eyebrow.

"Uhm, well, i-it was, uhm…" She glanced away from him and scratched her cheek lightly with her finger, looking to the sand, hoping a good lie would etch itself in the grains.

"I-it was an accident when I kissed you," she stammered. "But usually when someone kisses you like that, it means they have a different kind of affection for you."

"I don't follow."

Arceus, this was awkward.

"Erm, well, when you're friends with someone, you have a certain type of affection for them. But what I'm talking about is different. You know that 'more than friends' thing I think I mentioned once? It's that. When two friends start to feel more affection for each other, it's no longer at just a friend relationship."

Both eyebrows were raised now as he tried to follow along with this lesson.

"Okay, say friendship is here." She laid her hand flat in the air and put it at chest level. "When the friends feel a different kind of affection for each other, it's here." Her hand was at neck level now. "They can call each other 'boyfriend' and 'girlfriend and do… uhm… intimate things."

"Intimate?"

"Like kissing and holding hands and mprmpfh…" She was doing that trailing off with unintelligible speech again.

"Touko, I can't hear a thing you're saying."

' _That's the point._ ' "They do things like kissing and holding hands and they get really touchy and all that," she said quickly, feeling the heat rush to her face.

N, on the other hand, looked absolutely intrigued, though, at the same time, he was trying to sort out what he felt for Touko…

… Because, well, they already did the kinds of things she described. But there was that thing about returned feelings…

"And then, above that level is the spousal level," she continued, hoping that the talking would distract him from her reddening face if he looked her way. Her hand was at eye level now. "They do the same things as the level below then, only, they're more devoted to each other, you could say."

"So what level are we?"

"Uhm, well, I really can't say for sure, I was pretty sure we were at the friend level but now I really can't say," she muttered.

"Well what if I said I'd rather we be on that second one?"

She stopped walking and stared at him in bewilderment, wondering how he could just come right out and say that.

He stopped just a few steps in front of her and looked back at her, seeing the color on her face.

His face had a little bit of that color too.

"From what you described, we've already done those kinds of things and the feelings that you described that the two feel for each other, I think that's how I feel now and—"

"Wait, wait, wait. Back up. What feelings are you talking about? Describe what it's like and when they happen."

"For example, when we were about to leave and you were grinning when you saw your Reshiram… I felt like I wanted to see you smile like that more. And when you were crying after you spoke with your mother, I didn't want to see you in that kind of pain again. Which is why I hugged you."

Touko's eyebrows raised at his confessions and she kept her eyes down, watching the waves lick her feet during the silence that ensued.

"But you said that the feelings had to be reciprocated for it to be that kind of a relationship." He frowned slightly and his eyebrows furrowed, unsure of how to feel about her lack of a response.

"I… they _are_ reciprocated," she mumbled at last, looking up at him and smirking shyly, using a hand to pull her hair away from her face. "I guess this puts us in that second kind of relationship now, doesn't it?" She laughed a little and closed the distance between them, putting a hand tenderly on his cheek.

He grinned down at her.

She mirrored it.

* * *

Touko was sitting on the bed with her legs under her, back in her normal garb: nice, comfy pajamas.

N was lying down with his head on her lap, looking up at her.

When they had gotten back from Undella, they cleaned themselves {separately} to get the beach out of their every orifice and inch of skin.

"I have a question for _you_ , N," she said, one hand holding his while the other was on his cheek. "When I first came to the castle, there was this room the one of the Shadow Triad guys said I should see, a child's room, with this soft, music box-like song playing… it sounded vaguely familiar… what was that song?"

He let go of her hand and rolled off of the bed, going over to the nightstand and pulling out a wrinkled, aged piece of paper. Handing it to her after his head was back on her lap, he said, "it was an instrumental of the nursery rhyme my mother used to sing to me when I was younger."

"Your mother?" She looked at him in surprise. "If you don't mind me asking, what happened to her?"

"I couldn't tell you. She… disappeared one day and I've never seen her since." He frowned a little, but shrugged it off otherwise.

"Hey, I know this nursery rhyme!" she exclaimed after looking it over. "That's why it sounded so familiar."

"Do you really? Do you think you could sing it?"

She glanced away from him for a moment, blushing slightly and muttering something about how her singing wasn't all that great.

"Touko." He looked at her for just a moment.

She gave up right when his eyes met hers. "Alright, fine," she grumbled, though she had a little smile on her face.

Craning her neck down so that her hair was draping the both of their faces, she put both hands on either side of his face, singing:

_"When you're tired, weary, worn down with age_

_When all of your memories begin to fade_

_Your world of white now stained with black_

_Your labored breaths ne'er to come back_

_The best wishes of others now obsolete_

_The lull of rest now what you seek_

_If all of this is said and done_

_It's time you sing your Swanna song_ "

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: The song doesn't EXACTLY fit the tune that N's Room plays, but with a slight variation to the tune it does. I'll explain how it should go some other time, it's not important right now. xD
> 
> Someone should totally draw royally-dressed N carrying a stack of panties around the hallways. |D
> 
> "Time together is just never quite enough  
> When we're apart, what ever are you thinking of?  
> What will it take to make or break this hint of love?  
> So tell me, darling, do you wish we'd fall in love?  
> All the time"
> 
> Owl City - The Saltwater Room
> 
> \----
> 
> author's note
> 
> so uhm
> 
> remember that this was from a long time ago
> 
> so that on behalf of the person I'm about to embarrass along with myself will not be as embarrassed bc we were both young...
> 
> so someone actually kinda drew that suggestion up there... if you want to see it, the link will be on my profile haha...
> 
> {stealth 2016 note: the link to the fanart is on my ff.net profile if you... really care that much to see it lmao...}
> 
> ugh I'm cringing so much u_u;;;;;


	7. Pavlove

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> casually forgets to update a story that has already been prewritten years ago
> 
> also again I went to Europe years ago; that is a very old AN lol
> 
> \----
> 
> Hey guys! I'm back from Europe! It was awesome. n_n I wrote this entire chapter on the ten hour flight back. Hopefully the change of air pressure and all that didn't interfere with my ability to think sanely and make this chapter sound absolutely nonsensical and terrible. xD

"Touko, wake up! Quickly! Get up and hide somewhere!"

Well this was a nice awakening.

"For what?" She moaned unhappily, rolling away from the hand that was shaking her.

"My father is coming."

That was all N had to say to get her to throw aside the covers, roll off of the bed, and drop to the floor, crawling under the bed. It was the first place she thought of to hide.

It didn't even occur to her that she must have already been disconnected before she woke up until she was hiding.

N breathed only a tad bit easier when he couldn't see her, jogging up to the door. There was some knocking at the door before he opened it.

Ghetsis opened his mouth to say something to his son, but no words came out as he looked past him, seeing Touko's medical equipment there.

"What is that garbage doing in here? I thought she was dead."

"Err, she is. I'm keeping it because it reminds me of her. She was a good friend."

Lying was hard. He didn't understand how people did it all the time.

His father looked at him with disgust. "She's gone now, get over her. The next time I come in here, it better be gone. Now, as for the real reason I'm here."

N knew where this was going.

"Why weren't you at the meeting yesterday? As king of Team Plasma, you must fulfill your duties. Why was this one not fulfilled?"

"I—"

"Excuses are useless. You knew what you needed to do, but you failed to get it done."

Touko could hear the sharp sound of a hand slapping skin.

It made her furious.

"The next time you fail to show—" Ghetsis cut himself off upon hearing a cough come from inside the room.

Her heart was beating as fast as it possibly could and her throat burned with the urge to cough some more, but she suppressed them, albeit painfully.

"N, what was that noise?"

"What noi—"

"Don't play stupid with me, boy. I know you heard it," he barked, glaring hatefully at his son. "Move."

He shoved him aside and began to look around the room, starting with the couch.

"Sounds like we have a little ratatta in our midst… you don't happen to _know_ the person who let them in, do you? Or maybe you _are_ that person?"

N shook his head no, though he was more tense than he had been earlier. Especially now that there was a possibility of his father finding Touko.

"Then a spy of the international police, maybe? They don't seem like a very good spy if they cough like that and allow themselves to be caught so easily."

Ghetsis was now making his way to the bathroom. The sound hadn't come from there, but he was checking just to be sure.

"Father, I really don't believe that anyone is in here but us. Are you sure you heard something?"

"Are you questioning me, boy?" The Sage snarled, whipping his head to look at the king. "I know what I heard. You are already on eggshells. It would be wise of you to tread carefully."

Now Ghetsis was making his way over to the bed. Touko could see his shoes slowly shuffling their way closer.

And she began to panic.

As soundlessly as she could, she crawled on her stomach to the middle of the floor under the bed, moving things around to hide herself.

Just then, light poured in, the skirt of the bed having been lifted.

Both N and Touko held their breaths, with her biting her lip hard enough to draw blood.

"Hm. Seems like the little ratatta got away." The Sage dropped the skirt and looked to his son. "I expect you to keep your eyes open. And don't ever miss any other meetings again, or the consequences will be dire."

His father left then, shutting the door rather loudly behind him.

Touko waited for a minute or two before she emerged, scrambling to get to N.

"How did you know he was coming?" She asked after clearing her throat, trying to get the burning sensation out.

"Concordia came running here to tell me. I don't know how she knew, but I'm glad she did." He grabbed hold of her hand and held it tight, a concerned look on his face.

"Calm down. I'm fine and he didn't see me. Hopefully he doesn't come back like he said he would." She then put a hand on his cheek, swallowing her pride, on the one with the imprint of where Ghetsis slapped him. "Why didn't you stand up for yourself? And first of all, why did you skip a meeting just to go to Undella with me?"

"I couldn't. I may be king, but truthfully, he has more power than I do. And I'd rather get hurt a million times over before I choose to attend one of those instead of going to Undella with you." N shook his head and shrugged, seeming pretty indifferent about the things that he endures.

Touko pulled his face close, staring into his eyes. "You're the king. You do as you please. You don't have to take that from him."

Then she realized how close she had pulled him.

She promptly let go and stepped back, clearing her throat again and blushing slightly, glancing off to the side.

"I rather liked how close you were." He grabbed her by the waist so that she was against him, leaning down and putting his forehead against hers. "Is this not what couples do?"

"Don't change the subject," she grumbled, unable to meet those light emerald eyes, which were currently dancing playfully. "Distracting me with trying to learn more about couples isn't going to work."

"But there's still so much more you have to teach me." N pouted, noticing that she wasn't meeting his gaze.

"We weren't talking about that, now were we? Besides, this is just as new to me as it is to you."

He gave her a confused look. "What do you mean? You don't know what it's like to be in a relationship with someone? How can you teach me about something you've never experienced?"

"You don't have to have gone through something to teach someone about it. Like s—" She cut herself off then, realizing that he probably didn't know anything about that and that he would ask about how it works.

Upon further thoughts about that action and _with him_ , her face flushed some more.

"Like what?" He tilted his head to the side, questions in his eyes.

"Nothing, don't worry about it." She put her hands on his chest and attempted to push him away, but he just wrapped both arms around her waist now.

"Tell me."

"Some other time. Don't you have kingly duties to do, or something?" She sounded distressed, looking down now. If she looked at his pleading eyes, she would lose her will.

He scowled at the mention of his job. "Fine, I guess I should be going now then."

But instead of letting go of her, he put his hands on either side of her face and pulled her lips to his, giving her a chaste kiss.

She stared at him in shock for quite a while after he pulled away before she was able to speak. "What—did you just—why did you—"

"Isn't that another thing that couples do?" He asked her, looking rather pleased with himself.

"Yes, but I didn't think you would just take charge and _kiss me_!" Touko ran a hand through her hair, unable to think of what to do after he did this.

N frowned now, under the impression that she was irritated with the kiss he gave her. "Was I not supposed to do that? Do you not want me to kiss you anymore?"

"N-no, it's fine, I-I just… wasn't expecting it, that's all," she mumbled, embarrassed to be saying that aloud. She felt as if she was admitting that she liked it.

If he asked, she wouldn't tell him.

"So it's okay then?"

"Uhm, well, yeah…"

He beamed.

She blushed.

"You… you should be going now. Before Ghetsis comes back or something." She peeled his arms off from around her and turned him around, shoving him to the room door. "Off you go!"

"I'll be back as soon as I can." He turned around again to look at her now that they were at the door.

She opened the door for him, pushing him through it. "And I'll be here, as always." She waved at him.

As she was about to close the door, he grabbed the hand she waved at him with and pulled her in for another kiss, still as chaste as the first one he gave her.

She closed the door right after to hide her flushed face from him.

' _You know, for a beginner, he kisses rather well. With some practice, he could be great._ '

She slapped herself for having such a thought.

' _No. I'm keeping things at first base. There's no need for me to take it any further than that._ '

" **You won't be saying that for long, honey.** "

Stupid conscience.

She went over to the bed, flopping down on it and wiggling over so that she could bury her face in a pillow.

' _Please don't let it be Anthea that comes in… I really don't think I could—_ '

"So, kissing, huh?"

' _Speak of the weavile and she shall appear._ '

Touko groaned into her pillow, pulling the sheet over her head and muttering muffled swears.

"I saw that kiss he gave you before he left. So what was all that talk about how you two would never have that kind of relationship?"

The trainer flicked her off after uncovering her hand from under the sheet.

"Oh come now, don't be like that." Anthea tutted and shook her head. "I'm just poking a little fun." She went up to the bed and sat down on it, crossing her legs. "So when did you two become official?"

"Mm mop tewing moo amyfing."

"Can't hear you, dear."

She lifted her head from the pillow. "I'm not telling you anything." She coughed a few times, placing a hand over her heart.

"And why not? I think I have the right to know. He's my king after all."

Silence.

"I'm going to go shower," Touko declared after a few minutes, emerging from her cocoon and shuffling over to the bathroom.

When she stepped out of the bathroom some time later, she jumped upon seeing Anthea standing in front of her, arms crossed. "I'll force it out of you if I have to."

The brunette ignored her and walked past, flopping onto her bed and making herself comfortable. "I'm taking a nap."

"You're not doing anything until you tell me."

" _Is it really that important_?"

"Yes."

Touko threw her hands in the air in frustration, groaning loudly. "Fine! Fine." She sat up, staring at her legs. "It was at Undella," she grumbled, speaking quietly now.

"I know you can speak louder than that, dear."

"It was at Undella!"

"That's better." The goddess of love smirked.

The trainer rolled her eyes. "There. I told you. Satisfied?"

"Not really. I want details!"

There was some jaw-clenching and muttering of swears through barred teeth.

"The details are unimportant."

"Like hell they are. Tell me."

"Dammit, Anthea! You're so nosy!" The blue-eyed girl was becoming quite flustered at this point.

"Yes, yes I am. So are you going to tell me or not?"

"I don't really have a choice, do I?"

"No, I suppose you don't." The woman laughed.

Touko threw her hands up again before shaking her head, giving up.

"N and I were walking along the beach around the time the sun was setting—"

"Aw, this sounds like a cheesy romance novel already!"

" _Look, do you want to hear this story or not_?" The ocean-eyed girl growled, the pupils dark pools of agitation.

"Okay, okay, I'll stop." She chuckled.

"Thank you. So the sun was setting and he asked me what it meant when I mrpmfph…"

"Touko, you're mumbling."

She put her face in her hands to cover her shyness.

"He asked you what it meant when you…?" She motioned with her hand for the teenager to continue.

"He asked me when it meant when I kimrmfph…"

"If you don't tell me, I'm going to assume you had sex with him or something."

She kept her face covered, feeling her skin heat up under her hands. The very thought of that left her in a state of bashfulness.

But that wasn't to say she hadn't thought about it before.

"So you slept with him, _then_ you decided to date him? You're a strange one."

"I only kissed him!" she shouted defensively, looking up to glare at her before glancing down again.

"Ah, so you kissed him prior to this. So he asked you about it and?"

"So I explained to him what it means and the basic levels of relationships and he asked me which one we were at and I said I didn't know and he said he wanted to be at the dating level so I said okay and here we are," she said in one breath, her eyes having been shut tight.

Anthea needed a minute to process all of that since she spoke so quickly. "Hold on. So it's official, right?"

She nodded.

"So now you're teaching him about romantic love?"

There was more nodding.

"Aw, that's so cute! My little Touko is in love with my king! It really is like a novel! A king falls in love with a common girl and his father forbids it, and yet the two lovers are adamant about keeping their relationship intact and—"

"It's not exactly like that, so please stop. And maybe you should think about laying off the romance novels for a while."

"It's close enough." The pink-haired lady laughed.

" _I'm going to sleep_." Touko shot one last glare at Anthea before she lied down again, covering her head with the sheet once more.

"Don't dream about anything provocative with your new boyfriend now!"

She flicked her off one last time.

* * *

Touko awoke with a start, sitting up quickly and ramming her forehead into someone else's.

" _Ow_ ," both people complained, rubbing their foreheads.

"And this is why you shouldn't always put your face so close to mine," she sighed, looking up at the tall, lanky teen standing beside the bed.

"But you look so peaceful when you sleep. And you always say the most interesting things." He chuckled while she shook her head.

She couldn't complain about it anymore since he kind of had the right to now.

"Anyway, aren't you supposed to be busy right now? You usually don't show up until the dead of night." She stole his crown and put it on her own head after he sat down beside her.

"I wanted to visit you for a few minutes." He frowned slightly. "Since I'm seeing you less and less these days."

"Tell me about it." She shook her head again. "Anthea and Concordia are slowly taking over your spot in my life."

He scowled at her, grabbing her by the waist. "They can't be. You're mine."

"Calm down, N. It was a joke." She pushed him away gently, having had enough embarrassment for one day.

"I'll believe you. Oh, and speaking of Anthea, she wanted me to give you these after she left when I came in."

"… Oh dear Arceus."

N had gone over to the nightstand on her side of the bed and pulled out a lace braw and a matching pair of lace panties.

"I'm going to kill that woman," she growled under her breath.

"You're going to what?"

"I'm going to _thank her profusely_ ," she said with a smile, though the words were filtered through clenched teeth. "Now give me those." She snatched the undergarments out of his hand and sat on them.

He looked at her strangely, but he decided not to question it this time.

Touko muttered to herself some more before she sighed loudly, placing the crown back on his head. "I really think you should get going now. I'll see you later tonight or something."

He nodded and leaned down, kissing her good-bye before getting up and leaving the room.

"Stupid boy who doesn't know the first thing about romance."

" **And this is why you're here to teach him.** "

She wasn't going to bother fighting back this time.

Concordia came in some tine mater, waving and greeting her friend with a warm smile. "I see that Ghetsis didn't get to you. That's a relief."

The brunette nodded. "It's all thanks to you, though. If you hadn't told N, I would have _really_ died."

"I don't know what I would do if I heard about that instead. Though, I have to say, I'd be more afraid of what King N would do."

There was a slight pause with the both of them pondering about that comment mentally "While we're on the topic of King N, I hear that you two are dating now."

Touko didn't mind talking about this with Concordia, but she still ran a hand through her hair regardless.

"Anthea already told me about what you told her, so don't worry about having to explain yourself a second time." The blonde chuckled a little. "But I hear you've kissed him before?"

She just nodded in reply.

"I'm glad. I don't think there's any other person suitable for him than you. And if Ghetsis knew, I'd be all the more for it." A dark, smug look appeared on her face before it swiftly cleared.

The Pokémon trainer was pretty sure she should be more afraid of Concordia than Anthea at this point. That expression was just frightening.

"I do fear it may not be safe for you to stay here much longer, though. Today was the first time Ghetsis has ever been in this room and I'm certain that it won't be the last." The side of her mouth formed a slant. "I would like for you to stay, as I'm sure Anthea and King N would, but it should not be at the risk of your life."

Touko nodded again. "It was a pretty close call this morning. But I don't think N would even think once about letting me go."

"And that's where the problem lies." Concordia shook her head with her eyes closed. "If anything, the only way for you to leave is to escape while he's away."

She didn't like where this was going.

"I can see you're not too pleased with the idea. I expected that. You're especially not considering it now, I presume, with your relationship with him just starting. I'd hate for you to leave as well, but it's too dangerous for you to stay here."

"Stop."

"It wouldn't be too difficult. We would just have to find an appropriate exit and disable the cameras for a few minutes while—"

"Concordia, _stop_. I don't want to talk about this anymore." Touko had her hands over her ears, her expression distressed as she closed her eyes tight as well.

She knew when a conversation was ending, so she quieted then, nodding only once in respect. "As you wish."

* * *

"Touko! Touko, are you up now? Touko!"

"What, what? Is Ghetsis coming again?" She asked with a gravelly voice, unhappy about being woken up.

"No, no one's coming."

"Then why the hell are you waking me up at…," she reluctantly opened her eyes, glancing over at the clock on the nightstand, " _fucking two in the morning_?"

Touko was now cross with N and it was quite easy to sense.

"Sorry." He looked at her apologetically.

Now that she was looking at him, she saw that he was sitting right next to her, leaning over her, with one hand next to the right side of her waist.

This dating thing was harder to get used to than she thought it would be.

"Well, you see, I've noticed that the only time I can really spend time with you is in the morning."

" _This early_?"

"Unfortunately, I do believe so."

She sighed and motioned for him to sit up straight so that she could as well. "Okay, so now what?"

N looked at her expectantly.

"… Right. Okay, so the first thing you should know is that boyfriends _do not watch their girlfriends sleep two inches in front of their faces and wake them up at two a.m. unless it's an emergency_."

He became visibly distraught over this.

"… But I guess we can make an exception for you." She shook her head, muttering how she was in love with some crazy boy. "So, moving on, kissing, as I've said before, is a normal thing for couples to do. You seem to have that down."

He smirked a little.

She cleared her throat.

"Don't get too proud of yourself just yet. You still have much to learn. Like what I'm about to tell you now."

He raised an eyebrow at her, listening closely now so that he didn't miss a word she said.

"Couples also kiss each other in places like the forehead, which you've done before, the cheek, the neck, the shoulder, the collarbone, and anywhere else deemed appropriate." She pointed to each one on herself that she named specifically."

"Why in other places, though?" He asked, curiosity filling his eyes.

"Because it mrmphfm…" She had to look away from him now. This wouldn't have been as hard to explain if it weren't for the fact that she knew he was going to try this out on her later.

"You mumble quite a bit, Touko. It's always very hard to hear what you say."

She scowled, pushing her hair away from her face. "So I've been told." She had to take a deep breath before she summoned the courage to say it aloud. "Because it's sensual and it feels nice."

"… But you don't actually know because it's never happened to you, correct?"

"Just take my word for it, alright?" She gave him a weak glare. Her heart was bouncing off the walls of her ribcage.

"Alright, alright. Continue, please."

Touko worked her jaw for a moment before she did. "Okay. Couples also always touch each other often too. A common thing to do is, when kissing, a hand is placed somewhere, or an arm is around a waist or neck, things like that."

N nodded as if he were a student taking notes.

"You've already started doing that, so I don't need to point." She blew at a hair that was in her face, looking up at it to avoid his gaze. "I think we can stop there for today."

"Hm… so, when kissing, an arm can be around a waist." He did just that, smiling a little when he saw the shock on her face.

"And it is permitted for you to kiss other places like the forehead,"

kiss,

"cheek,"

kiss,

"neck,"

kiss,

"shoulder, collarbone, and anywhere else deemed appropriate."

Kiss, kiss, kiss.

"Like so, correct?" He grinned at her, putting his hand on her cheek, sweeping her hair away.

"Err, yes…," she murmured, covering her mouth with her hand and coughing a little.

"Are you okay? Should I not have done that? Was it taxing on your heart?" His expression changed to one of concern now.

"No, no, I'm fine. You… you did all of that correctly." She smiled back timidly at him, at a loss about what to do with her feelings.

It was his turn to look away for a moment.

"Uhm, can I sleep now?" She asked tentatively, though she was pretty sure she didn't want him to let go of her.

"Y-yes. Sorry about waking you up."

"Don't worry about it."

She was the one to take the other's face and press her lips to his when he least expected it.

Touko flashed him a tiny grin before she lied down, her back facing him.

Her thoughts were muddled with those kisses he gave her, which had left an almost electric tingling in their wake.

Maybe this wouldn't be so hard after all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: I enjoy having someone tease a character relentlessly. It's always fun to map out. Speaking of mapping out things, I should totally take a picture of my notebook that I write everything in before I type it up. You would all wonder how the hell I can make out anything. xD
> 
> Also, I was replacing some chapters and I ended up erasing the note I leave in the beginning and ends of my fics. OTL  
> Ah, well. If you didn't get to read them before I mistakenly got rid of them, you'll live. They were silly anyway. xD
> 
> "Something make my chest stir  
> Something make my head blur  
> I'm not ready for a handshake with death, no  
> I'm just such a happy mess, woah"  
> Pavlove - Fall Out Boy


	8. It's Not Up to You

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> blah blah old note
> 
> blah blah long time ago
> 
> ugh god the next chapter is the one I hate the most I'm not ready to feel that level of shame
> 
> \----
> 
> Let me start this off in a way that I think you'll all appreciate:  
> I'M SORRY I'M SORRY I'M SORRY I'M SORRY I'M SORRY.
> 
> ...
> 
> I'M SORRY.
> 
> Ever since I came back from Europe, my sleeping schedule's been all over the place. And because of that, I was feeling incredibly tired and demotivated to do anything. So if this chapter is crap, I'm sorry. v_v I tried to make it as long as possible without messing up my plans for other chapters to make up for it.
> 
> I promise I haven't given up on this or anything! Cross my heart.

"Seems the king has been keeping you up all night lately. But doing what, I wonder?" were the words Touko woke up to this fine morning.

It had only been one week and her sleeping patterns had already changed. N worked almost non-stop and the only free time he had were the graveyard hours.

So the late mornings and early evenings were the only times she could really sleep.

"Not whatever you're thinking," she retorted groggily, attempting to get her hair out of her face as she sat up. Touko had enforced a strict rule of one lesson per week to keep things from moving too fast. So when he came to see her the other six days, they just chatted.

"So you two haven't quite gotten that far, eh? No matter. It'll happen eventually."

This bitch was just full of it.

"Even if it did, I wouldn't tell you when it happened." She shoved her covers aside and removed the machines from her arm, treading over to the bathroom.

"You wouldn't have to tell me. I would find out without being told."

She had her hand on the doorknob, but she stopped in her tracks, looking over at Anthea now. "'The hell are you talking about now?"

A wicked grin appeared on the woman's face. "Let's just say there's a certain change about a person after their first time. For both parties."

The trainer narrowed her eyes. "You're crazy."

"You won't think so after it happens."

" _If_ it happens."

"It's definitely _when_ , dear."

She rolled her eyes and went to take her shower.

When she returned, she said, "Oh, by the way, _thank you so much_ for giving me that nice lingerie set and having N deliver it to me."

"You're quite welcome. I thought having him deliver it was a nice touch, no?"

"Seriously, what the hell are you plotting? We're nowhere near that. And even if I _did_ wear it for him, he would have no idea why the fuck I was wearing it in the first place." She shook her head and sat down on the edge of the mattress, leaning back and propping herself up with her arms.

"He may not consciously know, but even the most oblivious of people know when they feel lust."

Touko threw her hands up in frustration, knowing that, no matter how great her rebuttals were, she wouldn't win.

"I'm going to ignore you—"

"As you always do."

"—and read." She huffed and turned around, sitting with her legs crossed, her back facing the woman.

It wasn't until she felt lips pressed to the back of her neck that she snapped out of her hours-long reverie.

"Holy _shit_!" She shouted, jumping two feet into the air at the same time she chucked her book off of the bed. She quickly turned to face the perpetrator.

There was really only one person it could have been, though.

"You couldn't have _warned_ me that you were going to suddenly come in and kiss my neck?"

"You didn't hear Anthea and me? We were talking at the door just seconds ago."

She blinked blankly at him. "I didn't hear anything; what nonsense are you spouting?"

N just shook his head and stroked her hair.

As she was purposely avoiding eye contact with him, she noticed the dark circles under his eyes. "N, have you been getting enough sleep lately?" She furrowed her brows in question and rubbed her thumbs under his eyes to make sure it wasn't ink or some other substance.

"I haven't been sleeping at all, really."

With her concern now engaged, she frowned disapprovingly. "You can't be _that_ busy. And I know you don't watch me sleep _all night_."

"It's the former. There's a lot of work that needs to be done, and in order for me to meet my father's deadlines, I have to stay up finishing it all."

Ghetsis always found a way to be a cruel, unreasonable bastard.

"But you have to rest! I'd rather you sleep during your free time than coming and seeing me. And I mean it." The last sentence was accompanied with a stern look. She wasn't going to take no for an answer.

He pouted, but he knew that when Touko put her foot down, she wouldn't budge an inch.

His sigh was the signal of his compliance.

"That's a good boy." She offered him a smile and gave him a light peck on the lips. "Now go back to work. You've been here long enough."

He kissed her neck in response and fled before she could respond.

By the time Anthea returned, she was rubbing the spot where he kissed her, staring at her flannel pants with a heated face.

"Ah, where's a camera when you need one?" The pink-haired maiden commented, chuckling at the girl's expression.

The brunette glared at her. "Isn't this time time when Concordia comes in to watch me now?"

"Sorry, darling. Concordia's busy today, so I'll be watching you until tomorrow afternoon."

"... You've got to be kidding me." Touko pinched the bridge of her nose in distress, eyes shut tight. "I can only take so much of your torment..." She climbed off of the bed to go retrieve the book she sent flying.

"I'll tone it down for today, how's that? Besides, the only thing I do in here is watch you. I need to have a little fun myself, you know."

She rolled her eyes at this faulty reasoning. "You're ridiculous. Go find something else to do besides giving me hell all the time."

"But everything else just isn't as fun." Anthea exaggerated a pout.

The trainer muttered how she felt about the woman under her breath, climbing back onto the bed and returning to her literature.

* * *

Touko spent the rest of her day dodging Anthea's jabs as she read, sometimes providing a retort. She found that she was getting used to this teasing, as she knew that it would persist as long as she was here, in this relationship with N.

And to be honest, it was kind of relief that Concordia wasn't here today. The blonde as slowly trying to coerce the brunette into escaping the castle.

But she had an attachment to this place. Namely, her boyfriend. And she know both parties wouldn't take the separation well.

She went to sleep around the time the moon had jut begun its ascent into the sky. If she didn't want to be completely exhausted when he decided to come back, she had to retire early.

She was up just moments before he came through the door.

N raised an eyebrow upon seeing her sitting up, attempting to do something with her swamp of hair. "Were you up this entire time?"

"No. I woke up not too long ago, actually." She yawned and stretched now, rubbing the sleep from her eyes.

"You've kind of forced me to adapt to a new schedule," She shrugged nonchalantly.

Her yawn was contagious. "Sorry," he said through a gust of hair from his lugs.

"Don't worry about it." She patted the space next to her, waiting for him to make himself comfortable before speaking again. "It's a new week, isn't it?"

He nodded excitedly, knowing what this meant.

She sighed and ran a hand through her hair. "Where should I start this week?" She thought for a moment before coming to a conclusion. "I guess we could work on making your kissing better and more mrmphf..."

He looked at her expectantly with a slightly peeved expression to let her know that she was mumbling yet again. "I think instead of teaching _me_ something, we should teach you to stop mumbling all the time."

She scowled. "This is very hard for me, okay? Dating is something you learn about as you grow up. Since you're an odd case, it becomes really difficult to explain things." She put her face in her hands.

He sensed her distress and gathered her up in his arms. "I apologize again. If you don't want to teach me anything anymore, you don't have to." He pressed a kiss to the top of her head.

"No. I agreed to teach you and that's just what I need to do." She wriggled in his arms and he let go. "Are you sure?" He gave her a look of concern. She nodded.

"Okay, I know where to start today." She took a deep breath. "Let's start with more passionate kissing." She had to fight with herself so that she wouldn't gradually begin mumbling again. "The kisses we give each other now are just regular, sweet but simple ones. To keep things interesting, couples do other things besides a little peck in places."

He had that curious look on his face again, listening like an intrigued little boy, discovering something fascinating. "Stop looking cute; you're making this hard."

N looked at her with a bit of confusion. "I'm looking... cute? How so?"

"... Never mind. Anyway, during a kiss, one might decide to maybe... slide a tongue into the others' mouth." She squeezed her eyes shut tight, figuring it was easier to explain things to him if she wasn't looking at him while she said it. "It makes things more exciting and it usually escalates to other things, which I will explain in the future."

She paused, expecting some sort of response from him.

Nothing happened.

She reluctantly peeked at him, cringing as she did.

His eyes were half-closed and he was swaying slightly.

"Uhm, N, did you get all of that? First of all, are you alright?"

"Hm?" His eyes flew open and he sat upright, the sound of his name alerting him. "Y-yes. 'Tongue', you said?" He raised an eyebrow at her. "Humans are an odd bunch..."

"You wanted to learn about what normal people do. This is one of those things." She was just glad she didn't have to repeat herself.

She closed her eyes again before she continued.

"Along with the... tongue thing, another way of displaying affection is giving... hickeys. A hickey is—"

Because of his weight, when he slumped forward onto Touko, she fell back. He was lying on her and she had quite a bit of difficulty lifting him back up so that she could breathe.

"N!"

"Hm? Oh, yes, uhm... what were you saying?" Her shout startled him awake.

"You fell asleep."

"Did I? I'm sorry. You weren't boring me or anything, I promise, I'm just—" She put a hand over his lips to get him to stop. "Shush. I didn't understand a thing you just said anyway. You're tired. Sleep."

"But I—"

"This is not up for debate." A stern look was all she needed to pull off and he would heel.

Reluctantly following orders, N lied down next to where she was sitting. "When was the last time you slept?" She asked him, putting a hand on his forehead. He felt unusually warm.

"... Five days ago."

"Good Arceus!" She had all reason to be worried about his condition, especially now. She shook her head before adding, "You definitely need to give up working for a little while." She tutted and poked his cheek. "Don't work until you're about to collapse, alright?"

He nodded, closing his eyes.

"Good. Now, I guess we'll finish the lesson tomorrow since you need rest. In lieu of today's lesson, I'll just sing to you."

He smirked.

"Don't look so smug." Touko poked his cheek again. "I'm just trying to be a good girlfriend." She huffed.

"You already are."

She blushed slightly and shook her head, taking a deep breath afterward and starting to sing the lullaby.

"You know, that was the last thing I heard from my mother," he murmured, sleep laced in his voice.

She abruptly stopped singing and was about to ask him something, but when she looked at him, she saw his chest rising and falling steadily.

He was out cold.

She stared out of the window, going over what he said and wondering how she was supposed to feel about his comment.

Eventually, her mind tired out from thinking too much about his words. Hesitantly, she lied down beside him, taking a chance and scooting a little closer to him.

Being able to smell his scent at the small distance they were apart, she closed her eyes, taking a deep breath so it could fill her nose.

She was out in minutes.

* * *

When Touko was regaining her consciousness, she felt herself lying against something warm, with something else wrapped around her.

She snuggled closer until her nose was against the solid object, inhaling deeply.

' _Mm, oran berries..._ '

… Wait a second.

With her eyes opened, she found herself pressed up against her boyfriend. Not that she was complaining.

But there were two things that just didn't add up.

One, he was still lying in bed with her. She remembered that she had made him sleep, but she figured he would wake up early and leave.

Which brought her to her second point: he was still sleeping. There had never been a time where she was up before him until now.

Though she really didn't want to, she carefully peeled his arms off of her, cautiously getting herself off of the bed to slink away into the bathroom.

When she came out, fresh and clean, N was coming too, though it was obvious that he wanted to keep sleeping.

It was probably the lack of warmth from another body that roused him.

Sitting up, he saw Touko approaching the bed, a small smile on her face. "Good morning," she greeted, sitting on the edge of the bed beside him.

"'Morning," he mumbled, having to glance away. Her smiles always touched his heart when they were sincere. He didn't know why but they always caused a flurry of emotion within him.

"You look like you slept pretty well," she commented with a chuckle, putting a hand on his cheek. "Take a day off. Maybe more. You're going to work yourself to death."

He looked absolutely appalled by the suggestion. "A day off? I can't. My father will be furious if he founds that I'm not in the office working. I can't let him come in here again and find you." His worry was blatantly obvious.

"N, can you not feel how tired you are? Sure, you're a king and your father's working you like a rapidash, but you were ready to crash. And you'll definitely do just that if you don't take a break every once in a while."

"But I do it for your safety!"

"I can take care of myself, N. I know you have my best interests at heart, but it's necessary that you take a break."

"If overworking is what it takes to keep my father away from you, then I'll do just that," he replied instead.

"I'm not going to argue with you about this." She narrowed her eyes, able to see where this conversation waws going.

N moved the covers aside and was about to get out of the bed, but she blocked his way, sitting on his legs now. "Touko..."

"I refuse to take no for an answer."

He started trying to get away anyway.

She took a more direct approach now, getting on all fours and crawling closer to him until she was face-to-face with him.

The vicious look on her face coupled with the intimidating aura she was giving off caused him to back away some.

In response, she just moved closer again.

This game of glameow and rattata continued until he was lying down, unable to move any further.

During the time when she was still getting closer, she had crossed her left leg over so that it was next to his right. Now that he was lying down, she had his waist straddled, her hands on either side of his head.

Had this occurred in any other situation she would have become embarrassed.

"Touko, your expression is rather frightening."

"Good. I'm going to keep it up until you agree to stay."

"I can't."

"We're going to be like this for a while then."

Anthea came in a few minutes later, opening her mouth, but quickly closing it upon seeing the two. Misreading the atmosphere in the room, she blurted out, "... Am I interrupting something?"

Her hands flew to her mouth and she cringed, focusing on N. "Forgive me, my lord. I spoke out of line..." She bowed a few times to show her sincere apologies.

"It's quite alright," he answered without taking his eyes off of Touko.

He would have preferred to look away, though.

The brunette ignored the pink-haired one until an idea had formed in her mind.

Finally breaking her gaze off of N, she scrambled off of her boyfriend, clearing her throat and willing her face to stay blush-free as she walked up to the maiden. "Anthea, N is ridiculously tired and—"

"Touko, I really can't stay! Anthea, don't listen to her!"

"—just the other night, he kept falling asleep. If he keeps working, he's going to crash and burn. He needs the day off."

"It's okay, Anthea! Really!"

"Do you think you or Concordia could fill in for him today?"

Tuning out N's protests, she thought for a moment. "Sure, why not?"

The boy finally shut up then.

"Just do do anything racy!" she teased quietly, so only Touko could hear her. "That scene earlier really let my imagination wander." She winked.

The trainer rolled her eyes and turned away so she couldn't see her bashful expression.

"I apologize, Master N, but I'm afraid I'm not going to obey you this time. You may punish me as you see fit later." She bowed respectfully to make her words sound sincere, but she wasn't sorry about her insubordination in the slightest.

After she left, Touko looked to N, a smug grin on her face. "There. Now you don't have to worry about me or your job anymore!"

He sighed and shook his head, though he was rather grateful for the day off. "Well, now that I'll be here, did you have anything planned for today?" he questioned as he climbed off of the bed and made his way to the bathroom.

"... Not really. But we can figure out what to do when you're done."

He nodded before he closed the door.

When he emerged, she was sitting on the bed, attempting to fix her swamp of hair.

"It's fine as it is, you know," he said, chuckling when she rolled her eyes.

"That's a bias from someone who has messy hair of their own."

He laughed. "Maybe."

"Anyway," she digressed, pushing his face away when he was getting too close, "I figured out what we can do, but it won't take very long."

It didn't take even a second for him to get the hint.

"Where do you remember me stopping?" She then asked.

"The last thing I remember hearing was your continuation about how there's something other than... tongs." He looked at her, slightly confused.

" _Tongues_. I said tongues." She shook her head and tutted. "Should I just start from the beginning?" She sighed heavily, her hand holding up her forehead.

"No, I remember everything else up to that point. If not clearly, then a bit vaguely."

" _Good_. That's a load off my shoulders." She sighed heavily again, but out of relief this time.

"As I was saying before you passed out," cue a sheepish, apologetic look from him, "another way for couples to express their affection is by giving each other... hickeys." She was gradually getting better at this not-mumbling thing. "A hickey is a mark you leave on someone by sucking on their skin kind of hard," she explained further. "The places these are usually left are the neck shoulder and sometimes the collarbone when things get... racy."

Now that he was well-rested and attentive, he memorized every word she was saying.

"Alternatively, there's—"

They both looked around for where the source of a sudden ringing sound was coming from. They both soon figured out that it was the Xtransceiver on her wrist.

Seeing that it was going to be a four-way call on the screen, she knew four of the three people it could possibly be.

She accepted the call, seeing her three closest friends: Cheren, Bianca, and Touya.

Now that she thought about it, she realized that her friends hadn't really crossed her minds except for a brief moment while she was talking to her mom about her "death."

"You three are a sight for sore eyes," she said, the first to speak. They all laughed, the spirit of humor with them.

N felt like the odd one out and, truthfully, a bit jealous. He didn't know what he was feeling, though, so he decided that he would ask her later.

"Wow, Touko, where are you?" Bianca asked, noticing the scenery behind her friend. The other two took notice when she pointed it out, seeing the lavish bedroom she was in.

"Wait a second," Cheren then added, "aren't those Team Plasma colors?"

The three stared at Touko gravely, wondering what the hell was going on.

"Uhm, well, yes," she mumbled, shying away from their interrogative stares. "You see, I'm kind of, well... didn't my mom tell you guys anything?" She asked exasperatedly.

"She merely told us that your death was faked, that you're okay, and that we're not to tell anyone that you're still alive. Nothing more." The raven-haired boy clarifed.

She groaned and clutched her forehead.

"Would you like me to tell them?" N asked, her, the fourth witness to her obvious distress.

"No, N, I got it."

" _N_?" all three exclaimed in unison, shock plastered onto their faces.

"... Well shit, that's not how I wanted to tell you guys," she muttered under her breath, her hand sliding up to comb her hair with her fingers. "Yes, N. He saved me that day when I was in the throne room since I had another episode."

"But why have you been there for over three months then?" Touya asked, brows furrowed in confusion.

She started to rub the back of her neck nervously, trying to form the words. "You see, I'm kind of... I'm... I'm damrmphfh..."

" _Touko_ ," everyone said, including N, sighing. Her mumbling was notorious.

She scowled at her boyfriend, glaring at him for a moment, before she looked to her friends again. "I'm.. kind of... well... I'm dating N."

Each of them had different reactions.

Bianca was absolutely ecstatic, starting to gab on about how she was happy for her friend, completely supportive of their relationship.

Cheren flipped his shit, repulsed by this idea and going on about how she needed to come home at once and get away from that creep.

Touya's reaction was the one that worried her the most, though. He was completely silent, his face totally blank.

And she knew exactly why.

"Cheren, Bianca, hush," she growled, an angry vein daring to appear on her forehead. "I can't even hear myself think."

They reluctantly did as she commanded.

"Cheren, he's not how you think he is. He's actually very sweet. I know what he did to us and how pushy he seemed about it, but he was being manipulated. He's not really like that at all."

He was still rather skeptical.

N, deciding he should prove himself, put his chin on her shoulder, now in the screen of the Xtransceiver.

Touya's expression became notably sour. The green-eyed boy seemed to be the only one that caught it, though.

"Tell him to get off of you," the one in glasses grumbled, narrowing his eyes at the Team Plasma king.

"You sound like my mother," she muttered, rolling her eyes. "It's fine. Leave him alone."

Bianca started to bombard him with questions about how Touko was doing and how their relationship was going. She answered each question before he had the chance to. He didn't exactly know how to beat around the bush and she was sure he'd tell everyone more than they needed to know.

Cheren eventually came around, though he was still rather wary of the Plasma king.

Touya remained silent throughout the whole ordeal.

After about half an hour, Bianca had to leave since Professor Juniper was calling for her. Cheren decided to leave not long after her, saying he needed to get back to training with his Pokémon.

Touya, the last one left, stared hard at the both of them, much to their discomfort. "I hope you know what you're doing," he hissed.

He hung up before she could respond.

Moving off of her shoulder, N looked at her inquisitively, head tilted to the side in question.

She bit her lip, unsure of whether she should tell him or not.

"He likes me. _A lot_. He's asked me out numerous times, but I've always turned him down. I just don't like him like that." She frowned slightly. "So now he's really jealous of you."

"Is that what it's called?"

"... Huh?"

"When you were talking with them, I felt left out and a little upset..."

She stared at him for a moment before she burst into laughter. "Yes, you were jealous. You don't have a reason to be, though."

He pouted. "I fail to see how this is funny."

She had to fight hard to keep from laughing again upon seeing his pout. "Don't worry about it. Just now that I'm flattered." She patted his head before sliding it down to his cheek.

Realizing what she was doing, she removed her hand, clearing her throat. "A-anyway, where did we stop at before the call?"

"The alternative to hickeys," he answered.

Touko really wished he wasn't so blunt sometimes.

"Right. The alternative to hickeys is nipping. It's like biting, only much less painful. People often do these in the same places hickeys occur."

"I supposed those are supposed to be stimulating as well, yes?"

She nodded without looking at him, keeping her head down to cover her face with her hair. "Things like mrmpfh mumfph mmfphm help too."

He put his hands on her cheeks and lifted her head, staring straight into her eyes. "I can't hear a word you're saying. It seems that you've always had this problem because your friends pointed it out as well."

"I always mumble when I'm too nervous to say something," she grumbled, averting her gaze.

"I've said before that if you don't want to tell me, you don't have to."

"You can say that all you want, but I need to teach you everything there is to know about relationships," was her retort.

"Then say what you need to." He frowned with concern.

"I was trying to say that...," she shut her eyes tight, "during kisses like the ones I explained earlier, sometimes one will slide... a hand... up the others' shirt... and feel around," she managed to squeak out. "Why can't you just get a book and read about these kinds of things?"

"I'd rather hear it from you. And you _did_ just say that you had an obligation to teach me since I asked."

"I really wish I didn't say stupid things like that and you didn't remember them." She cursed his ability to retain information just like that. She also cursed herself for making promises she didn't like.

"Gifts are nice too. Like flowers and such," she added quickly, so that the lesson could end on a less awkward note. "Okay, done. Now let's go do something else."

As she was about to jump off of the bed, he grabbed her arm and stopped her, his eyes pleading with her. "There's no use in learning something if you don't ever apply it to anything. You may as well not have learned it in the first place."

She made the mistake of locking eyes with him, causing her desire to get away to die out. "Fine..." she muttered, taking a deep breath to ready herself. "Since this stuff is a bit harder than what I taught you last week, I'll start us off."

"But didn't I already do something similar that time where you didn't want to take your medicine...?"

"That time doesn't count; let's never speak of it again," she snapped, glaring at him.

Taking another deep breath, she wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled him down to her level. Biting her bottom lip nervously first, she pressed her lips to his, closing her eyes. Easing into it, she gently pried his mouth open with her tongue, slipping it into his mouth.

As she ran her tongue over his, she pulled him even closer. N, slowly starting to figure things out, began to fight back, their lips locked in war.

He put his hand on her waist and she could feel them moving slightly, unsure of if he should touch her anywhere else or not. Vaguely remembering what this was for, Touko removed one hand from around his neck and grabbed one of his hands, helping him so that his palm now rested on her stomach.

In truth, she wanted this. The lesson was pushed to the back of her mind. She was acting on her own lust now.

And so was he.

With her mind blank and set on one mode and one mode only, she started to recline. Eventually, her back hit the bed and he was hovering over her, the positions from earlier switched.

When their kiss had to break so they could breathe, without saying anything, N trailed his lips down to her neck where he lightly bit the skin there, now starting to suck on it as well.

Her breathing was starting to grow heavy.

During this, his hand was still rather stagnant on her stomach. Because of this, she grabbed his hand yet again, moving it all over her skin so he could get the hint.

Picking up on her actions, he began sliding his hand over what he could, marveling to himself about how smooth and soft it felt against his fingertips.

Soon, both of his hands were under her shirt, with absolutely no protest from her. Wherever his hands trailed, it left a blazing sensation on her skin, as if flames were licking her body.

She was just beginning to feel hot and bothered when one of his hands happen to barely brush her breast.

This contact instantly snapped them both out of their daze.

"That's... that's enough," she breathed when he pulled away from her neck. "That's as far as I talked about today." ' _And just a little over it, too..._ '

As she began to sit up, he backed way so that she could.

They looked at each other for a moment before they both had to glance away.

The tension was thick. Touko squirmed a little with discomfort while N fiddled with the ringed orb hanging around his neck.

"I... ah... I suppose you'd want breakfast... I'll get that for you."

She gathered up some of the sheets in her hand, contemplating her navel until he left the room.

As she was left alone to reflect on what just happened, a murmur of what she had discussed with Anthea before came to mind. ' _He may not consciously know, but even the most oblivious of people know when they feel lust._ '

And there was no way she could deny that woman's words now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: I just love UST, don't you? |D {Don't know what that is? Go to TVTropes! D:}
> 
> "If you leave it alone  
> It might just happen  
> Anyway"  
> It's Not Up to You - Björk


	9. Matryoskha {Part One}

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hn.
> 
> \----
> 
> First part of this chapter is kinda like filler. It's still rather amusing to read, so you can skip it if you want. There is a part in it that's rather important, so it's whatever you wanna do. c:

"Augh, what the—N! This was not in the lesson last week!"

Touko was woken up with her face being licked like there was no tomorrow.

"Sorry to disappoint, dear, but that's not your boyfriend. He's not that senile."

She put her arms up to block any further wet assaults, opening her eyes to see her Liepard. "Deviant!" she exclaimed, her arms now wrapped around her pokémon.

Then she paused.

"Wait, why is she—"

"N said it was a gift. Something about how you talked about gift-giving last week. You haven't seen them in weeks, apparently. Obviously releasing your Reshiram in here would have been a mistake, so we thought about it and decided the Liepard would be best."

"Thank you." The brunette gave her a sincere grin, keeping her tears of happiness from spilling over. She buried her face in her companion's fur.

The goddess of love didn't want to admit it, but the scene before her was actually rather touching.

"I've... missed you all... so much," she sniveled, her voice muffled and cracking in places as she spoke to Deviant, holding onto her as if her life depended on it.

"Alright, alright, cut it out before I bust a heart string," the pink-haired maiden said having to hold back a few tears of her own.

"Sorry," the trainer said with a weak chuckle, finally releasing her grip on her pokémon. Patting her head a few times, she told the Liepard to sit and wait for her to come out of the bathroom.

When she returned, she grabbed her book and had Deviant sit down right next to her, beginning to read aloud.

Anthea decided to join them on the bed, listening to the story. The trainer, taking notice of this, stared blankly at her. "Uhm, excuse me, miss. What do you think you're doing?"

"What, I can't listen too?"

"Do you _have_ to be on the bed?"

The second she said this, she regretted it.

"Oh ho ho. Seems the princess doesn't want me barging my way onto her sacred spot. Something special must have happened," she said, the last part spoken with a sing-songy voice.

"Fucking hell, Anthea, we haven't had sex!" Though the mistress didn't need to know how close they had gotten just a few days ago.

"Oh, I know. As I said before, I'll be able to tell. But I _can_ tell that some rather... _interesting_ things have happened on this bed, considering you two share it and all."

She rolled her eyes and went back to staring down at her book. "Fine, you can sit and listen, but if you make even one little teasing comment, I will assault you, so help me Arceus."

"Promise I won't." She crossed her finger over her heart twice, tracing an x, then raising her left hand.

Touko narrowed her eyes skeptically before she took a deep breath, about to continue. Interrupting her, the woman then said, "But I do have a question. What's that?" She poked a faded, red mark on the girl's neck. She twitched from the touch and covered it with her hand, glaring at her. "It's nothing," she grumbled, obviously lying.

"I'll take your word for it," her attendant replied, though she didn't buy that excuse at all.

After she read a few chapters, all three looked up to see N walk in, holding his crown in his hands.

The two lovers just kind of stared at each other for a second before looking away. It was still kind of awkward between them because of the events that occurred.

And Anthea didn't misread the aura they were giving off this time.

With a smile in her voice, she hopped off of the bed, heading to the door. Pulling out Deviant's pokéball, she told her, "C'mon, you. Let's leave thse two alone for a little bit." She left once the Liepard returned, bowing to N before disappearing.

"Err, thank you for bringing one of my pokémon," she muttered, clearing her throat.

"Anytime," he said in response, fidgeting with the crown in his hand.

This was just too much for either of them to bear.

"What happened last weak can't be ignored anymore. Avoiding it while you've gone back to working isn't helping either of us." She ran both hands through her hair. "And as... odd as that was, it was progress. Remember, I said couples do all those things. So it was a good thing it happened. Awkward, but good."

She sighed heavily, feeling as if a weight had just been lifted off of her shoulders.

He hesitated for a moment before he approached the bed, sitting next to her. "Are you saying it's something that you wouldn't mind happening again?"

"W-well, I'm not mrmphf..."

He gently grasped her chin and lifted it. "Touko."

It was times like these that made her heart rate sky rocket. She was just thankful that the heart monitor was usually disconnected at these times.

But she was sure that, even with out it, he knew.

"I-I'm not going to complain if it happens again," she muttered, still unable to look him in the eye.

"Even if it happens now?"

She knew what would happen next. At least she got a warning before it did.

She let him be the one to take initiative this time since he instigated this in the first place. A few moments after he kissed her, he pried her lips open.

She grabbed the robe he was wearing to pull him closer. Touko was practically melting into the kiss when she realized that they were on a time constraint and Anthea could come back at any moment, thinking N left already.

And she didn't need her seeing this.

Reluctantly cutting it short, she pulled away. "I... uhm... you have a job to get back to. I wouldn't want your father coming to look for us," she said, coming up with a lame excuse to get him out of here.

"... Right." Giving her one last kiss on the forehead, he left the room.

Both felt a little deprived when the door shut.

Anthea stepped in not too long later, tossing the pokéball in front of her and letting Deviant out again. "I really wish I hadn't made that promise," she sighed, following after the feline to the bed as she held in all the little taunts she had thought of. "Now would have been a _perfect_ time to use them. Ah, well. I'll wait until tomorrow."

She glared daggers at the woman before she went back to storytelling.

* * *

Concordia had actually been gone a lot longer than Anthea said she would be. When the blonde finally made her return later that day, Touko had pretty much forgotten why she was kind of glad that she wasn't around in the first place.

Anthea tended to that type of person that overshadowed all other nuisances, especially when you had to deal with her daily with only a short break in between.

"There's a face I haven't seen in a while," the trainer commented, her Liepard curled up on her lap.

"I apologize." The blonde bowed. "Business came up and I had no choice but to participate."

"I'd forgive you, but you left me with Anthea. It's going to take a while for you to make up for that."

They both laughed.

"So what I have I missed during my absence?"

The ocean-eyed girl told her about how her friends had called her on the Xtransceiver and how Touya was the least pleased with her staying here. She also told her about how, on the same day, she forced N to stay in the room because he was over-burdening himself.

Concordia kept a certain part of what Touko had told her in her mind, duly noting it. It was significant to what she had planned.

Telling the trainer nothing of it, they continued just chatting as they used to until the girl grew tired.

The attendant waited about an hour after she fell asleep to put the Liepard back in her pokéball, approaching the trainer afterward.

Carefully unlatching the Xtransceiver, she slid it off of the girl's wrist, breathing with success when she didn't even stir.

She pocketed it, glad to skitter away when N came to take her place for the remainder of the night.

* * *

A few days later, when N came to visit her in the early afternoon, as per usual, Touko felt that his skin was burning up.

The theory she had about this was later proved when he started coughing. She grimaced at the wet coughs erupting from his throat, forcing him to sit still as she investigated the bathroom.

"C'mon, shouldn't every bathroom have a body thermometer?" After a bit of rummaging, she found one.

"Open your mouth and lift your tongue." She stuck the pointed end into his mouth, manually pushing his chin up with her hands to close his mouth. Pressing the button at the flat end, they both waited for it to go off, the king coughing a few times as time passed by.

"You're staying here again. For a few days, at least."

"Touko, not this," cough, "again!" Cough, cough. "I'm fine!" His coughing as he made that last exclaim begged to differ.

"No. You're staying. You're pushing 102 degrees, N! I told you this would happen if you kept over-working yourself!"

"I'll be fine, Touko, really."

She threw her hands up in frustration. "Alright, fine. I'll let you learn this the hard way, since you seem to like lessons."

She took the thermometer and washed it off, putting it back where she found it in the bathroom. "I'm very prone to getting sick, so don't get too close to me." When she saw the pout he gave her she defended herself with, "Hey, I have a shitty immune system and an even shitter heart. Getting sick is like asking for a death wish for me. I don't want you not touching me either, but there's no way around it."

After her shrug, he got up with a sigh. "I suppose I'll get going now."

She waved with a bit of regret as he left. When she looked at her wrist to check the time, she finally discovered that her Xtransceiver was gone. "... It couldn't have just grown legs and run off," she muttered to herself, starting to look around for it. Giving up her search with a sigh after a few minutes, she sat down on the bed, waiting for Concordia to appear.

When the blonde finally made her way through the door the first thing she said was, "Touko, go hide in the bathroom."

Not questioning it, she ran inside, closing the door behind her and pressing her ear to the door to eavesdrop on anything that might be said.

The only thing she heard was, "Thank you, gentlemen," from Concordia, then, "You can come out now, Touko."

Opening the door, she stopped halfway on her walk back to the bed, seeing N lying on it, looking completely miserable.

She resisted the urge to gloat, deciding now would be a bad time to do so. Instead, she stood next to where he lied, leaning over the edge of the bed. "You alright?" she asked with a bit of worry, sweeping his hair away from his forehead and replacing the hair with her hand. He was still scorching.

"Yeah," he said tiredly, his nose bright red. "I passed out in the hall while I was returning to my office." He frowned slightly, turning his head away from her for a moment to sneeze.

"Now I don't have to force you to stay here," she teased, laughing lightly. "This is what happens when you work too much. Have we learned from this experience?"

He reluctantly nodded, much to his chagrin.

Concordia, who had been standing by the door, observing, spoke up. "I'm going to get you some medicine and soup, my lord." She bowed before making her exit.

"I don't catch illnesses often," he commented, fleeing a little nauseous. "So on the off-chance that I manage to get one, it can become rather severe." He coughed onto his hand, making sure to keep it away from her.

"This could have easily been avoided, you know," she pointed out innocently. "Anyway, you should probably change into something more comfortable. From the looks of it, you're going to be bedridden for a while."

He propped himself up on his elbows. "Could you help me?" He asked her knowing he couldn't do it alone.

She nodded and helped him sit up, gradually getting him to lean against the headboard. Touko figured if he moved too quickly, it wouldn't end well.

She stripped off his robe, dumping it on the floor. "What do you want to change into?" She asked him.

"Just take off the top shirt and the khaki pants, please."

Her hands that were reaching for the first button on the shirt stopped in mid-air as her mind repeated the last half of his sentence. "Uhm, your... your pants?"

He nodded obliviously, raising an eyebrow at why this seemed to be a problem.

' _Why does he not understand these things unless told or in the heat of a moment?_ ' She groaned internally, knowing exactly why, but figuring she should at least ask. Maybe the answer would magically appear in front of her someday.

For now, though, she unbuttoned his shirt, steeling herself for what she had to take off next. She chucked the shirt onto the floor with the robe, trying not to think about how else these actions could be interpreted.

Touko looked up at the ceiling for a moment, mumbling some things under her breath before she looked down.

Her hands shook as her fingers found their way to the latch, her facial color shading and her bottom lip being subject to being trapped between her teeth. She kept fumbling with it because of how nervous she was, the implications of these motions tormenting her. She held her breath as she got it loose, then anxiously rushed to get the zipper down, pulling his pants off in one swift motion. Once those were also on the floor, she reached over him, grabbed the blanket, covered the bottom half of his body, and made a run for it back into the bathroom.

When Concordia returned with a tray of piping hot soup and two pills with a glass filled with water, she found that the girl was nowhere to be seen. "Master N, where's Miss Touko?"

"She's in the bathroom."

When she approached the bed, she saw the pile of clothes on the floor. "Did you...?"

"Touko helped."

She blinked a few times, thinking about how that possibly went down and how Anthea would have reacted.

The trainer herself was currently on the tile floor, coughing into her hand with the other on her heart. She closed her eyes as she tried to calm down, telling herself that it didn't mean anything, especially since he had no idea why she seemed so tense.

"Are you alright?" The goddess of peace asked, knocking lightly on the door.

"I'm... I'm fine," she replied as she was picking herself off of the floor. When she opened her eyes and checked her hand, there were a few small splatters of blood speckled on her skin. ' _Maybe I'm becoming immune to those meds..._ '

After she washed her hands, she reemerged from the bathroom, begging herself to keep her wits about her. What happened didn't mean anything. She had to repeat it constantly to herself.

The why were her emotions in a frenzy?

She joined the attendant at the beside. "Make sure he finishes the entire bowl. Have him rest afterward."

She nodded and watched the woman leave. Once the click was heard, she looked at N for a moment before deciding to stare at the tray instead.

Luckily, his eyes were closed as he was reclined against the headboard, so he didn't notice. However, he did peek at her when she placed the tray in his lap.

"It's better if you eat the soup before taking those pills," she suggested.

"I'll spill it all over myself," he told her. She looked at his hand that was on the side she was standing by and saw that they were shaking rather unstably. "Could you feed me, please?"

' _Concordia, why do I get the feeling you set me up?_ ' She continued to curse the blond as she stirred the spoon around in the bowl to cool it down.

She blew at the spoonful she scooped up, holding her hand under the silverware as she led it into his mouth.

Once the bowl was finished, she fell forward, taking a deep breath into the sheets as she attempted to relieve herself. "That was more draining than I thought it would be," she spoke, the words muffled by cloth.

Lifting her head up, she saw the pills and glass on the tray, then looked to her boyfriend. "Do you need help with that too?"

"Probably, I suppose," he responded.

Sighing, she put the glass in front of him and grabbed one of his hands, putting it on the glass. She did the same with the other, putting her hands over his afterrward. He took a sip from the glass, then she handed him the pills. Once those were downed, she put the tray back on the nightstand.

After she helped him lie down and he turned on his side to face her, she grabbed a chair, sitting down in front of him.

He couldn't help but chuckle a little at this development.

"What?" Touko asked, not understanding what he found so amusing.

"This reminds me of how I watched you in the hospital wing after you won that day in the throne room."

Upon noticing the similarities, she smirked, putting her hand on his forehead again. "Now sleep," she told him, murmuring the lullaby.

Not long after he fell asleep, she was slumped against the bed while in her seat, his hands in between hers, her head next to his. She had passed out as well, exhausted after having her heart working overtime taking care of him.

* * *

Concordia clicked her way down the halls, making her way to her own room as she attached Touko's Xtranceiver to her wrist. She hit the buttons on the screen, scrolling through the contacts until she found the name she was searching for.

"... Touko?" He asked after he accepted the call, raising an eyebrow curiously when he didn't see her on the screen. "Wait, aren't you...?"

"Yes. I am Concordia. I was there when Alder, Cheren, and you came for Miss Touko that day. And this is her Xtransceiver, but I'm... borrowing it for some time."

He stared at the woman, skeptical about the motives she had in making this call. "So why are you calling me?"

"From what I've heard from her, you're not very pleased about how she's here at Team Plasma's castle... and how she's in a relationship with my king."

His expression became dark. "Are you calling to gloat?"

"I'd do nothing of the sort, Mister Touya. I'm calling because I have a proposition to make with you. You see, Miss Touko isn't very safe here, and as much as I enjoy her company, I don't like the idea of her constantly being in danger. So she needs to get away from here."

"... I'm listening."

"I've attempted to discuss this numerous times with her, but she refuses to leave, even though she knows the possibility of trouble is high. At this point in time, I've found myself on the edge of desperation to get her out of here, and I've come to the conclusion that I'm going to need assistance to make this happen. So, Mister Touya, do you think you'll be able to help me in getting Miss Touko to escape?"

He nodded. "If you have an idea, I'll be happy to help you in any way I can."

"Great. Now let's begin planning, shall we?"

* * *

"Touko, I don't feel well."

"Well obviously. You're sick." He woke her up by tapping her shoulder and she groaned before she had responded.

"No, as in, I believe I may..." When she heard heaving noises, she was up in an instant, scrambling to the bathroom. "Oharceus, oharceus, oharceus," she muttered to herself frantically. "Lemme find something, lemme find something, _let. Me. Find. Something_!"

She saw the bag she stored things in in the corner of her eye, deciding she could sacrifice it. She dumped everything inside onto the floor and sprinted back to him, holding the bag next to the edge of the bed.

She looked away as N leaned over, his head in the bag. When it stopped, she closed the bag and set it down on the floor.

"Here, rinse your mouth out." She handed him the glass with leftover water in it and picked up the bag again, opening it again for him to spit out the water.. "Feeling any better?" she asked after putting the bag back on the floor and tucking it under the bed, sympathy in her voice and on her face.

"Not really."

She got up again and found a small towel in the bathroom, running it under cold water and wringing it out. She folded it and returned to him, placing it on his forehead. "Hopefully that'll help a little."

"It does, thank you," he murmured, closing his eyes again.

Since she wasn't sleepy anymore, especially after having to rush to aid him, she just read instead, waiting for him to wake up and request something else.

Half an hour later, Anthea came in with a plastic tub filled with ice water and a sponge floating around on the surface.

"Aw, you're such a good girlfriend," she teased, chuckling when Touko rolled her eyes. "Anyway, the poor boy doesn't look like he could stand for long. He needs a sponge bath."

"O-oh, alright, let me go to the bathroom first and then—"

"Uh, where are you going, dear?" The woman put one hand on her waist while the other helpd the tub between her hip and her arm. The trainer had already gotten to her feet, skittering off to her safe have. "You're the one that's going to do it for him."

She groaned, looking desperate to escape this fate. "Why _me_?"

"I can't stay here long. I'm just here to check on him and drop this off. I don't have time to do it. Here." She walked up to her and handed her the tub.

"One of these days, I'm going to..."

"Hm?"

" _Nothing_!" The brunette gave her a tight smile before stomping unhappily back to the bed.

"I'll leave him to you then." She chuckled and waved before she left the room.

She muttered curses under her breath before carefully waking N up. "Hey, you. Get up. I have to give you a sponge bath." It was obvious that she was annoyed, but he wasn't at fault, of course.

He lifted himself up slowly as she sat down, placing the tub on her lap. "This is going to be cold, alright? It'll help your body cool down, though."

He nodded obediently.

"Your... your shirt needs to come off, though," she mumbled, leaning over while balancing the tub in her lap to help him pull it off.

She tried not to let her eyes wander down, fixing her eyes on a single object in the room, choosing the wall behind him. His body wasn't buff, bit it wasn't lame and flabby either. He was lean, a soft outline of abs trace onto his stomach, probably from all the work he did.

From how tired he appeared, it wasn't any less than excessive.

When he sat up, he slouched a little, looking warmly at her, completely oblivious to how she felt about being put up to this.

"Just stay still, okay?" She sighed as she dipped the sponge in the water, squeezing the extra water out before putting it on the back of his neck. Her other hand reluctantly placed itself on his chest to steady him and hold him in place.

The way her hands felt on him was completely different from what he might have expected. The surface was a bit coarse, most likely from all the traveling through brush she had done before, but otherwise, her touch was gentle, extremely soothing. Because her hands were cold from the ice water, her welcomed the feeling, leaning into her touches.

When he started staring at her, she didn't take notice until a few moments later, when it started to unnerve her. "... What? Am I doing something wrong? Do you want me to stop?" Forcing herself to meet his eyes for once, she got lost in his gaze.

It wasn't until his face was right in front of hers that she snapped out of it. "W-wait!" She shouted, putting a hand over his lips. "You're sick! That's not good for either of us!"

He grabbed her arm and kissed the middle of her palm. When she looked shocked, he told her, "Isn't this what couples do?"

"Err, yes, but... what's gotten into you? Are you becoming delirious?" Her other hand dropped the sponge place itself on his forehead.

He grabbed her other arm and pulled her close so that she was standing and leaning against him, the tub falling out of her lap and onto the floor, water seeping into the carpeting.

They were too preoccupied to notice. Or care, for that matter.

"N, I don't know what you're doing, but it needs to stop." As much as she fought it, her face disobeyed her and her complexion changed color.

"I don't enjoy how you've distanced yourself from me. I know it's necessary, but I don't like it." He moved her hand from his forehead to his cheek. "Your hands are cold. They feel better than the sponge. I want you to keep touching me; that's the way I feel. Is there a name for that feeling too?"

"Uhm, yes... I-I think it would be better if you asked Anthea or Concordia about everything else, though..."

"But you said you'd do everything." He started kissing down her wrist, taking pleasure in how her skin felt against his.

"I know, I know. But it's easier if they explained the next step—"

"What's the next step? Sexual intercourse?"

He chuckled at her surprise.

"I was still given an education, you know. I was taught what it was, but I was not taught the things that led up to that point. I assume that all the lessons you've given me are what ends up in intercourse?"

She paused for a moment, then nodded, shamefaced.

"Can I also assume that the feeling I have is my body's way of telling me that that's what I desire?"

She nodded again, jumping slightly when she felt his fingertips against her stomach. Touko's will to oppose had given up now. He knew what he wanted, she knew what she wanted, and there was no way around it. It truly was inevitable, just as Anthea had said.

"Then teach me what to do with my desire."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Alright, alright, I'll stop prolonging this, jeez.
> 
> "Ano ne, motto ippai matte choudai  
> KARINKA? MARINKA? Gen wo hajiite  
> Konna kanjou dou shiyou ka?  
> Chotto oshiete kurenai ka?  
> {Um, well...  
> If you please, dance more and more  
> Kalinka? Malinka?  
> Just play the chord  
> What should I do about such feelings?  
> Can't you tell me? Just a little?}"  
> Matryoshka - Zebra and Hashiyan's cover


	10. Matryoshka {Part Two}

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> smut warning.
> 
> \----
> 
> Oh goodness, I had a harder time writing this than I usually do for other things. OTL Why is that? I think it's because I didn't wanna disappoint you guys.
> 
> And yes, some things are a bit.. strange, but bear with me, guys. ;^; And if there are grammatical errors, deal with it. I feel awks going back and fixing anything. /shifty look  
> I'll do it for any part but this one, okay?
> 
> {And this is a part two for obvious reasons. It's just that fitting all this into one chapter is... excessive and letting it be its own chapter is silly, so PART TWO was born. xD; And the reason this is coming out so late is because I wanted to chuck out the next chapter with it.}

Well, she was in quite the predicament now.

Touko's heart was aflutter, the charismatic way N had made his request enticing her to listen. But she wasn't so sure if either one of them were ready for this.

"Uhm, N I-I don't know if th-this is something we should d-do, much less h-have me teach it to you," she stammered, her face a lovely shade of red now that one hand was on her breast, tantalizing her nipple between his fingers. "I-I'm just a-about as inexperienced a-as you are." She tried to pull his hand away, but the other hand snaked up her shirt, not allowing her to keep him from teasing her.

She had to cough into her hand for a moment.

"Are you really going to deny me this?" he asked her, pretending to sound hurt. His lips went for her throat, his teeth grazing over her skin.

"But... you're sick," she replied, his actions making it hard for her to think of a response. "I think... it would be... better... if you rested," she breathed, though she did nothing to stop him when he lowered one hand, wrapping it around her waist to steady her onto the bed. He had her lying down soon afterward.

"Don't think I don't know what you're trying at here," she grumbled, breathing a little easier now that he had pulled away from her neck and was no longer taunting sensitive areas.

"Oh? And exactly what am I attempting? Enlighten me," he inquired, looking down as her as he began inching her shirt off.

"I'm not going to have sex with you when you're delirious and trying to corner me into it." She put her hands over his to stop him, narrowing her eyes at him.

The moment she met his eyes, her oppositions were purely for the sake of denial, telling herself that she didn't want this quite yet.

"I'm quite conscious of what I'm doing, contrary to your belief," he replied with a chuckle, deciding that, if she was going to keep her shirt on, he would go for her flannel pants instead then. He toyed with the elastic for a moment, running his finger along it to stretch it, before he let it go and it snapped back quietly, starting to drag it down.

She knew she wasn't going to win this argument, nor could she lie to herself any longer. Her body didn't seem to be opposing in the slightest.

Touko still decided to retort anyway.

"I don't think you are at all, actually. I thought you were clueless about everything involving human interactions. You should stop now before you get stuck in something you know nothing about."

"For someone who's very adamant about not having sex, you're rather compliant."

She had lifted her knees to help him get her pants off. "Only because I know you're not going to stop, no matter what I do," she admitted with a grumble, surrendering. "Fine. Next lesson starts now."

He smirked as he placed a hand on her thigh, his palm gliding over smooth, creamy skin.

Her shirt was ditched before their lips met, both of his hands now at her waist. He licked at her lips and she parted them gladly, letting his tongue find hers.

When the kiss had to break, he returned to her neck, leaving another hickey near the faded one, sucking harder with each soft, near silent moan that escaped her lips. Satisfied with the dark maroon he created, he nipped down her neck until he reached her collarbone.

Feeling one hand fondle her breast, she gasped when his mouth enveloped the other, his tongue tauntingly flicking over her taut nipple. After pleasuring one for some time, he switched to the other, chuckling lightly as he heard her unsteady breathing.

She reached up to grab his hair, tangling her fingers in the pastel green mess. Touko tugged N's head up, crashing her lips onto his. As they were lip-locked again, his fingers glided down to her panties, hooking a thumb onto them and tugging them off. She helped him slide it off of her, chills running down her spine as he felt up her inner thigh. When he pulled away to look down at her body, studying the curves and plains that made up her body, she became self-conscious, sweeping his hand away from her thigh to close her legs and covering her chest with her arms.

She blushed lightly, looking off to the side to avoid his gaze, her bashfulness being expressed in a physical manner now. Sighing, he pressed his lips to his ear, just murmuring "Touko..." in that well-known exasperated manner before he nipped at the lobe, prying her arms open. It took a moment before she relented as she always did afterward, her arms at her sides. Moving away from her ear, he kissed down her neck again, continuing past her collarbone this time. As he reached her stomach, the butterfly kisses tickling her, she knew what he was going for.

He smirked to himself as he heard her breathing waver more and more as his kisses moved closer to her entrance. His hand reached it first though, her breath hitching as he slipped in a finger, hearing the groan she was reluctant to let out as he started to move his finger inside her. He bit down gently on her nub, her hips lifting off of the bed to meet his hand and his mouth. Not long after, he slid another finger in, her walls constricting around the digits, warmth spread onto them. He licked and nipped at her, her knees buckling and her heart slamming against her ribcage, making her weak to his actions.

All of these motions made her reach her climax, her juices spilling over his fingers, the walls tight around them as she let out a sharp, shrill cry. Her hands grabbed at the sheets, toes curling, pupils dilating. She sighed jaggedly when he pulled his fingers out of her, sitting up and panting lightly. When he rose himself up to meet her, she pushed him down on the bed, straddling his waist. Taking this small moment to catch her breath, she told him, "I thought... _I_... was the teacher here." Her eyes browsed down his body until she eventually found herself looking at the boxer briefs he had on, already having felt what was against her thigh before she saw it.

She was the one with a glint of deviousness in her eyes this time, laughing lightly when she saw the look on his face as the boxer briefs came off. She dropped the article of clothing to the floor, letting her hands lightly stroke him, hearing N sharply intake air. Her tongue flickered over the tip, taking the stiff member into her mouth. Her hands rubbed up and down what her mouth couldn't take, peering up at his face to see it contorted in ecstasy.

" _Nnggggh_ , Touko...," he told her after she had been sucking and licking at him noisily for some time, "I, _ah_ , I can't... I won't be able to hold on much longer...!" She felt the warmth spilling into her mouth, gathering up what she didn't catch onto her fingers, licking it off seductively as she looked up at him.

She prowled her way up his chest, nipping his neck roughly the way he had earlier, curling her hands up on his chest once she was face-to-face with him again. With her lips to his once again, he let his hands roam her body, then holding onto her waist to flip them over so that he could be once more.

His hands reached the inside of her thighs, spreading her legs open. Positioning himself between them, he pulled away, looking down at her. His senses were crazy with wanting, yearning to feel himself inside her. But he didn't allow himself that privilege, sensing that Touko had now become a bit tense. He could feel her desire, but he could also feel that she was just a bit hesitant, knowing it would hurt.

"We could stop now if you don't want to go any further," he murmured to her, leaning down and pressing, gentle, affectionate kisses to her neck to try and comfort her nerves a little.

She shook her head no and glanced over at him, stretching her neck out instinctively. She entangled a hand in his hair again, the other tracing a trail on his back. "I don't think either of us would be satisfied if we cut it short. And besides, you would be failing the lesson if we did," she told him with a slight chuckle, closing her eyes.

He smirked against her skin, hands sliding to her hips. She could feel her sides expand and shrink as she took a breath, attempting to rid herself of the anxiety she was feeling now. As his tip slowly entered her, she whimpered, the pain sharper than she had anticipated. Her nails dug into his skin, a broken, silent moan escaping opened lips as he pushed further into her.

Tears formed at the outer corners of her eyes and he kissed those corners, remaining still as she adjusted to being able to take all of him. After a few moments, he began thrusting, very gradually quickening his pace.

Every thrust produced a moan from her, the mix of pain and pleasure reaching her core. The sharp pain from before eventually dulled, letting her feel nothing but pure bliss. Her nails raked across his skin, the hand that was in his hair holding the strands tight.

His own heart pounding and his body burning, he put his lips to hers again, the kiss heated and fierce, more passionate than any of the kisses they had shared before. Her moans were muffled and saliva overflowed, tongues battling it out for dominance.

He had been careful at first as he moved inside her, afraid to break her delicate frame, but with what her actions seemed to tell him, especially after she had wrapped her legs around his waist to push him deeper into her, he was beckoned to thrust harder and faster now. She felt tight around him, her hips rising up like before to meet him.

Wanting to listen to her sounds of wanting clearly, he pulled his mouth from hers, attacking her neck to hear her cry out. She called his name repeatedly, the noise bringing him just a little closer to the edge of climaxing. The sounds he himself was making, his own heavy breathing and lustful groaning, caused her indescribable ecstasy.

Overcome with the emotion flooding her body, she was the first to orgasm, a single note ringing out for just a second before it became ragged, eyes rolling to the back of her head as her back bowed and she gripped him as tightly as she could.

He climaxed not long afterward, a groan with her name escaping his lips as he filled her with his warmth. He kept himself inside her for a moment as they gazed at each other, both panting as the adrenaline wore off, her hands loosening her hold on him while his let go of her hips.

She made a small gasp as he pulled out, flopping over to the side to lie next to her. As she turned on her side to face him, he had gathered some of her hair in his hands that had spilled all over the pillows, twirling the strands around his fingers.

Because the heat of the moment had died, the realization that she was naked before him and vice versa, having taken each others' virginity, hit her. She coughed a few times, her heart unable to take the sudden shock. He wrapped his arms around her, one hand tracing over the outline of her body, leaving goosebumps in their wake.

Her face grew warm and she coughed a little more into her hand, causing his face to crease with worry. "We should have stopped. It was too much for you, wasn't it?" He closed his eyes and his arm tightened around her, able to feel her heart rattle her ribcage.

"N-no, I'm just a little dazed. I think I would have regretted it if we did." Touko made the hand she coughed into into a fist, hiding what was on it from N. "I'm alright." Lifting her head from under his chin, she looked up at him and kissed his cheek, offering him a small smile.

He was still concerned.

Tucking her head back under, she put her forehead to his chest, curling up against him, their legs entwined together. Mere minutes later, she fell asleep.

He stayed up, making invisible markings on her, skimming the flawless skin with his fingerpads. Eventually, he trailed his way to her arm, seeing one of her hands in a fist. Grabbing her arm gently enough so that she wouldn't stir, he unraveled her fingers, seeing the scarlet red that had been splashed onto her hand.

All he could do was sigh, burdened with the knowledge that his greatest fear seemed to be coming true. He kissed the center of her palm, placing her arm back on the bed.

She was running out of time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: I had to ask quite a few friends if this was alright before I finally felt okay enough to accept it. xD; I TRY TOO HARD FOR YOU GUYS. OTL
> 
> And yes, you may bawww and get mad at me. c: BUT THIS IS MY STORY AND SHE WILL SUFFER IF I WANT HER TO.
> 
> {Psst. In those lyrics below, I'm pretty sure they're talking about vodka, buuuut I don't know the language too well, so I'll let an expert be the judge of that. d:}
> 
> "YOU & I hazama between BETTORI bed in ochiru RANDEBUU  
> Ara-ra goku amai ABANCHUURU Fly Heaven  
> Chidoriashi ireru VOOTOKA WAN, TSUU  
> {The interval of YOU&I  
> Between stickily and falling in bed, rendezvous  
> Oh, or in a sweet prison adventure?  
> Fly Heaven  
> Tottering these steps into a 1,2 1,2}"  
> Matryoshka - Zebra and Hashiyan's cover


	11. Needle & Thread

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was originally not gonna reupload this at such a late time but here we are
> 
> \----
> 
> ... /doesn't have much to say this time around  
> OTL
> 
> It might take a little longer for me to chuck out the next chapter because I'm gonna be doing my summer work. Stupid IB.

The world looked bleary as she slowly opened her eyes, her throat feeling as if it were rubbed raw by sandpaper. When she put her hand out to push his face away, just like she used to, she noticed that she couldn't really push him away, her slick skin up against his.

She retracted her hand and blushed, scowling when she heard his chuckle. "Shut up, you," she grumbled, untangling herself from him and pushing herself up onto her hands. She winced slightly as she brought her knees up, thigh muscles protesting as they stretched.

It was still rather hard for her to believe that they had had sex just the day before.

Just as he was propping himself up onto his elbows and she was about to get of of the bed, the door burst open and the eccentric Anthea came through, spouting some nonsense asking Touko about how N was feeling.

After a shriek an some bundling under covers, the mistress looked at the two of them lying on the bed, one shamefaced and suspiciously covering herself, not meeting her eye, the other sitting up and giving her a respectful nod in greeting.

A cursory glance at the floor littered with clothes and a knocked-over basin told her all she needed to know. If it weren't for the ace that N was up and watching, she would have responded differently. For now, though, she instead asked, "How are you feeling, Master N? Better?" with a bow.

"Yes, I suppose so, Anthea. Another day or two and I should be able to return to my duties."

"Goo to hear, my lord." She noticed the trainer looking her way, getting the feeling the girl was none too pleased about her appearance.

Since she was in here for no other reason than to check up on the king, she bowed, taking her leave politely. Before she closed the door though, she winked at the brunette, a knowing smirk stretching the side of her face when it produced the response she wanted to see.

Once the door closed, the trainer sighed heavily, running a hand through her hair and muttering about how she wasn't going to hear the end of this later. "I'm... I'm going to shower," she told him, not looking his way as she said it, climbing off of the bed. She felt hot, sticky, and sweaty, but it didn't bother her like it would have had it not happened the way it did.

She froze in place and turned around when she heard him following her, having a hard time keeping her eyes from straying any lower than his chest.

" **I'm sure that if you told him you wanted more, he'd be more than willing to oblige.** " ' _Stupid conscious and its stupid whisperings,_ ' she thought, mentally brushing the voice away. "What do you think you're doing? You're still sick, aren't you? You shouldn't be up." She faced the bathroom door again and started walking, only to stop once more because he had managed to catch up to her, wrapping his arms around her waist.

"Do couples shower together?" he asked her, a hand skimming over her stomach. "Err, yes, sometimes, but, uhm, you should... I wanted, err, to shower... by myself," she muttered, glad that she wasn't facing him.

She had forgotten about what was on her right hand, but it quickly came back to her when he reached for it, making a swift motion to pull her hand away and clench it into a fist so that he couldn't see.

"Why so? Are we not a couple?" She could hear the pout in his voice as he pressed his lips to her neck.

"Okay, now you're just abusing the power you have over me," she mumbled under her breath to herself, shaking her head. "Alright, alright, fine. But don't think this will be an everyday thing. Like I said, it's only sometimes."

"Then we'll only do it sometimes."

She glanced back at him with narrowed eyes and pinched lips, not appreciating the smart remark, though she knew he was just replying honestly and she was sure he didn't know that that could have been taken as a witty comment.

At least, that's what she believed this time around. She was also sure he knew when he was being discreetly cheeky.

He followed obediently, the two stepping into the standing shower, the glass doors exposing them both.

She turned on the water, trying not to let her thoughts wander to the subject of the boy that had accompanied her, hand creeping up her back. The first thing she did was wash the blood from her hand before he would find it and ask questions.

When she turned around to tell him to stop, she saw the concerned expression on his face, his hand reaching out to her arm, caressing her palm once he was holding onto it. "I know what you were hiding, Touko. I saw it yesterday after you fell asleep. You aren't getting any better yourself, are you?" he murmured, the trainer looking away because she lacked a response to his question.

As he was about to continue, they heard the room door open unnecessarily loudly with a bang as it hit the aligned wall, the stomped steps resonating.

There was really only one person that that could have been and they both knew it. She was suddenly filled with dread, resisting the urge to cough now that her heart decided to freak out with her.. If he was near the bathroom door, he would hear it. That was an event neither of them wanted, or needed, to experience.

"Idiot child! I thought I told you to get rid of this equipment!" Pause. "And are these _her clothes_? I distinctly remember requesting that you get rid of anything that belonged to her!" he snarled, on the hunt for his son. When he realized that the shower was running and N was nowhere to be found, he went up to the bathroom door, slamming his fist on it.

"Hurry and get out!"

The girl jumped and froze in place, her hands over her burning throat. The possibility of being caught was extremely high, too much for her to bear. He could see her body shivering, even though the water was quite warm.

"I'll be out soon, father!" He responded, reluctantly having to leave her after her washed himself off, having given himself a time limit of five minutes since his father's patience wore thin quick. When he had turned off the water, he handed her a towel. She seemed to be dazed and light-headed from practically having to hold her breath this entire time to keep from coughing, mechanically wrapping the towel around herself.

Once he was fresh, the Plasma king opened and closed the bathroom door swiftly, but only fast enough to the point where it wouldn't raise his father's suspicions, greeting him with a nod of respect.

"I believe I told you that the next time I came here, I didn't want to see those things. And her clothes? You _kept_ them? You disgust me," Ghetsis snapped, quite expressive about his distaste for anything that belonged to Touko and his son's "love" for her.

"Anthea and Concordia found a use for it since I've become sick," he lied, wincing internally. "It will all be gone in a few days. I found her clothes around here not too long ago as I was cleaning. I kept spares for her in this room while she was still in the hospital wing." He was given a skeptical look, but that was to be expected.

Buying the excuses, his father then said, "You have until the end of this week to return to working. Fail to show up and I will make sure you will never be allowed a second of rest, regardless of if you become sick again. Do you understand?"

"Yes, father."

"Don't expect this sort of lenience from me ever again. You don't appear to be sick, but I will heed the words of those women." The Sage obviously had a problem with being advised not to inflict any damage to his son. "Remember what I said," he told him before he stalked out of the room.

Seconds after the door closed, his light emerald eyes glanced at the bathroom door, hearing the water running once again. The nearer he got to it, the more audible the hacking became.

Just the sound of it seemed violent. He couldn't imagine how much her body was being wracked by the forcefulness of air being expelled from her lungs. He didn't have to imagine for long though, as he had dashed to the door the second he heard her, seeing her leaning over the linoleum floor, one hand on the flooring and the other over her mouth.

Diluted blood swirled around the drain before seeping through the holes, disappearing.

Once the last of her coughs shoved its way out of her body, she sat up, slumping back against the tiled wall. She was wheezing, her breathing heavy, placing one arm over her eyes as she waiting for the agonizing fire in her chest to smolder.

The towel she was wearing was soaked to the brim, stained with blood in a few places.

He joined her in the shower, the last thing on his mind about how drenched his clothes would become. Sitting down next to her, N put an arm around her, rubbing her arm when she placed her head on his shoulder for comfort.

Touko was thankful for the running water. There was too much of it for him to be able to tell that her tears were blending with it, disguising her fears.

Her fear of Ghetsis. Her fear of burdening N. Her fear of never seeing her friends or her pokémon again.

Her fear of dying this very day.

* * *

"Mister Touya, I don't believe I ever said you were allowed to tell others about our plan. The more people discover it, the less I can trust either you or them." Concordia sighed heavily, seeing a woman that looked suspiciously like an older version of Touko standing right beside the boy.

"Heh, sorry. When I talked to you yesterday, it turns out that she'd been listening because I was at her house and when I hung up, she asked me to explain..."

The blonde sighed and looked to the brunette woman. "I take it you've decided to speak to me to tell me that you do not appro—"

"Actually, I'm here to offer my help. I want my daughter back where she belongs and I don't appreciate that she's hanging around that disgusting king of yours... err, no offense."

"None taken," the goddess of peace said politely, nodding respectfully. She herself had no qualms with the relationship, but it was obvious that these two did; one out of jealousy, the other out of overprotectiveness and ignorance.

How close-minded.

"I trust that you two will be the only ones besides myself to know?" All she did was raise an eyebrow in question, but the feeling behind the look gave the pair chills.

"Y-yes, ma'am," Touya replied, both the mother and the good friend relieved when she stopped staring at them like that.

"Now, I already had a few things in mind for what we're to do, but now that her mother wants to participate, it seems I'll have to alter some things... don't look so guilty, Mister Touya. It's alright, really." The sheepish look the boy gave her amused her greatly. It was rare that emotion was ever shown at the castle. Touko was basically the only source of amusement and N was slowly becoming more expressive.

It was a shame the girl had to leave so soon.

As they talked, the mistress wrote own everything they said, in case she needed to look back and rethink an idea they discussed. When the conversation ended, she had to hide away the notebook she wrote in, knowing that, if anyone found it, there would be consequences. This also meant that she had to hide the Xtransceiver after she used it as well.

She clicked down the hall on her heeled feet, her turn for checking upon the couple arriving. Thinking over what Anthea had told her before she spoke to Touya and the girl's mother, she couldn't help but feel a bit of guilt for planning the escape that would separate them.

"Concordia!" She heard, turning around and recognizing the voice as Anthea's before catching sight of the other attendant. "I was just on my way to the master's room, so do not—"

"That's not what I'm here for. I was just told that Ghetsis stopped by N's room. From what I heard, it seems he didn't find out about Touko, but the girl has definitely been paler than usual and the damage that the sudden appearance of his dad could do her heart... you should hurry."

The goddess of love watched as the other goddess broke out into a run, knowing her concern for the trainer was great. Neither of them would have said it, but she had taken in a place in their hearts. This was especially since their king seemed to care for her excessively so. His affection was contagious.

When the woman came through the room door, she saw N standing next to the bed, his clothes damp, Touko sitting up on it, looking more sickly than usual. When she looked at the floor, the clothing that Anthea had said was on the floor was gone, the only cloth on the floor a bloodied, also damp, towel. The trainer waved with a saddened smile, coughing just a bit.

As she approached them, she saw the spots and smears of blood in various places on her pajamas as well. "Her medication dosage needs to be upped," he said, his head turning to the woman's direction, but his eyes remaining on his girlfriend, with her avoiding his anxious stare.

"Is the medication having an opposite effect? Or is it no longer working for her? Should we switch her to different one, my lord?"

"I don't know. Just find something that will keep her heart rate down, if you please." His head reverted back to its default position. Though she could only see the side of his face, she saw the distress, which the brunette seemed to be shying away from.

This seemed to be a completely different atmosphere than the one Anthea had described before the Xtransceiver chat.

"I'll research some other alternatives and see what other things I could do," she said with a bow, taking his nod as a cue to leave and to her part to solve this problem.

Now she wasn't too sure about whether her plan was such idea, but she had already placed the thoughts into her associates' minds.

She had already reached the point of no return. It would be better for everyone I she were away from the potential risks like the one the pair were faced with not too long ago.

At least, that's what she told herself. And as long as she could convince herself of that, there was no need to go back on the plan.

When Concordia left, there was an uncomfortable silence, Touko twiddling her thumbs, keeping her head turned away from him. Eventually, this grew to be too difficult, her ocean eyes reluctantly looking his way, locking eyes with him.

She could see the anxiety he was feeling. Guilt washed over her, causing her to reach out and wrap her arms around him, grabbing his damp shirt tighter when he returned the action. "Your condition was already worsening before this, wasn't it? It may look like you went from getting better to suddenly getting worse, but you knew, didn't you?" he asked, his voice level. It was a normal, honest inquiry, just as all his other questions ever were.

She nodded, sighing heavily, hating how he could read her like a book. Pulling away after holding onto him for a little while longer, she said, "You should change out of those clothes. If you stay in wet clothing for too long, you'll get sicker."

He obliged with no objection, as he always did. When he returned, he came back without the white top layer, hands in his pockets as he walked back to her. Couple with the fact that he had had no hat on since he'd gotten sick, she couldn't help but stare at him. She'd never really _looked_ at him in detail until yesterday's late afternoon, but now that she had, she found herself to be mesmerized, becoming even more enamored with him.

But then again, this could have been from the event that had taken place.

She'd apparently been staring for too long because, when he was back at the bedside, he had to snap her out of her reverie. "... Touko? Is there something wrong?" He tilted his head to the side in curiosity, smirking a little when he finally caught her attention and she became embarrassed, averting her eyes and clearing her throat.

"No, no, you're fine, nothing's wrong." She made sure that her face was clear before looking at him again. He sat down on the edge of the bed beside her so that they could see eye-to-eye, literally speaking, of course.

Since they were waiting on Concordia, Touko thought for a moment before coming up with a way to kill time. "New lesson today. … And no, it doesn't involve anything that we did yesterday; don't look so eager."

He pouted when she put his spirits down, but he listened in anyway.

"This is actually more important than all the other things I've taught you. They're three little words that apparently carry a lot more weight than anything else you could possibly ever say to someone." She held up three fingers, tapping the tips against her bottom lip.

"And these three words are?"

"Take a guess. I'm sure you know the phrase; it's a very widely used phrase and everyone should know it. "Here, I'll even give you a hint: first letter of the first word is only one letter, second word starts with an 'l,' and last one starts with a 'y.'" She looked at him expectantly.

He just looked at her with puzzlement, completely clueless.

She put her face in her palm. "You've got to be kidding me. You know the very sensitive parts of a woman and all this shit about sex, and yet, you don't know one stupid little phrase, three stupid little words..."

N frowned slightly, saying, "Well, this is the reason why I asked you to stay and educate me in the first place. Would you like to tell me what these three words are?"

"I love you."

The both exchange a baffled look, one unintentionally saying it rather bluntly, the other unable to remember the last time someone ever said that to him.

"I—I—err, I didn't mean to say that to you—uh, well, I did, but I was just telling you what the phrase was—not that I don't love you because I _do_ ; I just wasn't prepared to say it just yet and—"

A lovely little coughing fit stopped her bashful rambling, causing the heart monitor to go off. He was quick to react, grabbing the towel that had fallen to the floor and handing it to her, feeling useless after that as he was only watch her hack into the cloth.

She put it down with a sigh after she wiped off her mouth, looking at him sheepishly, the expression changing to knitted brows and pursed lips.

He was obviously shaken by what just happened. She could tell he couldn't take much more of this.

Anyone that was witness to her deteriorating heart could only handle so much of it before thoughts of her slowly dying before their eyes started tearing them apart. And for N, it seemed that her condition was taking chunks out of his stability instead, the king having never been subject to this much emotional compromise over a human before.

"Maybe it would be best if we didn't use that phrase?" He grabbed one of her hands worriedly, the other on her chest. He became only slightly relieved when he felt that her heart was no longer overexcited, ignoring the fact that the heart monitor was doing that for them.

"That's not going to happen every time either of us says it to the other, you know," she muttered, face warming a bit since he hadn't moved either of his hands. Touko saw his mouth was opening his mouth to question her increased heart rate, so she jumped on it before he could. "You figured this out a while ago; you touch me and my heart rate spikes. Relax."

She rolled her eyes at his still skeptical stare.  
"And you didn't seem upset by me saying it either."

"Err, I-I wasn't displeased upon hearing it, no..."

It was her turn to smirk at the others' embarrassed expression. Though it would have been more satisfying if he looked away like she always did, that would have been out of character for him.

"It's settled then. We are now using the phrase." She laced her fingers with his since they were still holding hands, grinning cheekily.

He looked away for a moment then, taking his hand away from her chest to place it over her mouth, trying to recover from her smile faster.

She couldn't help but laugh. "You have to say it too," she told him, pulling her hand away from his and placing both hands son his cheeks, looking straight at him. He looked a little frustrated, opening his mouth for a second, then closing it again. "I... love you," he finally murmured, practically jumping on her when the heart monitor's beeping increased just a bit in volume.

"N, calm down." She grabbed his arms and shook her head. "That's a good sign. In fact, you should have been more worried if my heart _didn't_ do that." He noticed that she wasn't looking at him directly anymore, so he took her word for it. For now, anyway.

"It seems it truly is a weighty phrase," he muttered observationally, lifting his arm and kissing her hand. She scowled and stared at her lap, but she didn't pull away. "As long as it doesn't instigate your coughing fits, I suppose it's alright." He turned their arms so that she lost grip and he was the one holding her arms. Dropping one, he brushed his lips against the wrist of the other.

"Touko."

"Hm?"

"I love you."

She yanked her arm away and glared at him accusingly, albeit with a blush. "Don't abuse it and thing that it'll get you into my pants," she grumbled, jumping when he pressed a kiss to her neck.

Luckily, Concordia came back through the door then. She was holing a bottle of pills, coming up to them and handing the container to her king. "These should stop stop the coughing, my lord. She has to take these twice a day though." Cue a grimace from the trainer. "You should see the results in a few days to about a week."

"Thank you very much," he told the blond, handing the bottle to his girlfriend.

"Is there anything else you need, Master N or Touko?"

"No, that will be a—actually..." He rose up from the bed and moved away from where she was lying, waving the mistress over. The brunette watched with a scowl as they whispered amongst themselves, glancing at her every so often, before their conversation ended.

She felt she should be concerned though, having caught a pained look N gave her during one of those glances. Something was wrong. It was too obvious for her not to think so.

When Concordia left once again, N could see the interrogative look on her face. "You'll see soon enough," he told her, chuckling when she huffed. She didn't encroach on the subject of the quick stare he had given her earlier, knowing that if she asked, he wouldn't want to expand on it.

Back at the bed, he pointed to the bottle that was in her lap, between her hands. "Concordia said to take the first one now since it's still morning. She recommends taking the first one in the morning and the other at night before you sleep. The side effects are drowsiness and dizziness, so I'd recommend resting after you take it." He twined his fingers in her hair, suddenly putting his hand over the top of the container after she opened it.

"Wait. She said that you need to eat something before you do that. It will hurt your stomach and liver if you don't." Food was something he had forgotten to request from the mistress.

"I'll get that." He hurriedly ran out of the room, reminding himself that he wasn't supposed to be out, so he couldn't be caught by his father or any of the Sages

If caught, it wouldn't possibly end well, and there were already enough complications to sort out.

* * *

Touko was sleeping quite soundly, but she stirred when she felt a small weight on her chest, short, prickly hair rubbing against her cheek.

The last time she checked, N did not have facial hair.

Forcing herself to wake up with a groan, she opened her eyes to see Bolt, her Emolga, sitting on her, hearing the cries of other pokémon when she sat up.

" _Whoa_ , okay, I don't think having almost all of you guys out at once is safe!" She was truly happy to see them all here, but they were being unnecessarily loud. "Sssssh! Quiet down, you guys! If anyone hears you outside of this room, you'll be taken away again!"

She sighed with relief when they finally settled down.

"I did tell them to stay quiet when I let them out, but I didn't think they'd become so rambunctious when you woke up. But then again, they've all missed you terribly."

She had just noticed that N was sitting at the foot of the bed, giving her pokémon the space to crowd around her.

When she looked up at him, she watched the pokéball he was tossing repeatedly into the air, seeing the pattern that was on it.

It was her Master Ball, the one that contained Scorch.

"You're... you're not going to let him out, are you?" Her face creased with tension, her gaze switching between her boyfriend and the room door.

He chuckled at her expression, still finding it impressive that she cared so much about her companions. "The ceilings are more than high enough to accommodate him," he assured her, pressing the central button and throwing it into the air one last time, the Reshiram being released from the capsule. She cringed, awaiting the piercing cry, but all the dragon-type pokémon did was bring his snout down to her level to hug it. Before Touko could ask, he told her, "As I said, I told them all to stay quiet when they came out of their respective pokéball."

She looked at him with surprise, only able to nod and murmur a thanks since she was currently being mauled by her pokémon. She hugged the Yin dragon tight, getting a warm feeling when he made a low hum, unsure if she was going to be able to let go.

N watched in amusement as they interacted, the trainer petting them, singing to them, scolding them, expressing how much she loved and missed them.

His emotions slowly turns from affection and adoration to disguised desperation and depression. Ever since his talk with Concordia, he hadn't been able to get her words out of his head.

" _I can only guarantee that this will sedate her heart for a week or two. The more medication she takes, the more her body builds up a tolerance to it, negating the aiding effects. I despise having to be the one to tell you this, my lord, but soon, whatever she takes will not be able to help her._ "

He had to cherish every moment he had with her.

It was only a matter of time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Tragedy is fun. c:
> 
> "There is no monster  
> If I lose you  
> There is no needle & thread  
> That will mend you"  
> Needle & Thread - Psapp


	12. Brick

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> we are nearing the end of this story and also reuploading it all  
> {thank fuck}
> 
> \----
> 
> Welp.
> 
> That was quite a long absence, wasn't it? My bad.
> 
> School got busy, familial problems came up {and they're still around, but that's not important.}
> 
> Maybe this chapter makes up for that? ... it probably won't, oh well.
> 
> In other news: aw yeah, updates at 3am, how cool am I. :v

A light breeze passed through the town of Lacunosa, rustling the trees, giving the town the quaint, peaceful feel it was famous for. Touko closed her eyes with her hands folded behind her back, able to pick up the tinge of sea in the air, a sea shore not too far off. The scent reminded her of home, able to feel the breeze tickle her skin since she was allowed to wear her trainer's clothes once again this time, but intentionally leaving her hat behind.

N walked beside her, noting that she seemed unfazed by what she was just told.

Faked ignorance gave only a false sense of bliss. You could only run from reality for so long before you had to stop and it caught up with you.

[ _On the rare occasion that N was actually there when she woke up, they only had short discussions, avoiding the subject that truly mattered._

_Bloodied sheets spoke for themselves, though._

_On this particular morning, N was holding Touko's hands, noticing how the little color she once had that showed life was gradually fading from her skin._

_"Touko, I think you may become transparent soon," he commented, kissing one hand, trailing them up to her wrist. "You need another trip outside."_

_"And whose fault is that?" she retorted with a chuckle, both pretending it was merely because she hardly went out these days. She could only watch his actions for a few moments before she had to look away, deciding now would be a great time to study the sheets. "You keep me trapped in here for your sexual gratification." She shook her head and tutted. "Anyway, I hear Lacunosa's nice."_

_He scowled at that comment, letting go of one of her hands and tipping her chin up. "I loved you before that," he said, sounding a bit defensive._

_It always warmed her from the inside out whenever he used those three little words._

_"I was only kidding and you know that," she mumbled, feeling his lips just barely brush against her own. Testing something out, she pulled away just a bit, teasing him with just-barely kisses. "The sex is just a bonus."_

_She couldn't help but laugh at his expression, caressing his face._

_"You take everything too seriously, N. I thought you had at least some sense of humor in you." She continued to pull away from his advances, leaning back until she was against the bed, with him coming down with her._

_"And that's why you're here." His hands were on either side of her waist now, his head dipping down to place kisses on her neck._

_Her only response was "Mm" before clothes were discarded._ ]

The couple walked alongside the forest surrounding the town, seeing the townspeople that were out and about, ignorant to the troubles of the pair.

This silence between them was unbearable and it was easy to tell that neither of them enjoyed it. N knew she wasn't usually this quiet, especially not after being told something as heavy and serious as this.

"Touko, I—"

"I can't say I'm surprised that this is happening," she spoke, cutting him off abruptly, adding a humorless chuckle at the end. Her voice cracked in the middle of the last word, the sour note causing him to be on edge, ready to smother her in his arms if she were to break down. When he glanced at her to see her expression, he saw that her face was skewed into a forced smile, eyes watching the blades of grass at her feet as she shuffled along.

"I figured it would come to this eventually, though. Ischaemic heart disease. Even the very name sounds fatal. It's only a matter of time before I just drop dead."

She stopped where she stood while he went forward a few more steps, stopping as well when he realized she wasn't walking beside him anymore.

Observing her features carefully, he witnessed the transformation of her expression. Very delicately, the fake smile was cleared from her face in an instant, creases slowly folding into her then-flawless skin. Within seconds, tears streamed down her cheeks and her knees buckled while her hands shielded her face, the fragile girl falling to the ground.

His reaction was almost immediate, rushing to her side, gathering her in his arms. His touch was feather-light, afraid that, if he were to hold her any tighter, she would shatter into pieces.

He wasn't sure if he'd be able to piece her back together if that happened.

When she felt him holding her, she started sobbing harder, gripping onto him for dear life. "I don't want to leave, N! I'm not ready to die! There's so much more for me to live for!" Her shouts were muffled into his shirt, but for him, they were loud and clear. Finding that he had no idea how to comfort her on this subject, he settled for just rubbing her back with one hand, the other clutching the back of her head.

Time seemed to fly by as her bawls subsided, reduced to stray tears and little sniffles. N felt Touko's hold on him loosen only by a bit, while only adjusting herself slightly to lean against him better.

"Sorry about your shirt," she murmured, looking up only a bit to stare at his chest, attempting to smooth out the cloth.

"I have plenty of other clothes at home, Touko," he replied with just a slight smile, taking his hands and placing them on her cheeks, wiping away rogue tears with his thumbs. "I'm quite certain that your crisis is of more importance than the cleanliness of my shirt. Just my hunch, anyway."

She couldn't help but chuckle a little, glancing away when most of her mood returned to what it had been formerly. "Is that the reason you gave me that look two weeks ago?" She asked, referencing to when he had talked to Concordia. That pitiful look stuck with her and it had rattled around in her head, leaving her with feelings of immense guilt and concern. She was curious, of course, but she knew that if she pursued that curiosity, he shouldn't be able to handle what she discovered.

And here was N, serving it to her on a scalding hot plate, using nothing to brace her from the harsh truth of it all.

She both appreciated and despised his blunt honesty.

He looked at her with a bit of surprised, having thought he erased the look from his face and glanced away quickly enough for her not to notice. "It... it was. Concordia was just about as brash with her delivery, if not more. I apologize for not being able to tell you in a gentler way." One hand slid up from her cheek to her hair, his fingers combing through the locks.

"There isn't exactly an easy way to tell someone that they're dying. Don't feel bad about it. I'm just glad that you had the decency to tell me." She leaned forward, putting her head against his chest, closing her eyes as she was being soothed.

"I suppose not... but I figured it wouldn't be as painful if I told you in a calming atmosphere. I was relieved when you chose Lacunosa."

And how right he was.

"I think it's best if we enjoy the day and not dote on what I told you. What will happen will not happen anytime in the near future. You still have time. Let's just enjoy the rest of the day here. It's not often that you go out these days." He pulled away from her, but took her hand, standing up and bringing her to her feet with him. "Do you think you could do that?"

She nodded, tucking her loose strands of hair behind her ear. "But what about your shirt? You can't go around like that, especially if you consider the fact that you're a king. Kings aren't supposed to look sloppy."

Everything else on him was fine, except for the two shirts he was wearing. The white overshirt was wrinkled and a little stretched out from her hands holding onto it so tightly. The black, long-sleeve underneath was stained with her saltine tears and saliva.

"They are merely shirts," N said with a shrug. "If you would rather me not wear them..." He shrugged off the first shirt, peeling the second one off of himself.

Touko stared at him in shock for a moment, a little less bashful about looking at him, shaking her head in disapproval after. "You can't go around Lacunosa shirtless either!" She threw her hands up in frustration, holding a hand out once she put the other arm down. "Give me your wallet if you have one." Right before he placed it in her hand, she closed it into a fist. "No, wait, never mind," she began as she started walking away. "My wallet is in these pants." She patted herself down, feeling it and pulling it out, triumph on her face.

He jogged up to her and grabbed her arm before she could move any further. "No. I will not allow you to spend your own hard-earned poké."

She peered over her shoulder at him, scowling as she shook her head no. "Think of it as a gift from me for taking advantage of you all this time."

"But you aren't—"

She turned around and put a finger over his lips, a slight smirk on her face. "Please. I want to repay at least a fraction of all that you've done for me. Just let me do this one simple thing. That's all I ask for, okay?"

The fact that she had turned to face him completely and was now practically leaning against him made it hard to object, much less reply at all. She had put her other hand on his chest and her head was turned up, lips brushing his jaw.

"So?"

"I... a-alright," he muttered, having to resist the urges he felt. They were rather hard to control these days, what with her feeling the need to tease him relentlessly, eventually becoming willing if he pursued it long enough.

She gave him a wide grin, peeling herself from him as she went about merrily. "Stay here, okay?"

He watched her go with a smile of his own, amused to see her look so joyful over something so trivial.

But that smile soon turned to worry, a dark thought nagging him in the back of his mind. She was being taken away from everyone her loved her dearly and all they could do was watch as her body slowly deteriorated, the girl disappearing metaphorically as she was physically.

But the worst thought of all was the one that was breaking him, torturing him for what he had done. For the first time in his life...

The king had lied willingly, of his own accord.

* * *

"Good morning, sunshine! Did you sleep well? Or should I ask about your lack of it?"

Touko woke up bleary-eyed, her hair a swamp above her and her body entangled in sheets. She groaned at the comment, slowly lifting herself up from the bed, running a hand through her hair, loosening knots. "Can I go even _one_ morning without you commenting like that? It's not like we have sex every night."

Anthea looked at her skeptically.

"We don't, honestly." She rolled her eyes, taking the sheet with her to cover herself up as she went to the bathroom to wash up.

When she reemerged, she saw that the goddess of love gave her a little smirk, as per usual, but her face didn't stay in its usual cheeky expression much longer. Instead, a rather serious expression replaced it, the brunette now facing the emotion of worry. "So I heard you two went to Lacunosa," she commented, voice uncharacteristically hushed. "He consulted us before deciding to tell you," she added, sure that the girl would know just what she was talking about.

It took the trainer a moment to adjust to this sudden mood change. "Err, yes... why do you ask if you already know what he told me?"

"You seem to be taking it rather well," she then said, watching her reactions carefully.

"I'm not going to let it get to me. What's done is done and the only thing I can do now is make the most of the time I have left."

Though she said this, it was easy to see the distress she felt about this. She was strong, but even she had her moments of weakness.

And now was especially so.

Touko sat down at the edge of the bed, sighing heavily as she put her face in her hands. "I knew I'd die young, but... I didn't think it would be _quite_ this soon."

The mistress walked up to her, putting a hand on her lower thigh and patting it. "We'll be here for you to the very end, dear. Don't carry all this stress on your own. It will break you. As much as I tease you, I do love you, honey. I probably can't compare to the king, but there will always be a spot for you in my heart."

Eyes watering, she peeked out from her fingers, expecting the goddess of love to be wearing one of her infamous scheming smirks, or a "Did you think I was serious?" But instead, she met a warm, but worrying, look, her arms held out.

She let herself fall into the embrace, the older woman stroking her hair and swaying her from side-to-side. "You changed our king for the better. He's not only busy with work, but he's been returning the pokémon we've captured to their former trainers. He didn't want us telling you just yet, but I figured you should know now why he always returns exhausted but proud. And it's all thanks to you. Concordia and I could never make that up to you no matter how hard we try, and for that, we are forever thankful. An eternity of gratitude would never suffice for all that you've done for us."

The ocean- eyed girl didn't know how many tears she was going to shed between now and her apparent death, but she hoped she would be all cried out soon; the way everyone was giving her assurance sounded much, too much, like goodbyes, wrenching her heart and throwing her emotions into a flurry of activity.

These feelings were intensified because of a such a serious speech coming from the pink-haired woman, who was always poking fun at her, always making perverse jokes, a woman she never fully trusted.

All of that changed with this one simple, meaningful action. She never once thought that she could be so serious.

And yet, here she was, offering her words of consolation, soothing her as she sobbed.

"You don't have to bear this alone. I'm here, Touko. I know there are some things you don't want to tell the king because you don't want to hurt him. I'm here for that too, not just Concordia. I know I was never really straight-faced with you, but I can be if you need me to.

The mention of the blonde attendant brought a scowl to her face, the goddess of peace not being very peaceful at all as of late. Though she stopped bringing up the idea of escaping, she was looking very crafty these days asking her questions which she would have thought had no significance whatsoever. And she was sure they both knew to tread carefully around each other.

She was released a little while later, the trainer cleaning herself up from that episode of hers. "Thank you, Anthea," she murmured, attempting to give her a sincere smile through her splotchy face and eyes light red from strain. "There's a lot you've done for me as well and I wish I could find a way to give even half of that back." Even though she was subject to taunts by Anthea and Concordia was currently grinding her gears, there was no question about the assistance she had received these past few months by both women.

"If you really want to pay _me_ back, you could always wear that lingerie set I gave you to wear for the king."

And there was the Anthea she knew and {didn't quite} love again.

"I can't believe I bought everything you just said. I should have taken it all with a grain of salt."

"Touko, darling, I really did mean what I said! Is it wrong to try and lighten the mood?"

"Like that? Yes."

But she couldn't help but smile.

* * *

She hated silence. Incredibly so.

It was worse when there was tension crackling in the air, just waiting to be ignited.

Concordia and Touko kept to themselves, curious of what the other was thinking about.

As the brunette was left to dwell on her life thus far, she thought of the trip to Lacunosa just yesterday. The smell of the sea left her with nostalgic feelings, memories of her childhood at Nuvema leaving her with some feelings of emptiness, a desire filling her to revisit those days. Her train of thought then led her to remember her very own home, and her mother, now all alone that had already been ridiculously lonely since her father left.

The realization dawned on her that, if anything were to happen to her, her mother would automatically pin the blame on N. And she really didn't think her mother needed to think any lesser of him than she already did.

Without saying anything to the other female in the room, she began a search for her Xtransceiver, reminded of the fact that it had been missing for over two weeks now.

Seeing the sudden, searching movements of the trainer, the attendant dared to ask, "Err, Touko, are you looking or something?"

"My Xtransceiver," she said flatly, not looking up from the draw she was currently sifting through.

The goddess of peace now stood frigidly, also surprised that the girl wanted it all of a sudden, after she hadn't inquired about it since the day it had gone "missing."

"Is it not here?"

"There's a reason why I'm _looking for it_ ," she remarked snidely, glancing up this time to give her a stern look.

The woman frowned slightly at this, heading to the door. "i shall see if I can't get you a replacement."

"I don't want a repl—" The door shut before she could continue, leaving her to sigh. "I want my own," she muttered to herself in stead.

Within the span of time that Concordia was gone, Touko had searched every nook and cranny for it, tiring her heart out. She coughed into the towel that was now sitting next to her as she sat down on the bed and moped, grumbling unhappily about how she couldn't find it.

"Have you found it?" the blonde asked when she returned, already knowing what the answer would be, but asking to keep the trainer's suspicions low.

"No."

She work a faked frown this time, walking over to the couch in the room and taking a seat there, staring back at her. "Do you have anywhere in particular that you think it might be located?"

"I checked everywhere and everything when I looked for where it might be. _Everything_. It's nowhere to be found." She sighed, following it up with, "Did you find a replacement?"

"Unfortunately, I couldn't. My apologies."

She threw her hands up in frustration, flopping face first onto the bed.

Concordia took this moment to pull the Xtransceiver from her dress, putting it in between the couch cushions. After faking a bit of rummaging, she pulled it back out, exclaiming, "I found it!"

Touko sprang up in an instant, seeing the device in the woman's hands, thoroughly confused. "Where did you find it?"

"It was here." She stood up to hand it to her, pointing to the couch.

' _But I checked there. Twice._ '

She kept her suspicion off of her face, taking it with a short "thanks." Attaching it to her arm, she searched for her mother's number, ceasing all movement when she was about to press "Call." "Mind stepping out for a minute?" she asked as politely as possible.

The attendant nodded, then bowed, doing as she was told.

"Hello? Concordia?"

She stared at the screen, all previous statements she had prepared wiped from her mind.

"O-Oh! Touko! Didn't see you there... How a—"

"How the _fuck_ do you know Concordia?" she blurted out, feeling the situation very much called for language.

"Touko, I raise you to be better than that; don't swear at me like I'm one of your friends."

" _Answer the fucking question._ "

Knowing her daughter wasn't going to relent, she lied, saying, "I don't know what you're talking about. I said Bianca, not this Concordia you may have heard. She called me earlier today to ask about you."

She wasn't buying this sad excuse at all, but there was no point in arguing about it. Her mother would never fess up, no matter how much she may press for details.

"Well tell her I'm doing just fine and that N is a lovely human being, of which does not deserve your disapproval."

Her mother scowled at this, not appreciating the direct jab in the slightest. "You aren't staying away from him like I said to, are you?"

"Why should I? He takes care of me and I, him. I don't understand what's wrong here." The daughter rolled her eyes, finding the mother's comments both ridiculous and offensive. "Anyway, that's not why I called." She sighed then and ran a hand through her hair, wishing she had planned how she was going to say this beforehand.

"Just know that... if... if you hear anything about my condition or me, it's not anyone's fault, not even his. _Especially_ not his."

"Touko? Touko, my dear, what do you mean? What's going on?"

"It's nothing, Mom. Just, if anything happens to me, don't blame it on him, alright?"

"Touko, please, what are you—"

She hung up before she could hear anymore of her mother's desperate pleas. She put her chin in her hand as she propped her arm up against her knee, feeling incredibly frustrated with everything.

Deciding she had thought enough, she grabbed her spotty towel to cough into as she walked over to the room door, calling Concordia back in.

The accusing, wary look on the brunette's face said more than the girl would probably ever be willing to say to her.

"Is something wrong? Did something happen?"

Staring at the blond for one last second, she turned away, unable to read the cryptic woman. "No. It's nothing. Thanks for finding my Xtransceiver."

"You're quite welcome. Is there anything else I can do for you?"

"That's about it. Thank you for offering, though."

* * *

As the silence went on through nightfall, Touko fell asleep with her book over her face, Concordia having to remove it before she turned the girl on her side. She and Anthea were instructed to take precautionary measures and put the girl on her sides or her stomach whenever she fell asleep, this action preventing her frown drowning in her own blood.

Once the ocean-eyed girl was on her side, the goddess of peace examined her closely, pulling the girl's left arm daintily out from under her, watching for any signs of stirring she might make.

Strategically, she removed the Xtransceiver, tucking it away into her dress just like the first time she stole it.

Later that night, she scuttled away into her room now that her shift was over, dialing Touya's number as per usual.

"Hello?"

"Mister Touya?"

"Oh." She then heard him call for the female trainer's mother, seeing the woman later appear on the screen.

"Good evening sir, ma'am."

"Concordia, can I ask you about something?" the mother spoke.

"Certainly."

"As I'm sure you already know, Touko called me earlier today."

This phrase caused Touya to start complaining about how she didn't call him, having to be shushed and shot down by both women.

"Before she hung up, she told me that, if I heard something about her and her condition, that I shouldn't pin the blame on anyone. Is she up to something? You wouldn't happen to know what it is, would you?"

The attendant sighed, knowing that their meetings would eventually come to this: having to tell the concerned pair the truth.

' _Oh how I hate being the bearer of bad news..._ ' "You see, ma'am, your daughter... it pains me to say this but... she's dying."

The mother went rigid, the dying girl's best friend staring in shock and disbelief, speechless.

"Her body is growing immune to the medicine we've prescribed to her and her health is deteriorating. She's on borrowed time and she only really has a year at best to live. You see, as much as I rather enjoy the king and her being together, I feel it would be best for her to be with you during this duration. It's also not save for her to be here, as Ghetsis, our king's father, and everyone in Team Plasma thinks she's dead. If she were discovered by him or any other Team Plasma members, the results would be disastrous."

The long silence that followed was eventually pierced by a broken cry, Concordia seeing the girl's mother fall downward off of the screen.

The mother had fallen to her knees, crumpled up on the ground, hands to her face as she sobbed.

Touya, unsure of what to do, went up to her, awkwardly comforting her. "Err, Concordia, do you think you could call back tomorrow?" he asked, face contorted in distress.

The blond nodded before hanging up, deciding to let Touko's mother have her moment of grievance.

"To be cursed with such a disease... no one deserves that." She shook her head, leaning back in the chair she was sitting in. "Everyone around you suffers with you because of it. It is an embodiment of pure evil. And there's rarely any way to lessen the pain."

She looked at the screen of the device, seeing the picture Touko took consisting of herself, N, and her team.

"My apologies to all of you," she murmured solemnly, glancing away to tilt her head back and close her eyes, "but this must be done."

* * *

Coughing and wheezing into a sitting position, Touko woke up, scrambling for her towel. She waited until the fit was over before she groaned, seeing the large stains of red on the sheets. With a sigh, she stripped them off, replacing them.

After all that was said and done, she sat on the edge of the mattress, looking at her wrist to check the time.

It was then that she realized her Xtransceiver had disappeared once more.

' _I knew it_ ,' she thought with a ragged sigh, making a mental note to harass Concordia bout where her device went.

For now, though, she decided to take her medicine, the period between dosages having been upped since they felt just twice a day wasn't enough.

But her body felt worse every time she took it.

' _It's probably just a side effect_ ,' she convinced herself as she downed two pills.

Before, she loved these moments of downtime, the pause in between caretakers giving her the freedom to do as she pleased, no one around to breathe down her neck or reprimand her for not watching her health carefully enough. But now...

The loneliness only made her feel pure and utter dread, and nothing else but.

She sighed with relief when N arrived, welcoming him warmly with a hug, shoving the towel aside. He didn't need to see the fresh stains on them.

"Are you feeling any better at all?" he asked, holding her hands now with concern.

"At times. But then the coughs come back and the joy of feeling healthy is lost."

They both frowned, the brunette later offering him a slight smile. "But it's as you said; don't worry about that right now, alright? I've got time, don't I?"

His smile in return was faulty, hiding it by kissing one of the hands he was holding. "You can't leave me yet. I won't let you." He kissed her cheek now, pulling her back into a vice afterward.

"I won't. Not yet."

But even then, the doubt in her voice was strong.

How long did she truly have?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: and the plot thickens~
> 
> unforunately, this story only has about two chapters left, whoops!
> 
> |D
> 
> "As weeks went by,  
> It showed the shield was not fine  
> They told me, 'Son,  
> it's time to tell the truth now'  
> And she broke down  
> and I broke down  
> 'Cause I was tired  
> Of lying"  
> Brick - Ben Folds Five


	13. What Sarah Said

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I will be rather... preoccupied later this month, so I'm just gonna upload the rest of the story now
> 
> \----
> 
> Oh, you guys are gonna love this chapter.
> 
> I guarantee it.

Her mornings were always lonely now.

Every time she woke up, she would look around, finding neither hide nor hair of N.

Or anyone, for that matter.

Over the past month, Touko had become accustom to staying alone for hours at a time before anyone showed up.

But just because she was used to it didn't mean it didn't hurt.

Sighing as she sat up, she stared down at herself, grimacing at how everything she was wearing shifted uncomfortably to one side while she was sleeping. Before she fixed her clothes, though, she had to untangle herself from the sheets.

She also had to strip the bed, muttering to herself about how each day, her coughing got just a little worse.

Looking at them, she was hit with an overwhelming feeling of dread.

Shuddering, she put the sheets away, deciding to fix the bed after she showered.

And maybe the water would wash away the lingering dread that she just couldn't shake.

As she stepped into the shower and turned on the water, she felt anxious for no reason, swearing as she felt her heart slam against her chest.

She leaned against the tile wall, doubling over as she coughed into her hand, the blood seeping through her fingers.

She wheezed as she put her hand over her heart, willing herself to relax.

But it only kick-started again once she heard a knock at the bathroom door.

"Hello? N? Anthea? Concordia?" she asked, frowning slightly as she glanced at the door.

There was no response.

' _It's probably just Anthea trying to spook me…_ ' She shook her head and waved it off, deciding it was nothing to worry about.

But she just couldn't stop that feeling.

Because the thought of leaving the bathroom left her with such an immense sense of insecurity, she stayed in the shower for as long as she possibly could, relenting and stepping out when she saw her fingers starting to prune.

She could hear a clock ticking, unable to find the source of the sound.

' _Am I going crazy?_ '

She dressed herself just as slowly, being articulate and observing each motion she made, just to prolong leaving the bathroom.

She started shivering a little, her fear causing her body to react, adrenaline starting to pump through her veins. Whatever it was, her body prepared itself for it, though she knew that, no matter how much she anticipated it, she probably wouldn't react fast enough to it.

' _Whatever she's up to, it's not funny anymore. N would answer me. He would have probably even stepped in here._ ' She repeated this sort of mantra in her head, telling herself that the pink-haired woman would just jump out and startle her.

Once she was finally dressed, she took light, gradual steps toward the door, hesitantly reaching for the doorknob. Her hand was shaking uncontrollably, fingers flinching when she felt the cold knob.

With a turn of the knob, she carefully opened the door.

The reaction was almost instantaneous and it wasn't until she was slammed onto the ground that she was able to process what was going on.

"Ghetsis!" she asked in a bewildered garble, voice chocked because of his hands around her throat.

"So you were never really dead. I see. Whoring around my son is the way you've stayed alive this entire time, isn't it? Planning on taking advantage of him and compromising Team Plasma? Then I shall see to it that you are _truly_ dead this time."

Her hands clawed at his as his grip tightened, struggling and flailing under his weight. Swearing as she cut him a few times with her nails, he started bashing the back of her head against the tile, grinning smugly when he felt her struggling decrease and almost nearly stop.

Touko herself felt an immense pain in her chest, as if her heart had just burst inside her ribcage.

And it possibly very well had.

Each time Ghetsis smashed her skull against the tile, blood spouted out of her mouth, rivulets running down either corner of her lips, spots flying out onto her clothes and his robe. She saw black, dizzying spots, a sharp, excruciating, throbbing sensation taking over her entire skull. She also felt a sticky dampness over part of her scalp, locks of her hair clinging to her face and the back of her neck because of it.

Suddenly, Touko felt the body above her move, hearing a crash, assuming some of the items on the counter had been knocked over. As her crumpled body lay on the floor, she could just barely see through blurred vision that N had his father half-lying on the counter, one of the king's hands enclosed around the Sage's neck.

" _What are you doing_?" the younger one asked with a seething ferocity previously unseen.

"That girl is preventing you from—"

"Touko has done more for me in just a few months than you have done for me in my _lifetime_."

"Now N, let us be rational."

"Rational? _Rational_! ?" He pulled his father away from the counter, letting go of him and balling his hand into a fist, punching him as hard as he could.

Ghetsis was floored by the impact, holding his bruising cheek in shock, and, quite possibly, fear. His son had never gotten upset before, much less like this.

It seemed he didn't really know everything about his son.

" _Get out_ ," N hissed vehemently, his father quick to follow the order.

As soon as his father fled, he rushed to the broken porcelain doll lying on the cold tile floor, seeing her surrounded by a pool of maroon. All previous anger and rage he harbored was swiftly replaced with pure, heartbreaking anguish, gathering the blood-stained trainer in his arms.

"Touko! Touko! Wake up!"

"I was never asleep in the first place," she said with a raspy, tired voice, unable to completely open her eyes. She coughed into her hand a few times before it fell back to the ground lifelessly. "Thank you," she murmured, smiling at him as best as she could.

"Please don't die on me," he practically pleaded, eyes brimming with tears.

"I'm sorry, N," was all she could say in response to his request. Her time was coming to and end and they both knew it.

"You can't leave me! Not yet! Not this soon!"

She could only look at him solemnly, weakly lifting her hand again and placing it on his cheek. He put his hand over hers, closing his fingers around her fragile ones, having difficulty keeping himself together for her sake.

"I'll give you one last song to remember me by. Don't ever let it leave your heart."

He knew then that he wouldn't be able to keep himself composed once the song ended.

" _When you're tired, weary,_ " she coughed, " _worn down with age  
When all of your memories begin to fade," _cough,  
" _Your world of white now stained with black  
Your labored breath,"_ cough, " _ne'er to come back  
The best wishes of others now,_" cough, " _obsolete  
The lull of rest now what,_" cough, " _you seek  
If all this is said and done,_" she coughed a few more times before continuing,  
" _It's time you sing your Swanna song._ "

By the time the lullaby had ended, he had her in a tight embrace, unable to stop himself from sobbing.

She turned her head slightly to kiss his cheek, murmuring to him, "I love you, N. Never forget that."

As his hold on her strengthened, her body went limp in his arms, her hand sliding off of his cheek.

* * *

"My lord, you must eat.

"My lord, you must rest.

"My lord, Touko would not have wanted to see you this way."

N was at her bedside, position unchanging, as it had been for the past few days. He hadn't changed out of the bloodied clothing, the handprint and kiss she let on his complexion having dried and flaked.  
Anthea watched her king with a heavy heart, feeling absolutely helpless in this situation.

Everyone had reacted differently to the news of her near-death, knowing there was a slim chance the girl would make it through. She was currently in a comatose state, but her condition was very slightly degrading as the days went by.

The last time the goddess of love had checked on Concordia, her room was in complete and utter disarray, broken furniture lying about. There were holes in the walls and the goddess of peace herself was in a broken heap in the middle of the room, lamenting over "a failed plan" and berating and blaming herself for what had happened to the trainer.

The king was just staring at the girl lying in the hospital bed, the heart monitor's faint beeping the only signal telling them that the girl was just barely breathing.

Touko herself was covered with medical equipment: a breathing mask, an IV drip, a heart monitor, a brain monitor, a breathing machine.

In this comatose state of hers, there was no way of knowing if she would ever wake up again.

"Touko's mother and her friends will be visiting shortly," Anthea said.

It was almost as if the king hadn't heard her at all, as he made no attempt to move whatsoever.

With a sigh, she let the room, knowing there was nothing she could do for him while he was in this state.

A few hours later, the attendant knocked on the door, saying, "My lord, her visitors are here." Without waiting for him to give a response she knew he wouldn't give, she opened the door hesitantly, glancing over her shoulder at the four trailing behind her. She could see the concern on their faces, almost as if they weren't ready for what they were about to see.

"Brace yourself," she murmured mostly to herself, her own fears lying in what their reactions would be.

She could hear someone inhale sharply as they all saw the scene before them, the king staring will dull, hollow eyes at the paling girl breathing artificially in the hospital bed.

There was a tense silence as they filed in, unable to believe what they were seeing. Bianca was the first to crack, breaking into a sob as she flew to the bed, draping herself over the side.

Cheren, remaining emotionally reserved, swallowed the lump that had been forming in his throat, going over to the blonde trainer and rubbing her shoulder, keeping his eyes to the sterile floor.

Touya had glued himself to the doorway, unable to move any further once he saw Touko lying there. He also saw the large splotches of darkened scarlet on N's clothes, a significant amount of the color on his face as well.

Her mother approached the bed slowly, cautiously, on the side the king was sitting on, swallowing hard as she took one of her daughter's cold, clammy hands. Soon, the tears began to form, spilling over and falling onto the sheets, the mother weeping for her broken daughter.

Then all hell broke loose.

"You killed her! You killed my daughter! Monster! Murderer!"

It had all happened much too fast for Anthea to intervene on time. In the blink of an eye, Touko's mother had attacked N, clawing at his face, punching rubs, making contact with whatever she could as she kicked, flailing about. They had fallen to the floor because of her momentum, the woman gaining the advantage to pummel him to a pulp.

And he just let her.

"Ma'am, please! Control yourself!" the younger woman shouted, pulling her off of him. She still struggled in the goddess' arms, continuing to shout insults at the king.

"It's not his fault! Leave him alone!" Bianca wailed as she lifted her head, crying harder. Cheren and Touya could only stare in shock.

"Guards! _Guards_!"

The Plasma grunts rushed in, taking the ballistic mother away, the woman still putting up a fight. "He killed her! He still has her blood! You're letting him get away with killing my baby!"

By this point, the tears were streaming down her face and her fight grew a little weaker. Soon, she let herself be dragged away, just sobbing her heart out, begging for her daughter to wake up.

Back in the room, Bianca had become a sopping mess, with Cheren shaking uncontrollably. Touya had moved from the doorway into the room since the guards had come in, absolutely frozen and blank-minded.

"My king, are you alright?" the goddess of love asked, sighing tiredly as she approached him.

N simply got up and sat back down in the chair he had been sitting in prior to the attack.

Touko's mother had scratched his face rather well. On his cheek were four dripping lines, the drops falling onto his shoulder, his blood lighter and stark red against the trainer's, which had dried long ago.

Taking out a kerchief, she reached for his chin, being stopped abruptly, with him merely putting up his hand and shaking his head.

Sighing once again, the woman dropped her arms, staring worriedly at him. "What she said isn't true. It isn't your fault."

He shook his head no again. "She is right, Anthea. Absolutely so. If I hadn't requested that she stay with me, she would not have been in this comatose state. She would have lived happily with her friends, who probably also feel the same way as her mother does."

The blonde in the room was quick to voice how she truly felt. "I never blamed you," she said with a shaky, raspy voice. "Not once."

The raven-haired boy merely nodded in agreement. He was furious, but his rage was directed toward the Sage that had done this to one of his closest friends.

"I... I don't..." The brunet's mouth clicked shut, unable to form the words. He didn't know how he honestly felt. This was all so sudden, so heavy, too fast for him to keep up with.

He just bowed his head down, looking almost shameful because of his inability to reply.

N just smirked sadly at the boy, knowing he felt the same as himself, troubled.

"Thank you," he said to all three of them, his gaze returning to the girl in front of him.

He wondered if she would agree with their statements.

* * *

It took Anthea quite some time to get N to bathe and change his clothes. But she heckled him enough that he even bandaged his cheek, just to get her pestering to stop.

But it was on the condition that she leave his dirtied clothes alone. He stored them away, never wanting to see them again, but not wanting to throw them out either.

It was one of the only things left he could remember her by.

He, naturally, continued to watch her as the days past, some nights sleepless, some nights restless. But whenever he did sleep, he always held a hand of hers between his, hoping to warm up the icy flesh.

A few days later, he had realized that her team knew nothing about their owner's injuries. Concordia, having returned, albeit still unstable, brought the pokéballs in, stepping out right after she had handed them to him.

As he had expected, when they were released, they took a moment to process the scene in front of them before they whirled on him, bombarding him with questions. Calming them down, he painfully recapped what had happened from the day Ghetsis had tried to kill her to the present day.

" _If Ghetsis dare show his face again, I'll tear him to shreds_ ," Shogun threatened, the king knowing he was absolutely serious.

And in all honesty, N was pretty sure he wouldn't have stopped the Samurott.

" _I and the others thank you for saving her_ ," Scorch said, bowing his head in respect.

"But she's—"

" _It matters not that she was hurt. That was not within your abilities to control. What truly matters is that you came to her aid. She seemed to enjoy the time she spent with you, and for that, we thank you as well._ "

It was hard not to break down again; the kindness of the legendary's words reached his heart, piercing through the front that the king had been putting on.

"Thank you," he murmured, the Reshiram dipping his head down, letting him touch his snout. He hummed in response, the single, monotonous note ringing throughout the room, providing just a bit of comfort and light in this cold and dark time.

* * *

" _It's time_."

The voice boomed and rattled items in the room, waking the previously-sleeping king.

"Time for what, exactly?" he asked, already sitting upright, wide awake by the harsh wake-up call. He already had an idea of what the pokémon was talking about, but he didn't want to admit it to himself. He wiped his face with his hand, complexion growing pale.

" _My lord, she is gone_ ," Deviant said, bowing her head, eyes closing solemnly.

He looked up at the brain monitor, seeing the activity slowly descend.

Within minutes, all activity ceased.

"No." N got to his feet, fixing wires, reattaching some and removing others. "No no no no no no no!"

Her team watched as he made a mad scramble to try and save her, merely watching with broken hearts and teary eyes.

Their trainer was no more.

Giving up his scramble, he felt to the side of the bed, peering up at her with crying eyes. She was still breathing, but her soul...

it was no longer with her body.

" _You have to disconnect the breathing device_ ," Courage said, hopping over to it and motioning with his beak to the switch.

Reluctantly, he dragged himself over to the machine, sobbing all the while. Tentatively, his hand felt for the switch on the machine.

But he couldn't bring himself to do it.

" _Let her soul be at rest, my lord_ ," the Reshiram said, just as devastated about this as the king was. " _It is futile to let her body live here when her soul is elsewhere. You are tethering her here artificially._ "

"I'm aware of that!" N shouted back, punching the wall next to him. "I do not wish to keep her here but... I'm not ready to let her go!"

" _We aren't either. But it has to be done. We want her back just as much as you do, but we know it isn't possible anymore. She's gone now. The best we can do for her now is keep her in our memories and in our hearts._ "

N's jaw clenched, knowing the Emolga's words to be true, wishing he could keep himself from believing them.

" _It isn't easy for us either, my lord_ ," the Braviary said, hopping up to him and shaking his head. " _But we'll all help each other get through this rough time. We'll be here for you every step of the way. We can't heal on our own._ "

A collective murmur of agreement was made by the other pokémon in the room, looking at him with nothing but sincerity.

Taking a deep breath and holing it, the king shut his eyes tight as he hit the switch.

A mere beat later, Scorch made a powerful, mournful cry, letting all know that Touko was truly gone.

* * *

N peered at himself in the mirror, adjusting the tie he was wearing, making sure there was no visible lint on his jet black suit.

His eyes were sunken, dark circles ringing them. He glanced around for something, then remembered that he wasn't in his own bathroom.

He hadn't even set foot into his own room, much less come into the vicinity of it, unable to bring himself to the place where she said her last words.

He was too afraid of what might be left over. He had passe by grunts that spoke of how difficult it was to get the blood off of the tile and how they had to discard the bathroom rug altogether.

The comments had brought an onslaught of emotional instability for hours.

"Are you ready, my king?" Anthea asked, knocking on the bathroom door without coming in.

"I suppose. One can never truly be ready for a funeral," he replied, chuckling without a trace of humor.

When he emerged from the bathroom, the goddess of love smoothed out his shoulders, placing her hands on his cheeks and giving him a weak smile.

"Remember, we're here for you, my lord. I won't tell you it'll be easy, because it honestly won't be, but I can tell you that she loved you dearly and still does, wherever she is. You've done everything you could for her, and more, and that's all that matters now."

She kissed his cheek before leading the way out of the room.

As he was naturally obliged to, he ha invited her friends and family, rather surprised by the turn out there at the edge of the Plasma property. People she once battled, people once assisted by her, people she had touched emotionally; they and their pokémon all showed up to pay their respects to the honorable trainer. Her own team was there as well, usually accompanying N wherever he went.

The precession lasted for quite some time, those that wanted to see her one last time being allowed to do so. The brunette was dressed in a pure white sundress, white lilies adorning the area around her head, one being put in her hair, which had been pinned up in the fashion she usually liked it.

A eulogy was read by Cheren, with others that may have wanted to share their memories of Touko doing so afterward. All throughout the process, some would become total wrecks, incapable of doing anything else but collapsing and bursting into tears.

When the casket was being lowered into the ground, her mother had completely lost it then, flying toward the grunts dropping it down carefully. Touya had been standing net to her and he caught her before she could reach it, restraining her by her arms as she wildly tried to stop the grunts.

"No! You can't bury my baby! She can't be dead! She's the only child I have! There was so much more I needed to tell her! I never even got to tell her I love her!"

Those witnessing this failed to fight back tears, wishing this was all just a sick joke, that they could heal the miserable woman's pain in some way.

It wasn't until they had started covering over the casket with dirt that she gave up her will to fight, slipping through the brunet's arms and falling to her knees, shielding her face in her hands.

"My baby! My daughter! She's gone! She's gone..."

Bianca joined the weeping mother, hugging her and crying on her shoulder, swaying from side to side to try and ease the pain. "It's okay. It'll be okay. She's here. She's always here. She was never really gone in the first place."

Her words were enough to give everyone at least a slight peace of mind.

The ceremony had lasted from the late morning to the late afternoon, the day starting out sunny and clear, but large, gray clouds rolling in now. Thunder clapped and boomed, lightning streaking the sky. One by one, the visitors started to leave, quickly placing the item they brought to decorate her grave around the stone before they gave her their final goodbyes, leaving to beat the storm.

Only one person had stayed once the fat raindrops started to fall, dousing everything it could touch.

The king ran to the pavilion to retrieve an umbrella, running back to the grave to keep her gravestone dry.

" _My lord, it is growing dark and the rain is slowly growing worse. We must go._ " Scorch was a distance away, crouching under the pavilion, avoiding the water. The other five were resting under his wings, eyeing the green-haired fellow.

"I will leave soon," he said, busy studying every inch of the stone, making sure the calculations were precise and correct, no errors to be found on it. Then, kneeling down, he took off his necklace, coiling the chain on top of itself, the ornament being placed in the center of the minuscule pedestal.

Staring at it for a moment, he murmured, "Remember us, wherever you are," before getting to his feet and stepping away, letting the stone finally become drenched in the heavy rain.

Not once did he turn his back on her on the way back to the castle.

He sat backward on Scorch, since the dragon had reluctantly offered to fly him back, keeping his eyes trained on the grave. His perception of it shrank as they flew further away, vision also becoming obscured by the blurring rain and thick tree leaves.

He would return tomorrow, and the day after, everyday until he was no longer capable of going.

He would return even after his heart finally healed and he could think of her without becoming emotionally compromised.

He would return always.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: There's an epilogue, so stick around for that, y'all.
> 
> "And then the nurse comes round  
> And everyone will lift their heads  
> But I'm thinking of what Sarah said  
> That "Love is watching someone die"  
> So who's going to watch you die?"  
> What Sarah Said - Death Cab For Cutie


	14. Hi

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the official story is over but there's one more little thing to upload in case you wanted to know how the Swanna Song tune went...
> 
> \----
> 
> Well hi guys.
> 
> I'd apologize for how long it took to get something this short up, but I'm not sorry. Life has been rather busy for me and it's finally winter break. So I'll be updating pretty much all of my current stories too.
> 
> ... Hopefully, anyway.
> 
> Uhm, I feel like I kind of failed this because I haven't had time to write in such a long time. :v Don't be afraid to tell me if it's full of suck, okay?
> 
> So anyway, enjoy and stuff.

**Dear Touko,**

It has been one week since you passed, three days since you were buried after your funeral, and five hours since I have last visited your grave.

Anthea told me that if I wrote letters to you as if you were still here, it would help alleviate the pain. I suppose she was right, as I do feel a bit better writing to you like this. She also suggested I leave these in an envelope on your grave. Maybe you will be able to read them some day. Who can say for certain?

Though I had vowed to never set foot in that cursed room again, Looker came to the castle a few days ago to investigate the scene. Unfortunately, when he visited, he felt the need to bring me back to where it happened, saying it was necessary and standard, unavoidable protocol. By the time I was consciously aware of what was going on, I was on my knees on the ground, doubled over and screaming while I looked at hairs I had accidentally teared out during my moment of insanity. Both Anthea and Concordia had to come in and lift me off of the ground. I distinctly remember how violently my body was shaking. I also remember my face being a bit damp... I suppose I had shed a few tears during that episode as well.

During the funeral, I certainly found out where you got your... strong personality from. It seems your mother, and Touya as well, I might add, resent me for your death. They find it easier to place blame on me rather than attempting to move on from the tragic event. I suppose they have all reason to. In a way, it truly is my fault that this has happened.

Bianca has been visiting your grave everyday, holding one-sided conversation with your tombstone. That is to say, from what I can see, they are. Maybe you are really talking to her? I will not deny that the thought of you speaking to her makes me envious and irritated. But then I remember who is responsible for the loss of your life and I see that you have all reason to ignore me and hate me even. I will hope that what I think isn't so, though.

Cheren only came to the funeral and has not come to see you at all; I believe he is... emotionally compromised. All things cope differently; I can sympathize with him. I probably should have done this from the start. I can only maintain composure for so long when I visit your grave before I am screaming as I did when I was forced to revisit the room.

Your pokémon have been doing the same as Bianca. I cannot bring myself to stay and repeat their actions; the things that they say... to put it simply, out of most everyone that learned of your death, their reaction was the hardest to witness.

While we are approaching the subject of your companions, they hold no grudge against me, surprisingly. In fact, they are in the very office I am writing this in. The depression they feel is almost unbearable to be around, but I am sure my despair feels just the same for them. They do say "misery needs company," after all. I just did not expect for the saying to hold true.

Concordia would like me to tell you that, the very day my father discovered you were still alive, she, your mother, and Touya had made a plan to free you from this castle. Hearing the plans, it sounded more like a kidnapping than a rescue attempt. She did have the best intentions in mind though, so I can't blame her for wanting to take you away. The problem lies in the fact that she was attempting to take you away from _me_ , which I would be more than adamant about preventing. But now that I think about it, you probably would have lived longer had it not been for my neediness of keeping you here with me. And for that, I apologize. Profusely.

Since we are on the topic of plans, I would like to say... I am breaking my promise. Staying in this castle brings me far too much pain to remain here. I walk the halls and I feel as though I can hear your voice calling after me. At night when I rest, I could swear I feel your touch, comforting me, alleviating me as you did every night.

And it's unbearable to know, to remember, that I will never truly experience those things from you again.

Once I am done writing this letter to you, I am leaving the Unova region for good, or for at least a long while. I have asked your pokémon whether they would like to stay or go and they all agree that they'd like to accompany me. They are still very loyal to you, declaring that they were here to stay when I offered to free them. They tell me I am the closest thing they have to being with you and that they are indebted to me for letting them stay in the atrium with all the other pokémon, glad that I had the mercy to keep my father from freeing them and leaving them under your ownership. I can see now why you loved them so and why you were so frantic when you believed I set them free. In hindsight, it would have been a very irrational, and dare I say stupid, choice to force such good friends apart from you. It's indescribable to say how wizened they are and it's more than safe for me to say that they are the only things keeping my sanity during this harsh time. Which is why I am so grateful they are accompanying me.

I'd also like to thank you for all you've done for me. You've helped me learn more about human nature. Not all humans are horrible people. Some of them are like you, who love and embrace their pokémon, who could not stand to be parted from their companions and vice versa. You've made me see that the mission my subjects and I were working so hard toward was wrong and unethical. Should I ever have another thought of separating a person from their pokémon, I will think of you and your friends that are with me, here to remind me that there truly are good people in the world. I thank you for again showing me that.

The guilt I feel for making this decision and breaking this promise to you is overbearing, to the point where I feel I may suffocate under it. I do hope you see the logic in my decision and you do not feel offended or blame yourself as I do for what I've caused. I can and possibly will apologize for this for an eternity and it still will not make up for what I've done. I just hope you can find it in your heart to forgive me.

And who knows? Maybe on this journey of mine, I'll find you.

Because I know I'll see you again someday.

**_-N H._ **

* * *

**_Endnotes_ **

Yes, I know this story ends rather sadly, but that was my intention from the start of this story.

Originally, I had planned to have N be the sickly one, but as I planned out the prologue in my notebook, I found that that scene worked out a hell of a lot better with Touko passing out than N. For both versions, I also intended to have Touko win. One of the reasons I wrote this fic in the first place was because I was tired of seeing Touko lose in a majority of the Ferriswheelshipping fics. It's good to have a bit of variety, no? At least I would think so. The girl should win sometimes too, you know.

And yes, I did also plan to have this story have very harsh mood whiplash. As you all saw, this story went from something light-hearted and funny to something heavy and dramatic. I enjoy progressing my stories from either light to heavy or vice versa. It adds depth to a story and I'm sure you all agree that it most definitely did that. As I thought about what I did with my story, the song this chapter is named after came to mind, _Hi_ by Psapp. Specifically, these lyrics came to mind:

__**Hello**  
Get out the abacus and count this  
A funny story with a dark twist  
The target's so big that you can't miss   
__**Me**

I think it's safe to say that this story had a comparatively dark twist.

I'm very sorry for all the tears I have caused you to shed. I can't say that I wanted _tears_ , but I did want there to be an emotional connection with Touko and the reader to give them that sense of loss. It's sharp feeling, but it's a beautiful feeling.

Death is a tragically beautiful thing. It doesn't matter how well a writer you are; to capture its true essence in words is impossible.

But I sure as hell can try my hardest.

Moving on, if you read the story carefully enough, you could notice some parallels and recurring motifs. In every chapter but **Brick** , the chapter started with Touko waking up to a new event. Also, there was a pattern to her coughing. It started out diminishing at first, before it slowly came back. I can't remember precisely the chapter, but she had an innocent little coughing fit, and the succeeding chapters after had ones that started to become more grave in condition until she was coughing up blood again as she had before.

The story kind of has bookends as well. Touko "dies" in the beginning and he rushes to her side, but he doesn't touch her then because their relationship isn't established. Whereas at the end, he's holding her in his arms as she dies, literally this time, her heart condition the cause of both incidents {the head injury inflicted by Ghetsis only sped up the process by putting her in a coma}. Both times, she is on the floor as well.

There was also a very subtle one that could be easily glossed over. I don't remember the chapter in which it was said, but N tells Touko that the Swanna Song was the very last thing he heard from his mother before she disappeared. Besides her little message to him at the end before she passes, Swanna Song is also the last thing he hears from her as well.

Aside from the motfis, I also made it so that it would seem like Touko's illness would be what would kill her to make Ghetsis' appearance seem like a bit of a surprise. I haven't really heard anything about how effective that was, but meh, I tried. I thought it would be something at least a little eyebrow raising, since he's not really seen much in the story. But he _did_ say he would kill her to leave N in a ridiculous amount of emotional pain... and he succeeded quite well, as you can see.

I had a bit of a hard time deciding what to do with this epilogue, to be honest. My original plan was this letter, but then the anonymous user _Nimaka_ suggested to have him meet Jirachi and make a wish to bring her back. I won't lie, though it would have been very cliché of me to do, it sounded like another great plot twist. Ultimately, I stuck with the letter, as you can see, since that would be in bad taste of me to do. But I'm definitely keeping that idea for some kind of ending for something someday. No idea where I'll use it, but it's just too good not to use. Even I have to be cliché sometimes, forgive me.

To close this off, I'd like to apologize for the lack of vivid imagery for this story. I focused mostly on the characters and their emotions, and it had been years since I had last written a fanfic, so this was pretty much my trial run. Also, because this story was released before that official information about N came out from Junichi Masuda, I plan to write another fic based on his proper personality typing, which should be fun. Hopefully you'll all like that one as well.

Well guys, it looks like this is where this journey ends. If there are any questions you have to ask, I'll be sure to answer them as best as I can. Thank you for all the feedback and support. Thank you for bearing with me when I took too long to update.

**_Thank you for reading Swanna Song._ **

 


	15. Tune to Swanna Song

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> here you go
> 
> I forget if that trannon1 person was an anon reviewer or an actual user but when the story was originally uploaded, they asked me if I could explain how the tune sounded, so yeah
> 
> credit to them for letting me know and thanks again should you ever see this story again

Wow.

Okay.

Someone has brought to my attention that I have forgotten to tell you all how the Swanna Song goes {If any of you care}.

_youtube watch?v=kJGUaD6Qd64_

0:00 - 0:11  
**When you're tired, weary, worn down with age**

**When all of your memories begin to fade**

0:11 - 0:17 x 4  
**Your world of white now stained with black**

**Your labored breaths ne'er to come back**

**The best wishes of others now obsolete**

**The lull of rest now what you seek**

0:18 - 0:22 x 2  
**If all of this is said and done**

**It's time you sing your Swanna song**

Admittedly, it doesn't _exactly_ fit the meter in the middle section. I thought it did in my head. Words can be omitted if you want to "sing along" or something, I dunno.

It doesn't sound that good as a song, but hey. I am my own worst critic.

Thanks **Trannon1** for notifying me of this.

**Author's Note:**

>  
> 
> [personal twitter](http://www.twitter.com/lesimperatrices)  
> 


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